Devils… Panthers (Game 4-10/10/2009)… thoughts from the Gas Light grill?

I felt a little road trip in me… and doing all 82 games just ain’t gonna happen ever again in my life but I did want to practice a little for when I take my politically incorrect thoughts on the road for Buffalo… and friend wanted to go out… it all.. just… fell… into…. place… so after the fact from the Gas Light Grill in South Orange (thank you Mike Jeckel for intro’ing me to the joint)…. here we go!! But first… a much-advertised public statement… almost a “State of the Union” or at least “the State of the Devils From Section 209” (get yo popcorn ready!)

It has come to our attention that …. certain people… over at NJDevs… Facebook… and of course… our flagship publisher…. two man advantage….complaints… emails… heck, golly gee even unhappy comments all over that place. Seems there are certain “standards and practices” people are supposed to hold up to when they recap hockey games with hearts on their sleeve….

So in response to this, us here (ok… well just ME… no one else is posting :p)..have come to an agreement… during our pre-game and the “bad” comment… we will only use the words… “Ass”…. “Damn”… “Hell” (of course we’ll use hell… WE’RE THE FUCKING DEVILS… aw shit watch your godamn mouth Scott… holy shit… I forget how easy it is to fucking curse…. hey… knock it off!!… well fuck me!!!!) … and “bitch” (in reference to our goaltender or crazy Drunks pointed out by Lil Nicky!)…. we will NEVER however… use the words “shit… fuck…. god damn…. Jesus Christ (again… we’re the Devils… not the Arizona Cardinals… THEY love Jesus!).. faggit (then again I never used that… I’d just called shit *oops* as simply “gay”…

As for the “Good” segment of our writeups…. no will we use racial or sexual slurs… though Kevin Weekes shall still be referred to as “our homeboy”… also in the reference of my clusterfuc…. ahhh… gotcha this time…. I will try to make less ex-GF references in my writing (why not since I have new victims to bag)….We also promise to make less jokes about recently dead celebrities (though Billy Mays STILL says YOU WILL SHUT YOUR BITCH WHORE MOUTH WHEN I’M RECAPPING!!!)

During the ever-popular “funny” segments….since you can’t hold back funny… your ass is on your own!! Sorry about yo’damn luck!!!!

Gotta love when WWE 24/7 puts something timely on that I can turn into my own hockey thing, right?? Anyway……WE GOT A WINNING STREAK!! Gimme a fuc…errr… whoops… GOLLY GEE YES THAT’S SUPER!!!!

the Lines:
Parise-Zajac-Langs, Pandolfo-Niedermommy-Rolston
Halischuk-Zubrus-Bergfors, PL^3-Pelley-Clarkson

Martin-Oduya, White-Mottau, Salvador-Greene (the offense machine!)

the Good:
— Travis Zajac… seriously… he’s on the cusp of going from “good” to STAR, and its been great to see! (17 shots….COMBINED for that line… that’s almost PG-13 language worthy!!)
— Also liked seeing our little, Forsberg-spelled-sideways, Nic Bergfors getting some shots at the net tonight… damn I’d love more points from him (IS IT OK TO SAY DAMN, DAD??)
— Rob Niedermommy… again the right place at the right time and the right way (you can say that about David Clarkson’s goal too… it’s those little things they do not they didn’t do under Captain Quitter)
— Add some love for Clarkson too.. gets stuck in the abyss with Pelley and PL^3 and still finds ways to add to the team!!
— A WIN IN REGULATION!!! Praise Jesus… after all it IS Sunday now :p
— the shot total pro-Devils was simply awesome and it was good to see them overwhelm a lesser team that was beat down the night before so badly and not let them catch themselves…..
— the Andy Greene love is even spilling over on to NJDevs… I am getting really close to being able to said I told you again, just like I did with Johnny Oduya… respect muh AUTHORITYYYY!!!!!

the Bad:
— the shot total while being pro-Devils and owning most of this game, this game in NO WAY should have only been 3-2
— maybe I’m nitpicking and I expect the “best in the world” to always square to the puck, but the amount of net he left open on that second goal was just atrocious… and he only did make 19 saves… guess we’ll see when we travel to see the Ovenchicken eh?
— Well the penalty killing failed again (least they got three out of four right)
— and yeah Zajac’s been awesome… but man that gaffe with the gimme from Langs at point blank… that’s not cool…..
— PL^3 didn’t hit ONE SINGLE PERSON… WTF??? That is of course… what the FUDGE mister…. take those dirty thoughts elsewhere bucko!!! He’s still better then Peters though

the Funny:
— how many phone books did Cangelosi need to actually sit at eye level with David Clarkson in that interview??? Also introducing more people to the term Five-head (for his overdone crainal region)… and simply calling him a tiny troll gnome… that was also gratifying!!
— Seeing a really large woman (I admit I am no tiny fella but I am in the best shape I’ve been in maybe ever and still working to improve… while this woman’s thyroid excuse went out with the Regan years)… trying to sit in that one and a half chair… and the typical rude/doesn’t give a DARNED PEANUT about anyone else mister…. come over and squeeze her tiny self into the chair, making Orca-ette sit in one chair… damn it’s always funny when it ain’t you!
— Almost starting a race riot as the one black yelled YEAH DEVILS as we left and his white friend using language a I DARE NOT REPEAT… or I will get a scolding mister (don’t worry I’ll curse again on Friday…. gotta show how DUMB the bit it until it bleeds first!) going back… HELLS NO ISLANDERS BABY!!! I just didn’t wanna be there when the guns came out!
— and sorry girls… I seen it enough times… the “I’m gonna be really cute and pouty blonde” technique… I seen it WAY too many times in my life… it has ZERO effect on me (past, present or future women… be warned!)


  1. Why are the DEvils playing monday? That’s when the Jets play and House is on and Heroes is on, I get bored when my teams stink… Even with Tivo, I can only record two of them. I can watch the third brodcast live, but what will be the other one? I knew the NHL and NFL were working together to make me be in this delima.O well, atleast the Devils did something today, that the Mets could not, win and not get injured

  2. “PL^3 didn’t hit ONE SINGLE PERSON… WTF???”

    He was a one-man wrecking ball on at least 2 shifts. If the stats people didn’t record any hits, then they were being lazy: I remember at least 3.5 (he whiffed on an open-ice hit)

  3. That is one bad thing about watching at a bar with no sound…. you don’t always catch everything like you would in person (kinda why I prefer covering home games)… not like he got a truckload of ice time too though

    poor Max needs to man up and have a 2 TV living room like I do 🙂

  4. Hahahahaha I love the rant in the beginning.PL3 disappointed but the Lean Greene Defense Machine was flippin’ fantastic (like Nathan :P)

  5. Just finishedwatching the Jets game and they didnt lose! They lost Mets style, in other words they got the lead and got my hopes up and than lost in the final seconds. I fear that me being a Met fan will afect the Devils like it did last year. At least the Devils won today.
    The worst part about the Jets lossing, all my Giant freinds are going to make fun of me… But I am use to it by know
    Isn’s it nice that freinds enjoy eachother;s pain and suffering.
    GO DEVILS!!!
    it’s the only team I got left!

  6. Giant and Jet losses complete my weekend 🙂

    And get used to it… your friends ain’t your friends unless they make fun of you!!

    And oh poor Kristyn…. notice when they need some real acting done, they shove Nathan aside and it becomes all about Sylar!!

    And oh yeah… the Devils won a tiebreaker last night… this team is coming together nicely… and Nidermommy got another point as well on the pretty pass to Rolston… maybe it WAS coaching all along…

    Speaking of… way to blow a 5-0 Brent with a better team then you EVER had in Jersey!! No wonder Lou let you go without compensation!!!!

  7. NJDevs is nuts anyway. You know that. Love the cursing and references.

  8. Derek that’s what I love about the place…. OMG WE DIDN’T SCORE ON A 5 ON 3!!! I NEED TO SLIT MY WRISTS!!!!!!! it makes you feel so much more intelligent as a fan!!

    Don’t worry my real-life language wasn’t going anywhere… maybe I need a TV-MA symbol as my new profile pic :p