Archives for November 2009

Thoughts from Section 209: Devils vs Island-ddeeerrrrrssss, Nov 28, 2009

Well that was hardly a contest was it??? Still it’s nice to pound a team like cheap veal that is one, right??? Fret not Islander fans… they should be Kansas City’s problem soon!! Not much time here since we’re going to MSG to see the BU/Cornell game (hey I got it right!) in like an hour… so gotta rip this out!!

The Good:
— ROD PELLEY… he’s ANGRY!!! and INTENSE!!! And he’s GONNA PUNCH A BITCH (or is it “Choke a Bitch” I get my hangups confused) but damn he played ANGRY and that fight was most excellent… maybe there’s hope for ya yet Hot-Rod (no matter how much Rob hates you!!)
— Brian Rolston!! Welcome to the scoresheet… though please… NEVER again do the Lord Krang OMG I SCORED FOR REAL dance of shock ever again!!
— WE SCORED ON A FIVE ON THREE!!!!!!!! Our namesake is restored!!! And I loved the families RUNNING for the door before another “FUCK YOU SAM ROSEN” ensued!!!! 🙂
— Bryce Salvador…. 26 minutes… plus 2 and the job of playing with the young guys to give them confidence.. helluva job Bryce!!!!
— it’s hard on a game like this where just about EVERYONE played good (after of the first period which was gross)… and not a bad effort was to be seen aside of the stiffs who see 4 and 7 minutes of “quality” ice time….so well done for everyone else!!!!

The Bad:
— Matt Halischuk had a pretty good game.. but he had one shift of FAIL I need to bring up again…he gets an empty net (being in perfect position off the Pelley rebound shot) and HITS THE POST CLEAN *ugh*, then falls over trying to hit someone at the Islander blue line trying to come back on defense… d’ohhhhhh
— Taking 5 penalties on the Islanders?? Really?? I guess the pk needed the practice… but cmon guys… a little sloppy!!!
— Well despite his two points and his +2… it really seemed like Langenbrunner was kinda… sucky out there (no this is not to annoy Kristin or however she spells it :p)… and still he should give those points to Halischuk!
— HOW THE HELL ARE YOU A MINUS ONE in a game like this?? Oh yeah… you’re Andrew Peters and the Pikachu… BRING BACK SESTITO!!!!!
— We’re so depleted now that the Rod Pelley bomb that Biron snagged actually looked impressive too…. oiii
— It was good to get Zharkov his NHL debut and the youth is exciting…. but I can’t remember not noticing a guy who had 5 shots like he did…..

The Funny:
— the two best signs from warm-ups:
** Greene is better then orange ?
** And DIE GOMEZ DIE!!!!!
(Someone is confused on opponent :p)
— Also from warm-ups we learned that Nic Bergfors HATES KIDS… he fired a head hunter over the boards (almost) that looked intended for some puck-wanting kids in the front row!!!
— Guy in DiPietro jersey walks in to 209… looks around… and sits in the first row… guess the bad hip is contagious and doesn’t let ya up the steps eh??
— That poor kid who had to do that name the song contest….. First of all she’s in a pink jersey (bad enough, WEAR THE TEAM COLORS!!!!), she’s like eight, and then they make her name “single ladies” (really not a song to be rocking to at 8 years old… well unless you’re 28 and still act it…)…and then they give her a gift pack that weighs 800 pounds…cmonnn!!! How the hell was that lil girl gonna carry it???
— the YOU LOVE CHEAP MEAT chant for anyone who bought dollar hot dogs has to be HEARD to really understood and laughed at people… sorry… but I tried!
— The best save of the night… was by ME…one of the 209ers was tossing free hot dogs… the guy behind me had two beers in hand and couldn’t hold on to it… it bounced off him and flew past me… *snap-GLOVE SAVE and cover*… I got skills yo!
— A first ever hat trick within ONE POST… as I was typing….
And its three …one….new jersey!!!!! (Elias[2-pp… fuck you sam rosen!] (Rolston, Zajac) {10:30} )
…oops no it aint, 4 – 1!!! (Parise[15]…aahhhhh (Greene… ANDY!!!, Langenbrunner… still sucked today :p) {11:54}
Wow, 5 – 1…. Will I ever finish this post?? :p (Rolston[8] (Mottau, Bergfors) {12:32} )
The best two minutes you will ever have fully dressed 🙂
— After the fifth goal the section breaks out a BIRON SUCKS chant… 30 seconds into the chant he starts taking to the bench mopig the entire way… the whole timing and the visual of the “skate of shame”… most awesome!
The Almost-going-way-too-far with the Andy Greene Stuff:
— Seems EVERYONE had something to say with Andy Greene’s assist being STOLEN on the disallowed goal on replay….and they all knew I was gonna take it personally…..

** Josh Burnett: Whether it was in or not, you do not tell Andy Greene he has a goal then take it away. Andy Greene does not appreciate such antics.
** Deanna Over: Get some lavender candles and some eucalyptus massage oil for later tonight. Perhaps a strong bottle of red, as well. You can only hope he forgets, and it’s your womanly duty to help him along that path.

— And of course Andy gets one that NO ONE can take away… and…..
** Josh Burnett: Devils goal his 15th of the season scored by number 9, ZAAAAACH PAAARIIISSSEEEE (cue high-pitched tween girl screams)
Assisted by number 6, AAAAANDDYYYY GREEEENEEEE (cue high-pitched Mackie screams)

One more home game then it’s BUFFALO BOUND!!! Hope the lil bloggers up North are ready!!!!!!! 🙂

Poor David Clarkson…

Poor, poor David Clarkson.

And poor us as well.

That’s why you stand up and face a Zdeno Chara slapshot head-on rather than wimping out and turning sideways.  Of course, I say this behind a laptop, and not on ice staring down the barrel of a 100 MPH slapshot from the guy who broke Al MacInnis’ fastest shot record last year.

Ouch.

So add Clarkson to the infirmary list for the Devils.  Y’know, the list that already includes our beloved Dainius Zubrus.  And Jay Pandolfo.  And Rob Niedermayer.  And Johnny Oduya.  And Paul Martin.

Know what list is growing just as fast as the injured list?  The rookies list.  Add Vladimir Zharkov to a list of rookies or first-year NHLers already containing Niklas Bergfors, Pierre-Luc Letourneu-Leblond, Matt Halischuk, Matt Corrente, Tyler Eckford (who’s on his way to Lowell right now), Illka Pikkarainen, Mark Fraser, and Tim Sestito.  Guess we’re no longer one of the oldest squads in the NHL, eh?  Small victories, my friends, small victories.

Zharkov was leading the baby Devils in scoring before getting called up, and according to the ever-awesome TG, will be skating on a line with Dean McAmmond and Matt Halischuk.

Seriously gang, read that again:  Our third line – the Devils traditional strength – is two rookies and Dean Mc-friggin-Ammond.  The injuries have gotten so bad, we’re using our training camp roster.  It’s a wonder Trenton and Lowell can even field teams at this point.

So now it’s Devils/Islanders in about a half hour.  Unfortunately, no LiveCap on my end this afternoon gang.  I’ll make sure to have another one happen soon, and I’ll also make sure to let you know well ahead of time when it happens.  In the meantime, enjoy your New Jersey Lowell Devils taking on the Islanders this afternoon.

Thoughts from Section 209: Devils vs Sens, Nov 25, 2009

Welll… HI!! Dare I even say HEY YOU… or some witty crap like that… this schedule of too many home games and then not enough… it HAS to stop… it kills your writing flow… but hey I always have plenty to tell… something ALWAYS seems to happen in my in-game experiences that makes it worth while…. and hell I’ll write it so easy, even a South American can understand it! Another nice, take care of business feel good kinda win against the Senators and more to snap a 3-game losing streak!!!

The Good:
— Andrew Peters… REALLY… he was damn near Mike Peulso-ian tonight, he hit THE SHIT out of people and I loved it!! It’s funny we were watching him (and the team) in warmups… and man he looked more “emo” then my facebook status (though I still contend quoting song lyrics from a song DAMN NEAR AND DEAR TO ME is not emo… fuckbags!!!)… hell he looked like he had killed mb30’s baby or something last night (I know… I went there…)… but seriously… more games like that and he can stay!!!
— Andy Greene!!! (of course I know)…. I was worried that my “man” (if you’re not on my facebook you don’t get the comment and shame on you)… and I was beginning to worry that Andy couldn’t score and we couldn’t win without me… and there he is… if we needed to beat a goalie to score… Andy made it happen… don’t worry Andy you will still get your section below <3 (yes I am really running with this sick creation of mine… deal with it!!!)
— NO PENALTIES!!! Even better… NO TOO MANY MEN ON THE ICE….. yay!!!!!!!
— Good to see Bergfors score again… and back out there with 9 and 19 again… he belongs there….
— Hell even Elias-Rolston and Langs looked like they had something tonight… and as we put it to Jen most of the night…."He had a lot of almosts… hell he could lead the league in them" (Rolston).. I’ll even give it to the line of Clarkson, Halischuk and Sestito (SANTANNA!!!)… they looked pretty good too… and I liked seeing Halischuk using some “raise hell in front of the net” instincts… I think he’s finally getting comfortable in the NHL.. amazing what getting more then 3 shifts a night does (*coughSUTTERcough*)

the Bad:
— Whoever that non-Arlette announcer was… can she sing the National Anthems any SLOWER??? Christ it was 7:10 by the time she was done!!
— You know I gotta bring it up… and you know this ain't gonna end with me…. so I see that if you don't have season tickets already and you pay in full by tomorrow you can get a SEASON TICKET IN THE ARENA AT HALF PRICE?? I know they wanna fill the fucking stadium and all (and let he/she who wants to call me for whining… pay for MY tickets then thanks!)… so those of us who scrambled, saved (or even paid in parts) over the summer… yeah we got some nifty stuff… but you know what… I'd MUCH rather have had my tickets at HALF PRICE, thanks much… I'm going to write the Devils a nice well written but to the point letter about this tomorrow… I'll probably post it here too so you guys can see… but really… did we as your LOYAL CUSTOMERS need this kick to the face??? Hopefully this is a plan and they will work this somehow in the future (like you know… letting those of us who pay in installments get in on this)… and you'd have MORE STH ANYWAY and not need to do this and shit on your fanbase who shows up every night anyway!
*sigh* I'm getting really tired of being kicked by this team….I'd probably have just as good a time moving my shit down the block to Sun Tavern and enjoying the games at a fraction the cost…..
— Travis Zajac… had a great breakaway chance…. right in front… and he "Cangeloisi's it"… no he doesn't trans-morph into Brendan Shanahan…. he misses short and wide… just like the lil fella!!

the Funny:
— (the comments on the life ending Andrew Peters hit)
Scott Mackie "Wow, now we see why peters was so sad, he was about to committ murder on ice! What a hit!!"
Josh Burnett "Dear NHL: Please suspend Andrew Peters for that hit. I don't care if it was clean. I'm just sick of Andrew Peters. Thanks."
Tammie Hamilton "he's oppressed"
Scott Mackie "Josh, thank you sir! That was an Andy Greene-level contribution sir!!"
— So as the empty net goal was scored… we heard the best blown goal call ever (even worse then any mess that lil gnome fella makes)… the DEVILS GOAL… scored by number FIFTEEN… Jamieee… LANGENBRUNNER…. assisted by number 9…. Travis Zajac…. and number 19…. TRAVIS ZAJAC?? Really?? Only Andy can assist twice on the same goal!!!

the ANDY GREENE worship:
— And yes… when Andy did make that first assist… people did turn look and credit me… I almost teared up, I'm so proud he saved it all for ME!!!
— Hell the Devils first goal PROVES… even an Andry Green dump in is a SCORING CHANCE!!
— Josh Burnett: "ANDY GREENE IS SO AWESOME, PATRIK ELIAS NEEDS HIM TO SCORE GOALS!"
— Scott Mackie "That's two from my honey!!! Go Greene!!! ? ?" (like I said.. the bit is being RUN WITH)
Tammie Hamilton "? it, oh andy"
— "Andy Greene didn't miss that pass… he was trying to make Elias skate faster!!"
— Josh Burnett: "Wow, I just heard "Oh Andy" in my head to the tune of Oh Sherrie by Journey (Steve Perry?). Anyway, extraordinarily disturbing.
Tammie Hamilton: "Oh Andy, Our Love Holds On, Holds On"

Two more home games before I take this little freak show on the road… oh Buffalo I am coming… and I bring with me more Championships then your city of fail has not only seen but can dream of!! (then again, one would do that job too!!)

I Just Couldn’t Resist. Again.

Ya know, it really is funny. It seems like the newest fad in the hockey blogosphere is to grab a keyboard and wax poetic about how the Devils just destroy the game, disappoint hockey naturalists, sport lousy attendance, and simply aren’t getting it done anymore. But as we learned last time, it’s probably a good idea to make sure you have at least…I don’t know… watched a live hockey game before you plunge right in and scrap together a literary abortion. After all, it really isn’t fair to ask someone to resist temptation twice.

Let’s take a little trip over to Arthur Staple’s latest, shall we? Go ahead… I’ll give you a few.

Ok. Changed your underpants? Good, let’s go.

As a Devils’ fan, I’m obviously used to reading such poorly-written, devoid-of-substance attacks against one of the NHL’s most successful teams. However, I must admit that this is the first time I have read a piece focusing on playoff success in November. Really, Arthur? You’re going to sit at your little cubicle and write an article about the NHL Playoffs… in November?!

Brilliant. Well, your first self-contradiction comes with a statement that Lou Lamoriello “has it wrong” and that he’s “had it wrong since the lockout… even though the Devils have won three Atlantic Division titles in those four seasons.” (Could this be a test market for Microsoft’s new “does-this-make-sense?” feature?!) But wait, it gets better: Mr. Staple even makes his very own “trap” comment.

Arthur, seriously — you wouldn’t know the ol’ 1-2-2 if it kicked in your bathroom door and video-taped you reading Parade Magazine while you were waiting for the generous amount of Rogaine you graciously applied to your testicles to dry. I know this because had you recognized any trace of the “trap”, you would have easily detected it when the Rangers, Islanders, Penguins, Flyers, Capitals, Bruins, and Panthers executed it all year long. But no, no criticism of the sexy NHL clubs.

Oh look, kids — Brodeur comments, too?! How original, Arthur. Oh! You realized he got hurt last year, very good!

But Lou didn’t have a backup plan?

Really? I thought Scott Clemmensen came in and won a few games (or twenty-something) for the team and led them to an Atlantic Division championship? But ya know, Lou had no idea what he was doing. After all, Clemmensen was just signed to be a towel boy that happened to be an NHL-caliber goaltender. Who knew.

But when it’s down to the playoffs, the Devils only have Parise, Zajac, and Martin. No other Devils capable of taking a game on their shoulders, you say? My records show Langenbrunner, Pandolfo, Greene, and Clarkson — in addition to Parise and Zajac — all with registered playoff game-winners since 2006. Not to mention many from ex-Devils Gomez, Madden, and Gionta.

Sure, roster moves and player exits have caused holes to be “plugged” in New Jersey and Brian Rolston and Dainius Zubrus have filled those roles. Why? Because they want to be here. It isn’t about the money or the Broadway lights. It’s about playing a system that year after year proves itself to be one of the best in the league. Sure, the Devils have fallen on dark times in recent playoff years. But as I recall, the same string of disappointments befell the team in the late 90’s. After all was said and done, and numerous carbon-copied recycled bullcrap from “writers” like yourself — the Devils would go on to advance to the Stanley Cup finals in three of the next four seasons, winning the Stanley Cup twice.

Arthur, you can’t look me in the eye and tell me that Lou Lamoriello has no idea what he is doing. While the goal and the philosophy may stay the same year in and year out, master plans aren’t instantaneous in professional sports. Could these Devils be a part of a bigger puzzle? Who knows? I don’t have ESP, and neither do you.

Which is why you shouldn’t be writing this type of crap in November.

Devils @ Stars LIVECAP!

10:48 PM: Oh, the ZubbieCounterContest, of course.  A big congrats to Kristyn, who’s 27th Goal As A Devil “27 Dresses” Zubbie picture just edged out Kevin B.’s 26th Goal As A Devil Zubmission.  Kristyn, get a hold of us at zubbiecounter at gmail dot com and we’ll get your unidentified swag in the mail.  Congratulations!  Goodnight everyone.

10:46 PM: Okay, I’m all kinds of frustrated right now.  The site doesn’t wanna load, the Devils won’t wanna win, I give up.  Stars win, 5-3.  First LiveCap of the season = total failure.  Maybe I’ll see about doing one next weekend.

9:53 PM: Patty Elias has two assists on the night, playing primarily at center.  I have to admit, Zubbie’s probably not putting up any points in that role.

9:52 PM: Third period on…let’s hope the website holds up!

9:37 PM: Okay, there’s some issues with WordPress right now apparently.  The website won’t load on a regular basis.  The score is now 3-2 Stars, with Brian Rolston scoring on a slapshot on the power play about halfway through the period (Tyler Eckford picks up his first career NHL point with a secondary assist on the goal).  Second period is now over, and hopefully I’ll be back for a third period LiveCap, I hope.  If the website chooses to load properly.  If this little note even makes it to publication….

9:11 PM: Apparently Nelson Muntz laughing means we’re going back to the penalty kill.  Travis Zajac is off for tripping.  Our penalty kill has not been stellar tonight.  Gulp.

9:06 PM: Ott just pushed Andy Greene quite rudely.  YOU DON’T PUSH ANDY GREENE.  Andy Greene will remember Ott’s number, and one evening, when Ott least expects it…BAM!  He goes Greene.

9:05 PM: Okay, as much as I like him, THE Yann Danis is just not making the stops Marty’s made so far this period.  He got three strong ones on one sequence there and fought ’em all off.  We’ve a chance in this yet.

9:01 PM: Good stop by Marty (uhh, our Marty, not their’s) to start off his relief appearance.

9:00 PM: Game back on, and interestingly, Martin Brodeur is in net.  THE Yann Danis cannot be pleased.

8:43 PM: Aaaaaand, period over.  I’m gonna go get a stiff drink.  Hopefully the second period proves better.

8:42 PM: One minute left in the period.  Thank god.

8:41 PM: Okay, I hope it wasn’t that important.  Power play, not successful.  Sigh.

8:39 PM: Barch to the box for Dallas, Devils to the PP.  Is it safe to say it’s somewhat important that they score a goal on this power play?  I think it is.

8:37 PM: …BANANA SHPEEL?  Really, Cirque du Soleil?  Really?

8:34 PM: Dammit.  Robidas takes a feed and pops one behind Danis, 3-1 Stars on another power play goal.  I don’t want to write off this game already, but scoring four goals is not something this team is primed to do on a regular basis.

8:33 PM: I would be enjoying this game a lot more if it were in high def.  Also, if we were doing as well in the last 14 minutes was we did in the first.

8:31 PM: Tyler Eckford is not making a good first impression.  Penalty the other night, ‘nother penalty tonight.  Stars back to the power play, they scored on their first one.

8:27 PM: Elias/Rolston/Langenbrunner is one of the lines.  You know our team is getting old when Patrik Elias is the spring chicken of the line.

8:24 PM: I feel so bad for Matt Corrente.  It’s gotta be rough being a defenseman and playing forward in your first career game.  He’s wearing number 32, by the way, which looks so weird on a Devils jersey these days.

8:21 PM: Dammit.  I sat Riberio on my fantasy team, hoping we’d shut him down.  He scored, it’s 2-1 Stars, and I don’t even earn fantasy hockey points for it.  WEAK!

8:20 PM: Clarkson goes to the box and feels shame, y’know.  Hooking and all, shameful business.  Devils go to the PK.

8:17 PM: Ooof, BIG rebound off the pads of THE Yann Danis.  Zajac with some good backchecking to prevent an easy goal.  Clarkson about to get a penalty…eventually…if we ever touch the puck again…

8:16 PM: Morrow’s out of the box, Devils power play only gets one shot on goal.

8:15 PM: I am way out of LiveCapping shape.  Sorry.

8:13 PM: Matt Corrente, the young defenseman, makes his NHL debut…as a forward on his first shift.  This is gonna be an interesting game.  Brendan Morrow takes a penalty and the Devils hit the power play.

8:12 PM: Well it didn’t take long to give it back either.  Stephane Robidas with a sinking shot that was probably tipped, and it’s a 1-1 tie.

8:10 PM: That didn’t take long at all.  Assist to Mottau, and possibly someone else too.

8:09 PM: WHAT?!?!  BRIAN ROLSTON…ON A BREAKAWAY…WITH A GOAL?! 1-0 Devils!

8:08 PM: The puck, she hits the ice in Dallas.  Game on, baby.

8:05 PM: Anyone else sick of the Nissan Altima “Love Hurts” commercial yet?  (Side note:  Still not sick of the “The Most Interesting Man In The World” Dos Equis commercials.)

8:02 PM: OH YEAH!  THE Yann Danis is in net tonight!  This could be fun!  La Grenouille!

7:56 PM: So Zubbie’s out (I don’t know what this blog would do if we hadn’t found a second mascot in Andy Greene).  Pelley’s scratched (and not happy about it).  The Devils are dressing seven defensemen: Greene, White, Mottau, Salvador, Fraser, Eckford, and Corrente).

7:46 PM: Why is it that every time I LiveCap, we’re on MSG+2×7/28-(-12)=?

7:45 PM: Okay, so.  I know there’s some stuff I’ve been not doing.  Namely, naming a winner in the ZubbieCounterContest.  I’ll do that at the END of tonight’s game, in this very LiveCap.  That’s what’s called “enticement to stay with me and enjoy the LiveCap.”  (Okay, so you can read it whenever you want, but still.)

7:43 PM: Ha!  I like how they showed a Rod Pelley hit when talking about the Olympics.  That’s as close as you’re ever getting, Roderick.

7:41 PM: OMG2MALIVECAP!  Sorry it’s taken so long to make this happen, but I’m actually sitting in my room, on my computer, at the time of a Devils game, so why the hell not?  Put on a pot of coffee (light & sweet for me, thanks) and join me, will you?

Lemaire touts success of 6-on-5 offense

NEWARK, N.J. — Jacques Lemaire’s radical new 6-on-5 approach to offense is paying dividends early and the New Jersey Devils coach says it won’t be long before other teams begin mimicking his strategy, much like the neutral zone trap in the 1990s.

“I’m amazed no one thought of it earlier,” Lemaire said ahead of Monday night’s game with the Philadelphia Flyers. “Six skaters on the ice at a time. It’s so simple and effective. It’s overpowering.”

The Devils will be vying to tie a league record 10th straight road win to start the season Monday and are riding an 8-game winning streak overall, which Lemaire largely attributes to having more players on the ice than his opposition at any given time.

Lemaire acknowledged that there have been some growing pains to playing the unorthodox style of hockey. The Devils have taken a league leading 647 too many men on the ice bench minors just 18 games into the season.

“Yea, the refs, they don’t really know what to do with it. They’ll come around though,” Lemaire said. “That’s what happens with every new idea though. Soon everyone will be doing it. If that happens, I might have to start throwing another goalie out there. Maybe send Arlette out to sing during penalty kills. There’s a lot of options with this.”

Devils leading scorer Zach Parise said it was tough to get used to a new system and a new coach, but believes the players have really bought into the system.

“It was weird at first,” Parise said. “At first, if you were the extra guy, Jacques would have you kind of hang back near the bench and act like you were talking to [Devils backup goaltender Yann] Danis, you know like you didn’t even realize you were on the ice. Then when the refs weren’t looking we’d just act like we’d been there the whole time.”

The Devils will skate without Patrick Elias on Monday, who is still nursing a bottle over the fact that Martin Brodeur didn’t invite him on his private jet to Lou Lamoriello’s Hall of Fame Induction. Additonally, center Travis Zajac will miss at least six months after farting without leaning and tearing both his MCL and ACLs, further compounding the team’s injury woes.

The team also put out a press release Sunday stating that the ban on Patricia Greuter, who has been repeatedly caught attempting to swap Martin Broduer’s MB30 mask for his old one, remains in effect and have asked Devils fans who see her near any games to report her whereabouts immediately.

Editor’s note: On the off chance anyone took this seriously..don’t. It’s fake. Get a sense of humor.

Good News/Bad News

Good news:  I haven’t been too lazy to post lately, just too busy.  Bad news:  That doesn’t change much this week.

Good news:  The Devils attempt to tie the NHL record for consecutive road wins to start the season tonight in Philadelphia.  Bad news:  The game’s on Versus, so if you have DirecTV (like me), you’re boned (like me).

Good news:  The ZubbieCounterContest voting has officially come to a close!  Bad news:  I’m not gonna have an official winner post ready ’til tomorrow at the earliest.

Good news:  Andy Greene is still awesome, and still equals wins (14-1-0 when the Greene Monster is in the lineup!  Bonkers!)  Bad news:  Well, there is no bad news when it comes to Andy Greene.

Good news:  We may be sneaking in our first LiveCap of the season in the near future.  Bad news:  Probably not ’til Saturday.

In all seriousness, enjoy tonight’s game if you’re not on DirecTV.  If you are, I suggest calling and complaining to both DirecTV and Comcast/Versus while the game’s on.  That’s probably what I’ll be doing, between video edits and paper writing.

Thoughts from Section 209: Devils vs Caps, Nov 14, 2009

You know… it’s funny… I think I’ve grown up… a LOT in the last few years (say what you want and I know you will)… and in that time maybe a little bit, I’ve redefined what being a sports fan is to me … Yeah seeing your team win (regardless of sport)… yeah that’s awesome… but you know what really the best part of being a REAL sports fan… it’s about sitting in the same place with them all and enjoying it… I’ve been real lucky this year…. my little 209 army is growing… and boy we have a FOCUS NOW… simply put… the GREATNESS of Andy Greene…. we have a church and it meets 41 times a year in Newark… COME WORSHIP at the Altar of the GREENE MACHINE!!!! (all that and the Devils 1000th win as a franchise… nice little achievement!!)

the Good:
— the power play… I can barely remember a time when the Devils pp was good for a GOAL A GAME like it’s been the last few weeks… that’s scary good, and hell… always fun to yell EARMUFFS…. FUCK YOU SAM ROSEN!!!!!!!!!!
— Bounce-back… yeah they were down two and looked dead at the start of the game… and yeah they’d come back under Sutter even… but with Sutter it was “beat the vets into the ground” hockey… now it’s Murphy (more on him in the funny), Halischuk.. hell even Colin White with the “seeing eye goal” too… it’s a DIFFERENT… hell BETTER way to come back in a hockey game!! (and this team will benefit greatly from the young guys getting into the mix and REALLY adding to this team!)
— Tim Sestito… you’ve been initiated… thanks to Rob marking out over his assist…. it’s SESTITO SANTANA!! ARRRRIBAA!!!!
— Cory Murphy… yes even you have been saved by the Church of Greene!!! And poor Rob… he made his GF a bet that if Cory Murphy scored a pp goal… he’d buy her his jersey… he assists on the pp goal… and scores at even strength… I say he still owes her one!! Hell when he scored I chanted… HEY…. YOU’RE FUCKED and pointed at him the whole time…. it was funny!
hell even…. Lord Krang *Plays taps for rob*
— I’ll even break the ice and say… mb30 was actually pretty… GOOD… tonight… saw my first HOLY SHIT save of the year… hell other small miracles in life happened… had to throw the Ego a bone eh??

the Bad:
— ZUBBIE COUNTER DENIED… booo on you Colin White!!!!!
— well the first 5 minutes were just HARSH… but once they got past that….
— Holy Shit…. Andrew Peters is so bad he scratches himself when he plays NHL ’10!!
— I really got nothing else here… well aside of no ANDY’S BETTER chant aimed at the clearly lesser of the Green’s!!!
— all the Peanut Butter Poti comments at Tom Poti made me DAMN HUNGRY for a Peanut Butter sandwich…. if I had any in the house!

the Funny:
— Well I had a bad day today before getting to the game… work was slow (and worse.. on a Saturday…) I felt like hell… and I’m wrapping up my second computer job… it’s 430…. I’m ready to go once the AVG installs… THE DUDE PULLS OUT THE PLUG ON THE SURGE PROTECTOR and damn near outs the WHOLE OFFICE *sigh*… least he slipped me $20 and I was out the door by 5!
— I’m all at the game… all relaxed… ate my nachos… all ready for warmups… and then this:
I get stuck with the most complete and total moron by me in warmups:
First he goes “I’m gonna throw this beer on the caps when they come out”…um how are you going to do that from the zamboni entrance??
And then he calls ovechkin as big a pussy as crosby?? Really take your god hoodie and get the fuck out of my arena!!… or better sent out to Anaheim to root for the pond scum as he tries to make more stupid bragger comments to the girl with him (it was so seriously bad I typed out on my phone to the girl next to me “I don’t mean to be rude or a jerk, but this guy could possibly be the stupidest guy on the planet and I want to hurt him!!”… she laughed 😀
— Got my Andy Greene jersey from the NHL Store in the mail on Friday… yay… the problem is this lil “fatass” lost too much weight and the XL Jersey is kinda… gigantic…. and it’s more like I have an Andy Greene SNUGGIE…. more then a damn jersey… but I guess our Andy is snuggie-worthy!!!
— the “Jose… Joseeeeeee” chant at Theodore

(****NEW****) the Andy Greene Section of WORSHIP!!!!:
— Scott Mackie: Andy Greene did not miss that puck, it was part of a grander play that none of us mortals can understand!!
— Scott Mackie: Wow what a pass breakup and block by Greene!!
Rob: is it me or is greene the 2nd coming of Jesus?
No, jesus was the pre-cum of andy sir!!
— Lord Krang: hey, Andy Greene is go great, he even makes his teammates do the impossible. see Murphy, Colin white tonight
— Tammie Hamilton…the caps pbp says the mike green and Andy Greene are not related just so you know………..
** Lord Krang…because the e for excellent at the end of Andy’s name didn’t already tip us off to that…
** Scott Mackie: I think we can all admire having an extra “E” in my life had benefited me again ?
** Tammie Hamilton like tammiE 😉 lol
** Lord Krang i ? this thread
** Scott Mackie…Soooo I was about to make a jets joke, rob’s friend paul goes “hey no talk of pain when andy greene is on the ice”….kick/wham breakaway goal…
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH PARISE!!!!
(Funny how the more homage we paid to the Greene machine the more the WHOLE TEAM was scoring!!)
— Scott Mackie “Andy Greene won the 2005 stanley cup…by himself!!”
And again we make an awesome Greene joke and we score
That’s awesome!!!!!
(see, living proof, thank you facebook!!)
— Josh Burnett: yea, though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i shall fear no evil, for Andy Greene bat the living shit out of it. (we scored again FYI)
— Scott Mackie: Andy Greene is so good that he gets a plus one on pp goals!!!
— Lord Krang Official stats so far: Andy Greene, 0 assists, +3. Mike Green, 2 assists, -1
(Andy Greene is so much better we need not chant, we KNOW)

Well there ya go… damn that was fun again… thanks to all who helped add to the greatness of Andy Green… mass is over… you may now face-check in peace!!!

Thoughts from Section 209: Devils/PondScum, Nov. 11, 2009!

Ahhh… man oh man… Anaheim…. the not so Mighty Ducks, the anger… the hatred… the awful ESPN coverage back in 2003 (oh CMON, you remember it… Gary Thorner botching every name on the Devils roster…. Sergei Bree-land? Oleg Tver-door-sky… Jeff Friesen NO GOAL, THE LIGHT’S NOT ON…puck in the net be damned!!! And how can we ever forget that fast nasty disgusting couple from Anaheim, where the boyfriend knew his woman was the ultimate in fail and told that unhairy mule he was dating that “if the Ducks ever win a Cup I’ll marry you??” (back then the odds on the Red Sox and Cubs breaking their curses was more likely… this was this fuckers way of never having to commit to the land-whale)…. and then they FLUKE their way to the Finals, and the media picks up on the story and they bring TEAM LARDASS INTO NEW JERSEY, take 3-4 seats away from good DEVILS FANS (hell they probably needed a row :p)…. and then as we are about to win OUR CUP…. OUR MOMENT and we have to see this loser have to suck up and propose to that beast??? Oh well, guess the joke’s on him because he’s stuck with that disaster… how’s that working out for ya??)

Oh wow…. it’s almost six years later and I remember EVERY bit of hatred… every SECOND of my Devils fandom being challenged by dickhead ESPN idiocy, Michael Eisner assholery (how did that “we’re in second place parade go fucko??), intolerable ESPN idiocy, and then the DISGRACE of seeing that puffy padded no talent massive overrated butterfly hack goalie crying in his fucking beard as the idiot media in attendance hands him the Conn-solation Symthe trophy in OUR building…. “player most valuable in the playoffs” MY LEFT NUT… he was AWFUL in the Finals, he SUCKED DONKEY BALLS against Dallas, and Mike could have played lying down in the Wild series and gotten three shutouts, that team was DECIMATED with injury and played like 6 games in 9 days including some overtimes too…. so anyway…. fuck Anaheim, the only thing that would have given me more joy to see that puffy padded DOUCHE in net doing the Jiggy Pout each time we scored on him… but he’s too much a pussy to play us ever again!

the Good:
— the LEGEND…. and I do mean LEGEND of Andy Greene is growing and swelling by leaps, bounds and the bandwagon is swelling faster then the Yankee one!! Get on board!!! http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=170038443324 (and that aside he did have two pretty impressive assists last night, and 26 more minutes of goodness… CMON ALL-STAR NOMINATION!!!)
— Speaking of Andy Greene… when Andy Greene passes to David Clarkson even the toe-drag wraparound move equals SCARRR!!! Andy Greene seriously could fix the economy and make me like liberals :p… hell Andy Greene’s so awesome he WILLED the deflection and even made the been playing kinda awful Langenbrunner score!!!!
(and a lil bit more on the Clarkson goal…. as it was happening we were having this discussion:
** Scott Mackie: And a nice discussion of how we can the word clark-a-roonian in a sentence and where t would go…and look a clark-a-roonian toedrag goal!!!
** Steve LaFlamme clark-a-roonie…like a spinaroonie?
** Scott Mackie The clark-a-roonie must be seen to be witnessed!!
— Wow… watching this game.. this Anaheim team is AWFUL… this makes me happy, I should have known this but the Anaheim announcers are total idiots and make the game unwatchable, and this team’s been there what 15 years? And the Kings in the area longer? and they STILL have to hockey 101 and EXPLAIN ICING?? California… such a waste of time!!
— I’d say the penalty kill looked good again, but man the rubber duckies were AWFUL…. and Scott Niedermayer is supposed to be the answer to our offensive issues?? oi to the vey!!!

the Bad:
— one MAJOR annoyance on the night, no I did NOT get to wear my favorite hockey jersey EVER… back story… back in 2003, my GF lived in Dallas… yes she was a Stars fan, but she liked Nieuwendyk and hated the Ducks like I did…. and we both got REALLY sick of the fluke that was JS Guiguere, and we sniped back… we went 50/50 on a Ducks jersey with #35 on it and OVERRATED on the name plate… here was the deal, she got to keep the thing, but I got it sent to me whenever the PondScum came to New Jersey and I get to have fun with my jersey… and go with it… you know how many times I got the jersey?? ONCE… the time before this when they came to town… it was FUN… I enjoyed my jersey… the one time I got to world tour with it…. but that should tell you something… anytime you do something that’s fun… good ol’Heather L. Ramsey has to come in and SQAUSH that fun…”you ruined the mojo of the jersey last time and I ain’t letting you have it”… YOU OWE ME SEVENTY BUCKS THEN BITCH!!!! (and people wonder why I have women issues)…. I mean really… just another promise unkept there, but I’m damn pissed on this one!!!!
— Well some people would think the small crowd last night was a bad sign… I didn’t mind, and it’s NOVEMBER… the Devils never draw shit before Christmas (say what you want this area is too clogged with sports teams)
— boy is the NHL Network behind the curve…. “David Clarkson is growing into a folk hero in New Jersey”… hey mister there is only ONE folk hero in Jersey and it’s ANDY FUCKING GREENE BITCHES … get it right!!!
— Again with the too many on the ice penalties?? REALLY??? Well I think at this point the refs know we’re getting a reputation for it… and now the refs are looking for it a little more… it’s like watching Pronger’s elbows when he comes to town… or measuring butterfly goalies for over-inflated pads and all that good stuff… it just comes with it….
— and it was annoying… with as bad as Hiller looked (and he looked like he rolled out of bed hungover)….and we can’t score AGAIN on the 5 on 3… CMONNNNN….our poor namesake is killing us!!!
— You know it was a bad night for Scott Niedermayer when he has to trip up Rod Pelley!
** Tammie Hamilton: Wonder what Niedermayer child is Mom is voting for now?

the funny:
(strap in … there was some GOOD ONES last night)
— Three things in one two minute swoop as I grab a kosher hot dog before the game….
1. Gotta love that this own arena’s food voucher cards crash the system (season ticket benefits…. oh fuck yeah!)
2. I spy a sestito jersey, that’s fucking hard to the core man!!
3. Dee is smart enough to not ask me to hold her coat when I eat something with mustard on it! (and speaking of… how about that charming discussion about a series of pornos called “mister beaver” ensues….ah, summer memories!!)
— The greatest speech EVER…. so we had some Duck fans from Anaheim out here in 208 (they actually knew what icing was, I thought that forced you to become King or Shark fans but whatever)….and they had their lil Duck Call with them… oh boy I wasn’t in the mood for this… but I ran into Tasha during the intermissions… and she likes all things Duck… go figure?? So I tell her about the Duck Call…. and she tells me something about this… I’m like “You GOTTA come over and tell them this” (see, setting up the joke)…she comes over… gets introduced… walks over to the dude with the Duck Call… “DUDE, I have an issue with your Duck Call!!!”
he’s all ready for a shouting match…. she’s like… no… wait “Your Duck Call is for a Mallard-style Duck, and that’s totally wrong! When the Ducks came into the league they were based on the White Peking Duck, and their calls sounds LIKE THIS *she makes the sound*…. dude you gotta represent right!!!”…. this could have been one of the most amazing comments EVER….
…. and also in an extra moment of funny…lil Nicky walks up to the Duck fans that same period and starts blowing on a faze kazoo in front of them mocking openly their lil Ducky call!!! Could you only imagine Andy Greene for President and Nicky as his running mate?
— hell it reminds me of an old story from 2003… and yes miss Jersey stealer, I was out with her in LA during the summer of 2003 (and people wonder why I hate LA :p)….. and we went to Disney… and you know me.. the WHOLE TIME in there I wore Devils shit all the way… I was in GLOAT and SUCK IT mode to them…. I had fought with 10 different “Ducks fans” the time I was there and I was LOUD about it too…. so we’re walking around on the way out… this guy sees the Devils jersey…. “DUDE!!” He chases us down…”I GOT ONE THING TO SAY TO YOU”…. Heather’s like… awwwww noooo…..he comes out and extends his hand “I’m an LA Kings fan, you dudes saved my summer… THANK YOU for stopping Anaheim!!!” (I guess LA’s not totally bad….)
— So dumb whore looks at us with a WTF for the KILL chant, so I stop and yell ITS FOR A PENALTY KILL, duh!!!(Some people :p)
the look on her face when she turned even more pale on that one… pretty awesome!
** Tammie Hamilton wannabee hockey fans sheesh
— You know… I gotta say for a who cares type game in November that was pretty damn fun wasn’t it???? 🙂

Thoughts from Section 209… Devils vs Islanders: Nov. 6, 2009!

Well that was maybe the most bizarre night of my life… (and I’ve had a LOT of bizarre nights before)…..so from running a gambit of unneeded ex-GF memories…. and one showing up in my Section last night (sometimes it’s NOT good to be famous :p )… to a Cory Murphy GOAL being scored…..holy hell it was a strange night last night…..but I’ll try to get to it all… least we can laugh at my insanity in this fine hockey bastion of bad language and Buffalo-hating douchebags!

the Good:
— WELCOME BACK PATRIK ELIAS!!!!!! And holy hell that deke-willie move he made in the first period… looked like he had been here all along!! (though he’s not playing tonight….)… a secondary benefit on Elias being back, Brian Rolston seemed a LOT more loose and comfortable on the ice (maybe he was doing something John Madden was guilty of and trying to hard to fill in for the guy when doing what you do is enough to do it)
— soo… mb30, 8-4 2.38 gaa and a 91%… not bad…. Danis (I keep wanting to type Denis from that “next coming of Patrick Roy” goalie from Colorado who couldn’t stop a school bus in Tampa or Columbus… I’ll learn.. just keep playing him!!), he’s now 2-0 with a 1.00 gaa and a SICK 96% shots stopped ratio…. I smell goalie controversy 😉
— Andy Greene, Colin White, Mike Mottau and Bryce Salvador are simply CARRYING this team defensively at this point and this really can’t be stated enough… if people heard this was our top 4 a month ago (or under Brent Sutter… no I can’t bash him enough either… we’d have 3 wins right now)… people would be AMAZED we’re where we are… so I don’t wanna hear the “well we only beat the Islanders 2-1… stuff it!!!
— And what better place for this….. now… our moment of Andy Greene, sadly it’s an off-ice moment now…(it added to the weird last night… Cory Murphy was good and Andy wasn’t… I guess seeing all the AHL Talent on the Islanders brought out the best in Murphy and made Andy play down to the competition!)… so I am checking my facebook this morning, if you know the social interview app you know I love it and use it often…..
** Kristen gets asked: “What is Scott Mackie’s idea of a great movie?”
she answers ”Andy Greene and Sylar fighting side by side against the forces of Nathan Petrelli, MB30 and the New York Rangers. Oh, and football.”… which made me reply:
** Scott Mackie wow, if Andy Greene ever swung a lightsaber I might have to have his babies!!!
— since I commented on the Rolston goal… I need to comment on the other goal too….hell I was so disturbed by it… it should have it’s own thread…..first comment was I had to make a facebook comment:”
** Scott Mackie Murphy[1] from pikkachu and pelley!!! Really in 2009?? WTF!!!!!!!
** Lord Krang Despite a little recent success, the Islanders are still the Islanders, for now. This is the proof.
(she did nail it eh?)
my secondary comment was, the only thing missing from this was a sympathy point for Andrew Peters (who according to his dad as a grown adult still skates slower the lil Nicky who’s been on skates all of what, 5 months now?)… I wonder if I keep bashing Peters will I get called more nicer insults by our non-friends in Buffalo… oh boy I can’t wait to find YOU guys when I am there!!!! See unlike them when I go… I can wear jerseys from CHAMPIONSHIP teams!!!!

the Bad:
— Brent Russo…. is there a WORSE rendition of the National Anthem anywhere, outside of William Hung or the other awesomely funny “YOU ARE MY BROTHER” dude from American Idol… don’t make me link a you tube video of…. I will!!
— Looks like Rob Niedermayer is gonna be out sometime with the lower body injury, which means he doesn’t get to board Scott and tell him that mommy said to get traded right now (I wondered about Scott’s heart when he was here… but his ABILITY is unquestioned, even when his passion for the game is in doubt, and we are short a few defenders now….)
— Note to the NHL Referee who screwed this up…. I know he doesn’t play it all the time… but our boy Zubbie is like a FOOT taller then Parise, so when you tag him and send him to the box PLEASE do not pull a Cangelosi and call number NINE for the penalty when Zubbie is NUMBER EIGHT (damn you Rob, this was going right into the Zubbie Counter I wanted you to do)
— there’s really not a lot of bad you can say about this one…. Devils played pretty good here… though no points for Parise which kept the teenage Jonas-type screans (are they still relevant?)…. to a low minimum!

the Funny:
— and do we have it here! I guess I’ll start with this… I have a “fake son” (no not my yet, and before people breath a sigh of relief, my sister has 3 beautiful girls who’s minds I am corrupting and taking over just like I would my own children, so my influence will NOT die with me alone!)…. but anyway… my fake son is much like his dad…. he loves the Cowboys, he’s an arrogant lil ass (though he took growth steroids to get big like the rest of us), and he’s off in Minnesota with his lil internet girlfriend….SEE WHY HE’S MY SON?? So anyway…. my son decides to mouth off about the Devils in the Facebook game status… and I unleashed a comment even I won’t repeat here…. so he comes back with…ummm… “Well Fuck the Giants then??” … and that we can allow and my son is safe from the Chris Benoit treatment when he gets back home!
— I thought about this last night as I was eating in the Devils restaurant (and hey if you play the Islanders… gotta eat some flounder right??? The food was MUCH better then it was last year FYI)… and I do believe it was Joe (yeah one of the “where the hell is he” two-man’ers in limbo right about now)…. he made a comment… well didn’t the Islanders win like 4 in a row coming into tonight… which simply prompted…. “well that’s the glory of the Islanders… they win four in a row, they sit back… they sigh about 1981 and then just simply give up on life again and cry in their crusty and moldy old banners!!”
— Even during the game things were a little out of whack….the cotton candy guy (who must be qutting, getting fired… or knowing this team: getting promoted)… was walking around carrying his wares… and instead of the sales pitch (also on that note, if you’ve never heard “the Candyman” work it to sell his candy, you are missing a show!!)…. he simply mumbles in a “I’m gonna jump off a bridge” tone….. “Get your overpriced food HERE… overpriced cotton candy… who wants some??”…. Dude, you are a hero in a night full of weird-o!
— And thank you Josh for not sitting with us and catching this one:
“Please tell me you saw Pelley diving headfirst into the boards to avoid a too many men penalty? It was quite possibly the greatest thing I’ve seen Rod Pelley do since drawing the double-double high sticking minors. It was like someone checked him into the bench, only that someone was himself.”
— so after the game I get invited to a birthday party of one of my Sun Tavern bartender friends, I figure… why not? Go hang out and have some fun…. get to the place…try to find everyone… go past the wine and beer stand…. and load up on Argentine wine and Coors Light… those who really know, understand how funny and fucked up that is in the same night of having another ex invade my section (and thanks guys… I really needed the “you dated THAT” looks and comments… oh BOY!!)… and nothing like taking the dude’s picture and ten seconds later he falls out of the chair!!! I still owe him for my 36th party last year :p

Well that was fun, albeit wholly BIZARRE all in one… and I am sure I did a lousy job of relaying the bizzarre, but I gotta get to the hockey game Josh is setting up in Woodbridge… and for all you haters… be at Ford’s Field at Noon… and come try to shut me up with a little hockey game…. I DARE YOU :p…. not like I won’t be back with Wednesday with a team I hate like the Rangers… PONDSCUM!!!!!!!