With every sunset…

So, there’s no use in moping forever, right?

That’s what my therapist tells me, at least.

Alas, the boys and I have decided to give 2MA a little makeover. We’ve one again enlisted the wonderful and talented Dustin to give good ol’ 2MA a fresh look. Be on the lookout for a new site design in the coming months, but for now we need YOUR help!

See, Dustin came up with a wonderful logo and banner for us. For this, we owe him babies, ponies, and lots of Skittles. It was a hard bargain, but I think it’s a good deal. Regardless, the boys and I had a little trouble coming up with a new slogan for the website.

This is where you come in.

We need a catchy tag line for our new 2MA banner. Help us out! Email your ideas and suggestions to us right HERE. Keep it simple, keep it short, but keep it awesome! Remember, this needs to fit on our header. The winning slogan will appear on the new 2MA banner. Oh, and ya never know — we may have some other goodies up or sleeves for the winner!

We’ll keep this contest running throughout the playoffs, but act now! We need HELP!!

Oh, it might help to see the new banner, huh? Well then, here ya go:

Dandy, huh?

This is worse than a hangover.

I sit here in my Windy City apartment, fighting back the urge to kick my vibrating fridge, wondering what the heck happened last night.

We were so close.

How does a team go from glory to undeniable shame and defeat in the span of a minute-thirty? No heart? No drive? No courage?

No killer instinct.

Let’s face it, boys and girls, this team could have easily put this game away last night. There were odd man rushes, two-on-ones, heck, a four minute man advantage and — nothin’. Nada. Zero. Zilch.

I could go on, but it hurts my heart too much.

Oh, who are we kidding? My heart was ripped from its casing last night and severed to millions of tiny bleeding pieces by the sharpened skates of 23 men.

It hurts.

I do not think this team didn’t have the guts to get the job done. The Hurricanes were simply the better team. Aside from flashes of brilliance and a jewel of a Game 5, Cam Ward was the better goaltender.

Our defense is mediocre at best — yeah, Havelid, go hide in a ditch somewhere west of the Delaware. You are not welcome in New Jersey anymore.

While our offense kicked it up seven THOUSAND notches this season, guys like Brian Rolston and Bobby Holik don’t hack it. Thank goodness we weren’t subjected to Holik’s obligatory three stupid penalties last night, and while it’s fantastic that Rolston finally got a goal, I’d really like to give another Brian all the credit for that tally. Thank you, Mr. Gionta. Whether your on-ice awareness succeeded or you merely blindly threw the puck towards the boards and it just happened to bounce right to Rolston’s stick — I don’t care. It was awesome and one of the few things I can actually smile about after last night.

What do we do? Fire Sutter? Plead for Brodeur’s retirement? Take the entire defense outside and send them into the depths of Newark, just hoping they won’t return safely?

I’m not sure.

All I know right now is that I’m sitting in an apartment with an annoyingly loud vibrating fridge, overlooking the glowing red of the Sears Tower as Chicagoans rejoice, for their team has made it to the second round and mine hasn’t.

Life just doesn’t seem fair, does it?

Scott Stevens, was that you? (A half-cap, if you will)

11:53 PM ET: A bittersweet moment, but we must give congratulations to Richard H. as he has taken home the 2MA t-shirt. Thanks to all who entered!

10:10 PM ET: What a waste. Season over.

10:08 PM ET:
…and that’s that. Staal fires one past Marty with just seconds left. You’ve gotta be kidding me.

10:07 PM ET:
Devils with the timeout. I’m not sure my heart can handle this.

10:06 PM ET:
Well, we have a minute left. Please do not break my heart, New Jersey.

10:05 PM ET:

10:01 PM ET:
Marty with a purty glove save on Rod Brind’amour. Do I need to bust out the You Go Girl picture? I think I do. Ever since that crap goal Brodeur gave up early in the first, he’s been on FI-YAH.

9:57 PM ET:
Two-on-one, Madden and Whitey. That’s almost as good as a Colin White penalty shot.

9:51 PM ET:
Martin Brodeur is a pretty darn good goalie. Just sayin’. He’s keepin’ the lead for the Devils right now.

9:51 PM ET:
Cam Ward is a pretty darn good goalie. Just sayin’. He’s keepin’ the Canes in it right now.

9:47 PM ET:
Madden with the game on his stick, can’t quite get it high enough on Ward. Consequently, Tuomo Ruutu gets absolutely reamed by Patty Elias. This has not been Ruutu’s night.

9:47 PM ET:

9:46 PM ET:
MARTIN BRODEUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11ONE!1

9:45 PM ET:
Captain-brunner takes a bad penalty…no good. This is a huge kill here. DO IT.

9:38 PM ET:
Madden and Pandolfo on a two-on-one? Wow, I’m having serious flashbacks here.

9:33 PM ET:
So, yeah, normally the Rangers Suck chants annoy the heck outta me, but there’s something so divine about hearing 17,625 fans mocking the failed season of the Blueshirts in unison.

Loves it.

9:32 PM ET:
HOW DID THAT NOT GO IN? Elias, you’re fired.

9:29 PM ET:
Let us all take a moment bow our heads in silence for the Rangers’ 2009 season. Rest in Peace, New York. Rest in Peace.

…Nelson, I need to borrow your laugh right here.

9:15 PM ET: Oh, and thanks to everyone who entered the 2MA t-shirt contest! Winner will be announced at the conclusion of tonight’s contest!

9:13 PM ET: And we’re done with two! Devils with an additional buck-twenty left on the power play going into the third period.  I need a drink.

9:11 PM ET: Atta-boy, Zachy. Good to see Parise back on the ice immediately after getting his cheek ripped open.

9:08 PM ET:
Okay, I was totally kidding about, you know, any injury to Zach Parise. Poor pretty boy takes a stick to the face, draws blood and we’re on a four-minute man advantage. Make Gleason and the Canes pay Black ‘n Red!

9:04 PM ET:

9:02 PM ET:
I’m going to punch Zach Parise in the knee. Keep your stick down holmes! ‘Nother penalty kill for the Devils. Gotta stop taking the penalties.

9:00 PM ET:

8:56 PM ET:
If Facebook had a Does Not Like button, I’d click it for that play. BAD PENALTY CALL for flip’s sakes! Two-man advantage for the wrong team. Huge kill coming up. DO IT BOYZ! ‘Kay, maybe Facebook has taken over my life too.

Speaking of, add us on Facebook! …ah crap. Addicted.

8:50 PM ET: YUS!! POWER PLAY GOAL SUCKAS! 3-2 NEW JERSEY! What a PLAY by Brian Gionta! Amazing awareness, throws it over to Brian Rolston who *gasp* FINALLY GETS A GOAL! Oh my GOSH it’s like it was in the stars…

8:48 PM ET:
Solid shift by Black ‘n Red results in another pee-pee. If I don’t get my power play goal, I’m going to cry.

8:37 PM ET:
Uh…defense? Hello? Tied game. That power play goal would have been lovely, eh? Whatever, Ray Whitney is stupid.

8:36 PM ET:
Why does our power play suck so much?

8:34 PM ET:
Huge pee-pee! …uh…that sounds wrong. I WANT A POWER PLAY GOAL DARN IT.

8:33 PM:
‘Kay, Brendan Shanahan is awesome. Solid two-way play tonight by the 75893-year-old forward.

8:15 PM: PS Jay Pandolfo can grow a playoff beard like no one’s business. Shades of Scott Niedermayer anyone? …lies. That man came out of the womb with a full, furry, fantastic beard.

8:14 PM: Shaky start, solid ending. Good period overall. I like when the defense doesn’t completely suck. I also like when Captain-brunner looks like his old self.



Holy…Johnny O-flippin-duya!

That was the hit of the playoffs right there ladies ‘n gents. I’m pretty sure poor Tuomo is still shakin’ in his skates right now…if he even remembers what skates after that boomer of an open ice hit.


We feel generous.

Okay, so, uh…the Devils need to win tonight, correct?


Tonight is all do-or-die, a position all too familiar to Devils fans over the past few years. Why do our boys play with our hearts so freely?

It may be poetic, but I sure don’t want to see any tragedies tonight. I WANT EPIC BATTLES AND EPIC WINS MOTHERFU….oh..sorry. I got a little carried away there.

Anywhoooz, I’ve decided to be nice today. Do you want to be nice too? I think you do. Here’s what ya do. Send us an e-mail HERE. All ya gotta do is, well, tell us that we’re pretty.

Oh, jokes.

No, seriously. Just e-mail us. One fan at random will win their very own 2MA t-shirt. Entries will be accepted until midway through tonight’s contest, so, uh, ya got a couple hours to get this shizz done. The winner will be announced at the conclusion of tonight’s game.

Please bring Black ‘n Red good luck…they surely need it after that embarrassment of a Game Six.

It’s simple.

I hate clocks.

That is all.

Actually, may I add something? I will.


Now, that is all.

Captain-brunner out at least two games

Contrary to reports, the sky is not falling.

It is true, however, that Jamie Langenbrunner will miss at least the next two games with what the team is calling a “lower body injury.”

Ah, in Lou speak, that means Captain-brunner has suffered the unthinkable — decapitation.

Sorry Jamie.

Well now, this kind of sucks a little bit. The boys really need to get ahead in this series and it’s going to be quite difficult without the immediate services of Mr. Langenbrunner. With the series tied at one-all, Black ‘n Red heads to the land of NASCAR and, uh…crap, I got nothin’. I asked my roommate what she thought of when I said “Carolina” and she said “ocean.”

She fails.

Alas, that’s neither here nor there.

Game Three on Sunday in Raleigh. Expect a Motivation Club post before then. If not, then, well…doesn’t that suck?

…go Devils?


I sense peach fuzz on the chins of sweaty men in hockey pants — that must mean it’s time for another edition of 2MA’s Playoff Recap — THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE DOWNRIGHT RIDICULOUS!

It's just too easy.THE GOOD
Uh, everything? The boys came out swingin’ tonight. Looking like players possessed, Black ‘n Red effortlessly flew across the ice tonight, seemingly man handling the Carolina Hurricanes. Marty wasn’t tested too badly, the defense held up…well…better than it usually does, and Zachy and the boys skated circles around Carolina blue liners all night.

It was a beautiful sight to say the least.

We only got four goals! I will NOT settle for this, New Jersey. Okay, okay — I’m being ridiculous here. I’m pretty sure there were at least 795 scoring opportunities tonight on Cam Ward, and I’m pretty sure Cam was shaking in his skates by the end of the game. Dude had to play pretty darn well to stop the fire tonight.

Yup.New Jersey only took two penalties! ‘Kay, so maybe this isn’t exactly ridiculous, but truth be told — the Devils need to be disciplined against Carolina. They’ve got some guns on that club and, uh, well, the boys don’t exactly have the best penalty kill going right now.  Even better? They held Carolina to very few chance opportunities on the man advantage.

Go team go.

More of the same, I say! Keep the pressure on, continue with solid forechecking and get some more cycling down low to keep Cammy Ward ‘n co spinnin’ dizzy in their helmets. The D needs to continue to step it up — sparkling plays like Mikey Mottau’s steal off of Ward’s misfire out of the zone will make this Devils fan quite happy, and I like being happy.

The Canes are going to be angry out the gate next game. Don’t wait for ’em to make any mistakes, this is a smart team here. Pressure, pressure, pressure.

We got this, Black ‘n Red.

Mike Mottau!!!!!!

Mike Mottau!Mike Mottau!!!!!!
Mike Mottau!!!!!!
Mike Mottau!!!!!!
Mike Mottau!!!!!!
Mike Mottau!!!!!!
Mike Mottau!!!!!!
Mike Mottau!!!!!!
Mike Mottau!!!!!!
Mike Mottau!!!!!!
Mike Mottau!!!!!!
Mike Mottau!!!!!!
Mike Mottau!!!!!!
Mike Mottau!!!!!!

Hey Ma, we’re in the Times!

Thanks goes out to Jeff for giving us a chance to be bumbling idiots over at the NY Times this afternoon.

Josh, Scott, and I took a minute to answer some brief questions about the forthcoming Devils-‘Canes series. We made predictions, we talked Raleigh, we even discussed colors! It surely cannot get better than that, right?

Check us out HERE!

Oh, and it so would have been better if we were allowed to, like, curse…check that, if, uh, Scott was allowed to curse. Yeah. Sorry about the buddy, damn journalism and its ethics ‘n stuff!