I’m sure this priceless piece of information was buried somewhere within the paperwork of Kane’s contract, he just hasn’t learned to read the fine print so early in his NHL career.

Not a gallant way to make a name for yourself in your sport. Unless of course you were going for the whole Carl Everett thing.

Grow up, Mr. Kane.

***

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Thank you, Kristyn, for the inspiration.

Jumping from close-minded ESPN Hockey Analyst right back into the NHL Coaching mix. Turns out you’ll only make it about 15 games into the season.

I guess the ‘Ning couldn’t find any other excuses for their dismal record, given the ridiculous amount of talent on their roster.

Apparently Rick Tocchet is taking over as the Interim head coach. Think the team will turn it around with him behind the bench?

I wouldn’t BET on it… HA! GET IT?!!?!?

I kill me.

Don’t post a picture making fun of Britney Spears and her baby-making-skills on a hockey website.

Like this:

‘cuz, well, apparently when do you that, it causes 16 year olds to become pregnant the next day, like this:

Spears family, we apologize.

Despite being much the talk of the hockey world during recent seasons, Jordan and Eric Staal may have taken a step in the wrong direction. The NHL brothers were among a group of 14 people arrested during a raucous bachelor party for Eric, who is slated to be married in August. The following is an excerpt from Bodog Beat:

“The Cook County Sheriff’s Office said the brothers were among 14 arrested last weekend after authorities received several complaints about “screaming, yelling and playing loud music” at the resort in northeastern Minnesota, about two hours from the Staals’ hometown of Thunder Bay, Ontario.

The sheriff said the group was warned multiple times before finally being ordered to leave the Lutsen Resort and Sea Villas in Lutsen, at which point the men gathered on a nearby highway and “began harassing motorists.” That’s when authorities arrested the group, around 4 a.m. Saturday.

“I didn’t expect it would be any more serious than it is – they’re noise violations,” said Rick Curran, the agent for both players.”

Such good role models!

Scott Hartnell and Kimmo Timonen sure cashed in big time, packing their bags and saying sayonara to the relocation-ready Predators and heading east to the Forsberg-less Flyers.

Oh, and in the process, Hartnell racked up a 6-year deal worth $25.2 mill and Timonen brought in a heafty 6-year, $37.8 mill contract.

That ain’t chump change, folks.

Especially if your name starts with a Todd and ends in a Fedoruk.

Poor guy was down for the count and knocked out cold after getting clocked in the cheek by the Blueshirt Bad-Ass. After being carted off by the Meat Wagon, Fedoruk was later taken to an area hospital where he will stay overnight for observation. Probably gots a concussion, I’d reckon.

The fight, which took place a mere 21 seconds into the game, obviously shook the Flyers up — last place Philly ended up losing 5-0.

Sure, I highly, hiiighly dislike both the Rangers and Flyers, but ya gotta hate seeing any player go down like that, even if it’s the likes of Chris Simon and Todd Bertuzzi. Oh well. Best wishes to Fedoruk on a speedy recovery. And, Todd, word of advice — don’t go for a rematch with Orr…he’ll probably literally kill you next time.

Now wouldn’t that just create some more wonderful press for the league?

2 Man Advantage’s Tip of the Day #4:

Chris Simon, I am talking to you.

Baseball head or not, you may not take a homerun derby swing at Mr. Hollweg.

Go sit in the corner.

There’s a reason why he was placed on waivers today by the Rangers. Sure, the Rangers suck right now too, but in all fairness to our crosstown crappers, Kaspar is terrible.

So, what is our tip then? Basically, I’d like to let the Philadelphia Flyers know that picking up Darius would be an AMAZING acquisition. Seriously. Go for it guys. He’s awesome. He’ll solve all your problems. Hell, even put him in net. It’ll be great.

Trust me.