Hey Look!!!! We gots us a Devils game!!!!

But damn I miss the Olympics already (curling… women’s hockey, and not to mention the fun of the men’s tournament… it was all great, but hey all good things must end, and we’ll get it again in 4 years right??)… I just feel I picked up some momentum from the Olympics (I’d love to say the site did, but it’s painfully obvious at this point that I’m two-man all alone ain’t it?)… and I just wanna keep the flow going here…. but I’m not recapping tonight’s game…. tonight’s my favoritest of bar nights and all…. I ain’t giving that up, and my deal was always the home games :p…. not to mention I feel there is too much me going on here anyway as is…. so I figured I’d remind you of my “Guest Host” concept…. you write it… I post it here… just keep it about the Devils…. hell I don’t care if you write 1200 words saying what a douche I am (a certain ninja turtle fan out there will say I welcome it!)…. but I want a second voice, at least, speaking up on this damn site…. so CMONNNNN!!!!!

However that rant aside, I have almost a year of pent-up anger to shoot off at old coach prune-face in Calgary so I can see me doing some kinda write-up to shoot off on him now ruining my second favorite team as well….. but if you got something to say… holy hell… just SAY IT, I’d say email it to the 2man email…. but… umm…. I don’t think I know the username and password (again if you knew the awkwardness of being handed the keys to the site but I can’t check under the hood or even open the trunk, it’s kinda weird)
so if you want…. email through the facebook site ( http://www.facebook.com/twomanadvantage ) or just [email protected], I tend to check that enough on my cell phone…. so it’s all good…..

And oh yeah… get the hell back out there Paul Martin (and CMON LOU, we need a defenseman!!!)
Let there be NHL Hockey again!

Thoughts from snowed in Roselle Park: USA vs Finland, Olympic Semi-Finals!

Hey looks like they finally got the Canadian girls off the ice (and CMON guys you know it’s hot to see a bunch of hockey girls partying and lighting stogies, screw it if a few are under-age 😉 )…but now it’s time for what everyone wanted to see….the right to fight for the right to wear Olympic gold (and make Kurt Angle jokes all summer… it’s true, oh it’s true!!), you’re all snowed in anyway, so LET’S GET OLYMPIC, eh??

  • How they got here:
  • We mostly know the US Story by now… unless you live in a ditch…. or South America (but she ain’t gonna read this anyway, it’s over 25 words)… so it’s pretty simple… Ryan Miller… timely goals and away they went! The Finns are similar but different, they play a more smothering old-school NJ Devils type of hockey, defense, defense and more defense (but yet no player EVER in Olympic hockey has more points then their own Teemu Selanne)…4 goals allowed in 4 games and 2 shutouts… yeah that’s pretty tight, and Kipper is maybe the best goalie in hockey that no one talks about…. so this should be an epic battle today!!!

  • First Period
  • (I like this way or writing a little better… it adds some flow and the jokes make a bit more sense this way… opinons??)
    — Slow start to the game but loved Ryan Miller coming out and putting a courtesy check on a Finn to clear the puck, I love when goalies do dumb things like I do!…. and just as I talk about dumb shit that I do in goal….

    (1 – 0, USA) Malone[3] (should be Kipper, and Kessel deserves one too… but no one gets one) {2:04}
    Malone chips it out and off goes Kessel to come fetch it….Kipper comes WAY out to get it and makes a TERRIBLE pass that goes right to Malone… sweeps the shot past and it’s one-zip just like that!!

    — and the next few shifts after, the Americans turn up the heat (Rafalski all over the damn place)… not a good sign for the Finns when you NEED to answer the bell after such a gaffe!!
    — and people PLEASE stop texting me that Kipper pulled a Scott… I’d have cleared the zone on the bonehead pass, thanks!!
    — the Finns look VERY nervous here… alot like the US Women did last night….
    — Man the US speed and forecheck is all over the Finns and it drew an interference call…and right off the faceoff!!

    (2 – 0) Parise[3-pp] (Statsny, Rafalski) {6:22}
    AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Rafalski’s shot is blocked, but the Finn who gets a stick on it kicks it right to Statsny who waits and cuts the pass through three people and right on Parise’s stick… holds… flips… TOP SHELF and the Finns are in it and DEEP already!!!!

    — and the Finns now doing their best team Russia impression and US right back to the pp

    (3 – 0) E.Johnson [1-pp] (Pavelski, Malone) {8:36}
    Kipper can’t handle the dump in and punches it to the corner…Malone hustles and gets to it… pops it behind the net… Pavelski to it… throws it in front.. and in American fashion it’s KICK/WHAM/STUNNER!! 3-0 and time out Finland… and maybe bye-bye Kipper!

    — 6 shots on goal…. 3 goals… WOW
    — and keeping with the every other shot thing…

    (4 – 0) Kane[2] (none) {10:08}
    Patrick Kane is dominating the play here….Kane the shot… Brown kicks it back to him…. cuts around everyone… looks.. dump… SCWWWAAAARRRR…. and this is a beatdown!! KIPPER TAPS OUT AND RUNS FOR THE BENCH!!!

    — the only way the US could beat them down so savagely would be simply to invade them and take over :p
    — Enter the Backstrom!!!! And he actually makes a successful save without letting a goal in!!
    — Err nevermind what I said!

    (5 – 0) Kane[3] (Rafalski) {12:31}
    He just walks in, wide open… cuts wide, shoots far side… and I think they can put BOTH goalies in net and we’d still pound them!!

    — I CAN’T KEEP UP!!!!

    (6 – 0) Statsny[1] (Langenbrunner, Parise) {12:46}
    2 goals in 15 seconds… and they had to change goal songs now it’s so ABSURD!!! Parise to the corner… leaves for Langs in the faceoff dot… across to Statsny… and BAM… can … you…. dig… that… SUCKA!!!!!!!! I’m running out of catch-phrases!!!!

    — the Finns would run off the ice and go home right NOW if they could …. really…..’
    — by the way… fuck you NBC, your exclusive crap with the highlights made seeing what happened in the late games impossible and it was a damn near needle in a haystack finding your crappy scoreboard!!!! It’s been annoying me all Olympics and now I can say it!!!
    — Great line from no-longer-cousin Rob… “programming note: the role of the Finnish goalie is now being played by Vessa Toskala”… sure looks it don’t it??? I think Rafalski may shatter Selanne’s scoring record in this game alone!!
    — Shots were 13-4 in the period… and holy God that was just a brutal beatdown!!

  • Second Period
  • — I needed that whole intermission to double check all the goals… and what’s up with no goals in 10 minutes of play?? Really??
    — Rob’s now trying too hard to be funny cause this game is in trash time (though the US is putting the foot off the gas a little soon here)… “who had the worse day… Kipper or Sea World?” Least Kipper only killed himself in this one… Sea World left thousands scarred and I think Finn-Nation is used to this kinda Olympic FAIL
    — Ruttu takes a penalty and a misconduct… at this point it’s for pretending to be a hockey player, totally against the rules on team Finland when medals are on the line 😛

    NEWSFLASH… USA DOESN’T SCORE ON POWER PLAY… they’re partying in the streets in Finland I swear!!!

    — Man if this game was somewhat close I’d be raving about Kessler’s block on that play… at this point I’m just trying not to type for the sake of typing…..
    — It’s the second period and Doc is talking about preggo Dogs and pups… oh boy it’s going to be a SLOW third period…..

  • Third Period
  • — Really ain’t much to say here unless something absurd happens right? Least the US is getting some penalty kill practice here…
    — Ryan Miller pulled for Tim Thomas (who should have played one prelim game if you ask me)… I get the move… it’s classy and to protect the goalie and all…but geesh I have issues doing that with a shutout on the board……
    — uh-oh Bobby Ryan (maybe the one guy who didn’t score today) takes a puck to the noggin… that HAS to hurt… save him for Sunday… he should be alright….
    — See what I mean about the shutout ??

    (6 -1) Mettinen[1] (Lepitsto) {14:46}
    The Finns actually pretend they can play some hockey and pass the puck around…. the long shot comes from
    Jack Johnson tries to block it and it hits his knee (OW) and it kinda goes bullet-time Matrix style from going right to going left…Tim Thomas can do not a damn thing about it on that one….. but still kinda sucks to lose the “zero”… an annoyance at best at this point

    — and that’s gonna do it!!! IMPRESSIVE win for the US… not too much fun to watch once the wolves feasted on the carcass but you can bet Sunday’s gonna be one HELL of a slobberknocker!!!!

    Thoughts from Section 209: Devils vs Island-ddeeerrrrrssss, Nov 28, 2009

    Well that was hardly a contest was it??? Still it’s nice to pound a team like cheap veal that is one, right??? Fret not Islander fans… they should be Kansas City’s problem soon!! Not much time here since we’re going to MSG to see the BU/Cornell game (hey I got it right!) in like an hour… so gotta rip this out!!

    The Good:
    — ROD PELLEY… he’s ANGRY!!! and INTENSE!!! And he’s GONNA PUNCH A BITCH (or is it “Choke a Bitch” I get my hangups confused) but damn he played ANGRY and that fight was most excellent… maybe there’s hope for ya yet Hot-Rod (no matter how much Rob hates you!!)
    — Brian Rolston!! Welcome to the scoresheet… though please… NEVER again do the Lord Krang OMG I SCORED FOR REAL dance of shock ever again!!
    — WE SCORED ON A FIVE ON THREE!!!!!!!! Our namesake is restored!!! And I loved the families RUNNING for the door before another “FUCK YOU SAM ROSEN” ensued!!!! 🙂
    — Bryce Salvador…. 26 minutes… plus 2 and the job of playing with the young guys to give them confidence.. helluva job Bryce!!!!
    — it’s hard on a game like this where just about EVERYONE played good (after of the first period which was gross)… and not a bad effort was to be seen aside of the stiffs who see 4 and 7 minutes of “quality” ice time….so well done for everyone else!!!!

    The Bad:
    — Matt Halischuk had a pretty good game.. but he had one shift of FAIL I need to bring up again…he gets an empty net (being in perfect position off the Pelley rebound shot) and HITS THE POST CLEAN *ugh*, then falls over trying to hit someone at the Islander blue line trying to come back on defense… d’ohhhhhh
    — Taking 5 penalties on the Islanders?? Really?? I guess the pk needed the practice… but cmon guys… a little sloppy!!!
    — Well despite his two points and his +2… it really seemed like Langenbrunner was kinda… sucky out there (no this is not to annoy Kristin or however she spells it :p)… and still he should give those points to Halischuk!
    — HOW THE HELL ARE YOU A MINUS ONE in a game like this?? Oh yeah… you’re Andrew Peters and the Pikachu… BRING BACK SESTITO!!!!!
    — We’re so depleted now that the Rod Pelley bomb that Biron snagged actually looked impressive too…. oiii
    — It was good to get Zharkov his NHL debut and the youth is exciting…. but I can’t remember not noticing a guy who had 5 shots like he did…..

    The Funny:
    — the two best signs from warm-ups:
    ** Greene is better then orange ?
    ** And DIE GOMEZ DIE!!!!!
    (Someone is confused on opponent :p)
    — Also from warm-ups we learned that Nic Bergfors HATES KIDS… he fired a head hunter over the boards (almost) that looked intended for some puck-wanting kids in the front row!!!
    — Guy in DiPietro jersey walks in to 209… looks around… and sits in the first row… guess the bad hip is contagious and doesn’t let ya up the steps eh??
    — That poor kid who had to do that name the song contest….. First of all she’s in a pink jersey (bad enough, WEAR THE TEAM COLORS!!!!), she’s like eight, and then they make her name “single ladies” (really not a song to be rocking to at 8 years old… well unless you’re 28 and still act it…)…and then they give her a gift pack that weighs 800 pounds…cmonnn!!! How the hell was that lil girl gonna carry it???
    — the YOU LOVE CHEAP MEAT chant for anyone who bought dollar hot dogs has to be HEARD to really understood and laughed at people… sorry… but I tried!
    — The best save of the night… was by ME…one of the 209ers was tossing free hot dogs… the guy behind me had two beers in hand and couldn’t hold on to it… it bounced off him and flew past me… *snap-GLOVE SAVE and cover*… I got skills yo!
    — A first ever hat trick within ONE POST… as I was typing….
    And its three …one….new jersey!!!!! (Elias[2-pp… fuck you sam rosen!] (Rolston, Zajac) {10:30} )
    …oops no it aint, 4 – 1!!! (Parise[15]…aahhhhh (Greene… ANDY!!!, Langenbrunner… still sucked today :p) {11:54}
    Wow, 5 – 1…. Will I ever finish this post?? :p (Rolston[8] (Mottau, Bergfors) {12:32} )
    The best two minutes you will ever have fully dressed 🙂
    — After the fifth goal the section breaks out a BIRON SUCKS chant… 30 seconds into the chant he starts taking to the bench mopig the entire way… the whole timing and the visual of the “skate of shame”… most awesome!
    The Almost-going-way-too-far with the Andy Greene Stuff:
    — Seems EVERYONE had something to say with Andy Greene’s assist being STOLEN on the disallowed goal on replay….and they all knew I was gonna take it personally…..

    ** Josh Burnett: Whether it was in or not, you do not tell Andy Greene he has a goal then take it away. Andy Greene does not appreciate such antics.
    ** Deanna Over: Get some lavender candles and some eucalyptus massage oil for later tonight. Perhaps a strong bottle of red, as well. You can only hope he forgets, and it’s your womanly duty to help him along that path.

    — And of course Andy gets one that NO ONE can take away… and…..
    ** Josh Burnett: Devils goal his 15th of the season scored by number 9, ZAAAAACH PAAARIIISSSEEEE (cue high-pitched tween girl screams)
    Assisted by number 6, AAAAANDDYYYY GREEEENEEEE (cue high-pitched Mackie screams)

    One more home game then it’s BUFFALO BOUND!!! Hope the lil bloggers up North are ready!!!!!!! 🙂