Thoughts from Section 209: Devils/PondScum, Nov. 11, 2009!

Ahhh… man oh man… Anaheim…. the not so Mighty Ducks, the anger… the hatred… the awful ESPN coverage back in 2003 (oh CMON, you remember it… Gary Thorner botching every name on the Devils roster…. Sergei Bree-land? Oleg Tver-door-sky… Jeff Friesen NO GOAL, THE LIGHT’S NOT ON…puck in the net be damned!!! And how can we ever forget that fast nasty disgusting couple from Anaheim, where the boyfriend knew his woman was the ultimate in fail and told that unhairy mule he was dating that “if the Ducks ever win a Cup I’ll marry you??” (back then the odds on the Red Sox and Cubs breaking their curses was more likely… this was this fuckers way of never having to commit to the land-whale)…. and then they FLUKE their way to the Finals, and the media picks up on the story and they bring TEAM LARDASS INTO NEW JERSEY, take 3-4 seats away from good DEVILS FANS (hell they probably needed a row :p)…. and then as we are about to win OUR CUP…. OUR MOMENT and we have to see this loser have to suck up and propose to that beast??? Oh well, guess the joke’s on him because he’s stuck with that disaster… how’s that working out for ya??)

Oh wow…. it’s almost six years later and I remember EVERY bit of hatred… every SECOND of my Devils fandom being challenged by dickhead ESPN idiocy, Michael Eisner assholery (how did that “we’re in second place parade go fucko??), intolerable ESPN idiocy, and then the DISGRACE of seeing that puffy padded no talent massive overrated butterfly hack goalie crying in his fucking beard as the idiot media in attendance hands him the Conn-solation Symthe trophy in OUR building…. “player most valuable in the playoffs” MY LEFT NUT… he was AWFUL in the Finals, he SUCKED DONKEY BALLS against Dallas, and Mike could have played lying down in the Wild series and gotten three shutouts, that team was DECIMATED with injury and played like 6 games in 9 days including some overtimes too…. so anyway…. fuck Anaheim, the only thing that would have given me more joy to see that puffy padded DOUCHE in net doing the Jiggy Pout each time we scored on him… but he’s too much a pussy to play us ever again!

the Good:
— the LEGEND…. and I do mean LEGEND of Andy Greene is growing and swelling by leaps, bounds and the bandwagon is swelling faster then the Yankee one!! Get on board!!! http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=170038443324 (and that aside he did have two pretty impressive assists last night, and 26 more minutes of goodness… CMON ALL-STAR NOMINATION!!!)
— Speaking of Andy Greene… when Andy Greene passes to David Clarkson even the toe-drag wraparound move equals SCARRR!!! Andy Greene seriously could fix the economy and make me like liberals :p… hell Andy Greene’s so awesome he WILLED the deflection and even made the been playing kinda awful Langenbrunner score!!!!
(and a lil bit more on the Clarkson goal…. as it was happening we were having this discussion:
** Scott Mackie: And a nice discussion of how we can the word clark-a-roonian in a sentence and where t would go…and look a clark-a-roonian toedrag goal!!!
** Steve LaFlamme clark-a-roonie…like a spinaroonie?
** Scott Mackie The clark-a-roonie must be seen to be witnessed!!
— Wow… watching this game.. this Anaheim team is AWFUL… this makes me happy, I should have known this but the Anaheim announcers are total idiots and make the game unwatchable, and this team’s been there what 15 years? And the Kings in the area longer? and they STILL have to hockey 101 and EXPLAIN ICING?? California… such a waste of time!!
— I’d say the penalty kill looked good again, but man the rubber duckies were AWFUL…. and Scott Niedermayer is supposed to be the answer to our offensive issues?? oi to the vey!!!

the Bad:
— one MAJOR annoyance on the night, no I did NOT get to wear my favorite hockey jersey EVER… back story… back in 2003, my GF lived in Dallas… yes she was a Stars fan, but she liked Nieuwendyk and hated the Ducks like I did…. and we both got REALLY sick of the fluke that was JS Guiguere, and we sniped back… we went 50/50 on a Ducks jersey with #35 on it and OVERRATED on the name plate… here was the deal, she got to keep the thing, but I got it sent to me whenever the PondScum came to New Jersey and I get to have fun with my jersey… and go with it… you know how many times I got the jersey?? ONCE… the time before this when they came to town… it was FUN… I enjoyed my jersey… the one time I got to world tour with it…. but that should tell you something… anytime you do something that’s fun… good ol’Heather L. Ramsey has to come in and SQAUSH that fun…”you ruined the mojo of the jersey last time and I ain’t letting you have it”… YOU OWE ME SEVENTY BUCKS THEN BITCH!!!! (and people wonder why I have women issues)…. I mean really… just another promise unkept there, but I’m damn pissed on this one!!!!
— Well some people would think the small crowd last night was a bad sign… I didn’t mind, and it’s NOVEMBER… the Devils never draw shit before Christmas (say what you want this area is too clogged with sports teams)
— boy is the NHL Network behind the curve…. “David Clarkson is growing into a folk hero in New Jersey”… hey mister there is only ONE folk hero in Jersey and it’s ANDY FUCKING GREENE BITCHES … get it right!!!
— Again with the too many on the ice penalties?? REALLY??? Well I think at this point the refs know we’re getting a reputation for it… and now the refs are looking for it a little more… it’s like watching Pronger’s elbows when he comes to town… or measuring butterfly goalies for over-inflated pads and all that good stuff… it just comes with it….
— and it was annoying… with as bad as Hiller looked (and he looked like he rolled out of bed hungover)….and we can’t score AGAIN on the 5 on 3… CMONNNNN….our poor namesake is killing us!!!
— You know it was a bad night for Scott Niedermayer when he has to trip up Rod Pelley!
** Tammie Hamilton: Wonder what Niedermayer child is Mom is voting for now?

the funny:
(strap in … there was some GOOD ONES last night)
— Three things in one two minute swoop as I grab a kosher hot dog before the game….
1. Gotta love that this own arena’s food voucher cards crash the system (season ticket benefits…. oh fuck yeah!)
2. I spy a sestito jersey, that’s fucking hard to the core man!!
3. Dee is smart enough to not ask me to hold her coat when I eat something with mustard on it! (and speaking of… how about that charming discussion about a series of pornos called “mister beaver” ensues….ah, summer memories!!)
— The greatest speech EVER…. so we had some Duck fans from Anaheim out here in 208 (they actually knew what icing was, I thought that forced you to become King or Shark fans but whatever)….and they had their lil Duck Call with them… oh boy I wasn’t in the mood for this… but I ran into Tasha during the intermissions… and she likes all things Duck… go figure?? So I tell her about the Duck Call…. and she tells me something about this… I’m like “You GOTTA come over and tell them this” (see, setting up the joke)…she comes over… gets introduced… walks over to the dude with the Duck Call… “DUDE, I have an issue with your Duck Call!!!”
he’s all ready for a shouting match…. she’s like… no… wait “Your Duck Call is for a Mallard-style Duck, and that’s totally wrong! When the Ducks came into the league they were based on the White Peking Duck, and their calls sounds LIKE THIS *she makes the sound*…. dude you gotta represent right!!!”…. this could have been one of the most amazing comments EVER….
…. and also in an extra moment of funny…lil Nicky walks up to the Duck fans that same period and starts blowing on a faze kazoo in front of them mocking openly their lil Ducky call!!! Could you only imagine Andy Greene for President and Nicky as his running mate?
— hell it reminds me of an old story from 2003… and yes miss Jersey stealer, I was out with her in LA during the summer of 2003 (and people wonder why I hate LA :p)….. and we went to Disney… and you know me.. the WHOLE TIME in there I wore Devils shit all the way… I was in GLOAT and SUCK IT mode to them…. I had fought with 10 different “Ducks fans” the time I was there and I was LOUD about it too…. so we’re walking around on the way out… this guy sees the Devils jersey…. “DUDE!!” He chases us down…”I GOT ONE THING TO SAY TO YOU”…. Heather’s like… awwwww noooo…..he comes out and extends his hand “I’m an LA Kings fan, you dudes saved my summer… THANK YOU for stopping Anaheim!!!” (I guess LA’s not totally bad….)
— So dumb whore looks at us with a WTF for the KILL chant, so I stop and yell ITS FOR A PENALTY KILL, duh!!!(Some people :p)
the look on her face when she turned even more pale on that one… pretty awesome!
** Tammie Hamilton wannabee hockey fans sheesh
— You know… I gotta say for a who cares type game in November that was pretty damn fun wasn’t it???? 🙂

2 Man Advantage Free Agent Signing Day Happy Fun Time & Box Social 2009!

10:57 PM: Kay, this looks like a good place to end the night. Thanks for tuning in everyone, check back for any (or no?) Devils signings as they happen!  -Josh & Patricia

10:55 PM:
Aaand we have numbers for the Havlat deal. Looks to be six years at $5-million a year.

10:30 PM:
Apparently the Wild are also closing in on Saku Koivu.

10:26 PM:
TSN’s Darren Dreger reports that Havlat and the Wild do have a verbal agreement in place.

10:23 PM:
Unconfirmed report that Martin Havlat has signed with the Minnesota Wild. More to come.

9:58 PM:
Okay folks, we’re going to stay live until 11PM ET and then call it a night. Josh and Patricia are quite tired after a hectic July 1st. Naturally, if anything breaks, we’ll be sure to report it. Thanks for sticking with us tonight!

9:42 PM:
Report out of Montreal indicates Saku Koivu, Alex Tanguay, and Alexei Kovalev will not be re-signed. Lou, GET ON IT. KOIVU. NOW.

9:19 PM: I now dub thee John “Chicago Style” Mad Dog.

9:03 PM:
Confirmed, Madden to the Hawks. One year at $2.75-million.

9:02 PM:
We can confirm that Madden will NOT be returning with the Devils next season.

9:00 PM: John Madden
may have signed with the Chicago Blackhawks. Working on it.

8:57 PM:
The Phoenix Coyotes have signed Jason LaBarbera to a two-year contract. Financial terms undisclosed.

8:53 PM:
Rich Chere is reporting that prospect Jeff Frazee may very will be the backup to Martin Brodeur next season for the Devils. Looks like we might not get to use the Weekes Laser picture anymore…sad face.

8:51 PM:
The Calgary Flames have signed Frederik Sjostrom. Terms undisclosed.

8:47 PM: Chris Neil
has decided to stay in Ottawa after all, re-upping with the Senators for a four-year, $8-million contract.

8:35 PM:
Indeed. Gio has been reunited with Scott Gomez in Habs-land. Five years at $25-million. Uh…Saku, wanna play in Newark?

8:33 PM: Reports indicate Devils winger Brian Gionta has signed with the Montreal Canadiens. Working on confirmation.

8:23 PM: Marian Gaborik
has signed with the New York Rangers  for five years at $37.5-million total. Overpay much? So, let me get this straight. Rangers get rid of Gomez as a salary dump, then spend seven ba-gillion dollars on an oft-injured winger? Genius.

8:07 PM:
Good ol’ Tom Gulitti reports that we might hear within the next few hours where Mr. Brian Gionta will land.  Montreal has been the number one talked about team for the good part of the day.

7:28 PM:
The Columbus Blue Jackets have signed Mathieu Garon to a two-year, $2.4-million deal.

7:19 PM: Jason Strudwick
has re-signed with the Edmonton Oilers for $700,000 over one year.

6:54 PM:
Things seem to have quieted down a bit. We’re still here though, ready to report any free agent signings or trades!

6:24 PM: Samuel Pahlsson
has signed a three-year deal with the Columbus Blue Jackets worth a total of $7.95-million.

6:15 PM: Steve Sullivan
has re-signed with the Nashville Predators. The deal is worth $7.5-million over two years.

6:11 PM:
The Bruins have signed Steve Begin to a one-year, $850,00 contract.

6:01 PM:
Bob McKenzie is reporting the Komisarek deal to be worth five years at $4.5-million a season.

5:55 PM: Mike Komisarek
has signed with the Toronto Maple Leafs. Working on terms.

5:54 PM:
Little bit more info on the Kubina deal: Colin Stewart also goes to the Leafs in exchange for the rights to Tim Stapleton.

5:49 PM: Vernon Fiddler
has signed a two-year deal with the Phoenix Coyotes that will pay him $1.1-million a season. Byron Bitz has also re-signed with the Boston Bruins. Terms not disclosed. The Ottawa Senators have re-signed Mike Brodeur to a one-year, two-way contract.

5:46 PM:
The Minnesota Wild have signed Greg Zanon to a three-year deal worth a total of $5.2 million.

5:42 PM:
Still very quiet in New Jersey. I know one 2MAer who would love to see Saku Koivu inked by Black ‘n Red.

5:36 PM:
Cammalleri is confirmed per Darren Dreger. The Hurricanes have also re-signed Michael Ryan to a two-way deal.

5:28 PM:
We’re hearing five years at $30-million for Cammalleri, while Garnet Exelby is Toronto’s return for the Kubina deal.

5:26 PM:
Several outlets are reporting Mike Cammalleri has signed with the Montreal Canadiens while the Pavel Kubina-to-Atlanta deal has finally gone through. Working on terms for both deals.

5:25 PM:
The Carolina Hurricanes have re-signed Patrick Dwyer to a two year, two-way deal. Blockbuster.

5:11 PM: The San Jose Sharks have re-signed Kent Huskins to a two-year, $3.4-million contract while David Koci has gone to the Colorado Avalanche for a one-year, $575,000 deal.

4:46 PM:
Devils bruiser Mike Rupp has signed with the Pittsburgh Penguins, two years at $825,000 a year.

4:42 PM: Hal Gill
has signed with the Montreal Canadiens  for two years at $4.5-million total while the Florida Panthers have inked Ville Koistinen.

4:40 PM:
The Philadelphia Flyers have signed Ian Laperierre to a three-year deal at $3.5-million.

4:33 PM:
We’re hearing three years at just over a million per season for $3.6-mill total. Good for you, Mr. Clemmensen. Good for you.



4:27 PM:
Unverified reports indicate Devils netminder Scott Clemmensen will be signing with the Florida Panthers for a multi-year deal. Working on confirmation.

4:22 PM: Adam Pardy
re-signs with the Flames.  Meh.

4:12 PM: 2 years, $2.8 million and $3 million for Cole.

4:09 PM: 4 years, $15 million for the Bulin wall, according to TSN.  Cole’s looking at a 2 year deal from Carolina.

4:01 PM: TSN reporting Nikolai Khabibulin to the Oilers, no word on years or dollars.  Erik Cole also said to be re-signing with the Hurricanes.

3:50 PM: Jaroslav Spacek to the Canadiens, three years, $11.5 million according to the Boston Globe.  With every new Canadiens signing, I get a little more hopeful the Devils will wind up with Saku Koivu…

3:42 PM: Signings have dried up over the last half hour or so.  It’s getting kinda boring.

3:28 PM: Hello 2000! Brian Boucher has signed with the Philadelphia Flyers for two years at $925,000 a season.

3:16 PM: Joel Ward
re-signs with Nashville, 2 years, $1.5 million per.  Aaron Rome signs with Vancouver for $550,000.

3:12 PM: Why can’t anyone with an easy name do anything today?  Lukas Krajicek re-signs with the Lightning.  One year deal.  Financials undisclosed so far.

3:08 PM: Scott Niedermeyer re-ups with Anaheim, one year, $6 million + bonuses.  Drats.

3:05 PM: TG says that both Gionta and Shanahan are fielding offers.  Guess no one cares about poor John Madden.

2:54 PM: Donald Brashear to the Rangers.  Me no likey that. Two years, $2.8 million.

2:50 PM: Andy Strickland reports that Mike Knuble‘s signed with Washington, two years $2.8 million per season.  Nothing official on Gio yet.

2:46 PM: Steve Montador signs with Buffalo.  2 years, $1.55 million per.

2:41 PM: Get your height jokes in while you can, boys and girls, rumors are that Gio’s nearing a deal with a new team.

2:39 PM: TSN just listed the Devils in a laundry-list style rundown of teams that may be interested in Scott Niedermeyer.

2:32 PM: Forgive me for the pun I’m about to make, but…Twitter is all a-Twitter that Brian Gionta is apparently a hot commodity this afternoon.

Been nice knowin’ ya, shorty.

2:23 PM: Dwayne Roloson to the Islanders, 2 years, $2.5 million per according to NY Newsday.  Tomas Kopecky to Chicago for two years, financials not yet known.

2:15 PM: Final numbers on Andy Greene’s contract:  Two years, $1.475 million.  $725,000 in year one, $750,000 in year two for a cap hit of $737,500 per year.  All of this info via TG at Fire & Ice.

2:12 PM: 12 years, $62 million for Hossa from Chicago.  Hot diggity the ‘Hawks better hope he’s healthy and not cursed.

2:11 PM: Conkblock himself, Ty Conklin has signed with the Blues, two years, $1.3 million.  Prepare yourselves for an outdoor game, St. Louis.  Ty likes those games.

2:05 PM: Matt Walker to Tampa Bay, four years/$1.7 million per according to TSN.

2:04 PM: Apparently Chicago’s looking to deal Huet now.  I think they don’t have much of a choice.

2:02 PM: Hossa’s a done deal in Chicago, rumored to be TWELVE years at 5 million a year.

2:01 PM: Darren Dreger reports that the Lightning were in the running for Hossa too.  Which just proves that yes, the Lightning really were given cap immunity.

1:56 PM: Craig Anderson, goalie extraordinaire, to Colorado for two years, financial terms undisclosed.

1:47 PM: A big name!  Finally!  TSN is currently reporting that Marian Hossa will make it to the Stanley Cup Final and lose with the Chicago Blackhawks this year!  Terms undisclosed.  Also, David Booth re-signs with Florida for 6 years/$25.5 million.

1:46 PM: Pavel Kubina rumored to be being traded to Atlanta.

1:45 PM: Pierre LeBrun of ESPN says otherwise on the officialness of the Kovalev deal.  So, it’s still rumored.

1:40 PM: Kovalev deal is now official (or not…), he re-ups with Montreal for 2 years, $8.75 million.  Greene’s a two-year deal, still waiting on the dolla dollas.

1:32 PM: It’s a very slow go of it so far.  Only three signings in the first hour and a half.  If I recall correctly, it picked up between 2 and 3PM last year.

1:18 PM: Kovalev re-signing with Montreal is still just a rumor.  Deal has yet to be signed, according to TSN.

1:13 PM: Tough guy Colton Orr has inked a four-year, $4-million contract with the Toronto Maple Leafs.

1:07 PM: Okay Devils fans, we can all breathe easy.  The official Devils Twitter feed reports that the Devils have re-signed Andy Greene.  Thank God that’s taken care of.  Since it’s the Devils, terms are, naturally, undisclosed.

12:59 PM: Rumors flying that Alex Kovalev has re-signed with Les Habs for 2 years and about $8.8 million.  Not confirmed yet, though.

12:49 PM: Radek Dvorak re-ups in Florida.  Two years, $3.4 million. n Ohlund’s deal is indeed frontloaded, Darren Dreger tweets that Mattias will take home $22.5 million of the $24.5 million in the first five years of the deal.  Speaking of tweets, why not follow us?  @2MAblog

12:27 PM: Ohlund terms disclosed:  SEVEN YEARS, $3.75 million per.  Gotta be frontloaded.  Just has to be.

12:15 PM: First signing!  Perennial Devils trade rumor Mattias Ohlund has signed with the Tampa Bay Lightning.  Terms yet to be disclosed.

12:03 PM: No free agents have signed yet.  What’s taking them so long?!  Jerks.

12:00 PM: Let the festivities commence!  The floodgates, they are being opened.

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2MA Tip Of The Day (New & Improved Edition!!)

Career changes are good and all, but here’s one I wouldn’t recommend:

Jumping from close-minded ESPN Hockey Analyst right back into the NHL Coaching mix. Turns out you’ll only make it about 15 games into the season.

I guess the ‘Ning couldn’t find any other excuses for their dismal record, given the ridiculous amount of talent on their roster.

Apparently Rick Tocchet is taking over as the Interim head coach. Think the team will turn it around with him behind the bench?

I wouldn’t BET on it… HA! GET IT?!!?!?

I kill me.

That wasn’t a game, that was a statement.

And thus ends the saga of Brodeur V. Avery, at least for the time being. A 5-0 thrashing by the Devils, with every single player wearing the NJ crest looking spectacular. Check out Scott’s analysis below – even he couldn’t come up with someone to chew out!

As Scott mentioned, Andy Greene looked stellar, putting up two assists and bringing us back to the Andy halcyon days of the 2007 playoffs. Dainus Zubrus clearly is as upset as we are that the Zubbie Counter remains in the cob-webbed cellar of 2MA and is working to change that. Pierre-Luc Letourneau-Leblond had a wicked hit late in the game to go with his first career NHL point. Zach Parise continued his stellar start, adding another goal and assist to his growing point totals. And of course, John Madden finally scored on a fast break-like situation!

Perhaps most importantly though, is that – save for a bad penalty by Clarkson in the first period – the Devils FINALLY figured out how to keep Sean Avery from getting under their collective skin. In fact, I submit that the Devils/Clarkson/Brodeur gave Avery a small dose of his own medicine. Even ESPN took notice of the little shoves and the clearing attempt by Brodeur that whizzed by Avery’s head. The Devils frustrated Avery and made him a non-factor. My only question is why they needed a thirteen-game study session last year to figure it out.

So now, with a 5-1-0 record, we move on to a home-and-home with our dear dear friends, the (still winless) Philadelphia Flyers. This could be fun.