And this is why Scott Clemmensen is better than you

He may be floating around in obscurity somewhere in Massachusetts today, but without Scott Clemmensen, it’s safe to say the New Jersey Devils may not be where they are today…which is, like, the best team in the history of ALL SPORTS.

Oh, too far?

Sorry.

Alas, 2MA would like to extend its most sincere congratulations to the netminder as he has been nominated for the Bill Masteron trophy for for perseverance, sportsmanship and dedication to hockey.

If you ask me, there is no one more deserving than the Clem-meister, but I may be a bit biased.

Eh, screw it. SCOTT CLEMMENSEN IS AWESOME.
He's more awesome than you.

One away from greatness?

It’s been a tough season for Mr. Martin Brodeur.

Taken out by a bum elbow, “MB30″ had to take a back seat to witness his boys claw back from the pits of adversity and skate towards one of the NHL’s best records this season.

Yeah, Marty ain’t used to that.

We’re talking about a netminder who plays 8593 contests out of an 82 game season here. It surely could not have been easy.

Fast forward to March, where the three-time Cup winner is now one win away from shattering Patrick Rooooooooooooy’s record of 551 career wins.

Fancy.

It wasn’t easy, sure, but Marty’s almost there. He has his shot, Tuesday, against the surging Chicago Blackhawks. Cue dramatic orchestra music here.

…wait, what? The Hawks are good this year?

This really is a weird season.

Anyway, the stage is set and the leading roles have been assigned. Starring for the Devils, of course, Brodeur along with his comrades Zach Parise, Patrik Elias, and Jamie Langenbrunner. For the Hawks? Eh, who really cares. It’s Marty’s night, right?

Nine million years in this league, it’s his time to shine, his time to show us what he’s really made of, yadda yadda yadda.

…oh…no. I think all the Vezinas, 40-plus win seasons, and Stanley Cups already proved to us that Marty is the man.

So when Marty laces ‘em up and settles in between the pipes on Tuesday, forget about the numbers and records. We don’t need 552 wins to tell us something we don’t already know.

#30 already is the best.

As the elbow turns…

UPDATE: Can we just give a little shout out to the Newark Star Ledger for quoting us on its website today? Thanks guys, I’m glad our dramatics could be appreciated!

Okay, so let’s all take a breath here.

Yes, it is me, the one and only — coming out of hiding and making an appearance on my lovechild produced with absolutely no involvement of sexy-time activities.

Haven’t you heard, blogs are totally like that nowadays. It’s the Virgin 2MA!

Anyway, that’s neither here nor there.

We have a mess on our hands ladies and gents. Martin Brodeur, as you may recall — he’s that guy that usually plays in net for the Devils — well, he hurt his ‘bow.

(oh snap!)

He dun’ hurt it good, too. The record chaser is out for up to four months. Yes. Four months.

That sound you just heard? That would be the cries of Devils fans everywhere as they step one inch closer to the edge of the ledge, threatening to drop like delicate little flies into oblivion.

Oh, how poetic.

Hey, this is a fantastic time at 2MA. Not that we’re into capitalizing on Mr. Brodeur’s injury in any shape or form, but this totally gives us a chance to break out our arsenal of Kevin Weekes pictures.

Silver lining, how I love thee.

Let’s get fo’ realz for a minute though. Yes, this is a huge blow to an already decimated Devils lineup, but let’s get off that ledge for a minute and give this team a chance. Marty may be out for pretty much the majority of the season at this point, but Weekesie is a capable netminder, right?

RIGHT?! So maybe I need a teeny bit of reassurance myself.

Whatevs. This boys will make do. Can’t win ‘em all. Every dog has its day. Et cetera, et cetera.

It’ll be okay.

…ah, who are we kidding. WE’RE SCREWED.

Excuse me, I need to run off and take my Prozac now. Things might get a little dicey otherwise.