Thoughts from snowed in Roselle Park: USA vs Finland, Olympic Semi-Finals!

Hey looks like they finally got the Canadian girls off the ice (and CMON guys you know it’s hot to see a bunch of hockey girls partying and lighting stogies, screw it if a few are under-age ;) )…but now it’s time for what everyone wanted to see….the right to fight for the right to wear Olympic gold (and make Kurt Angle jokes all summer… it’s true, oh it’s true!!), you’re all snowed in anyway, so LET’S GET OLYMPIC, eh??

  • How they got here:
  • We mostly know the US Story by now… unless you live in a ditch…. or South America (but she ain’t gonna read this anyway, it’s over 25 words)… so it’s pretty simple… Ryan Miller… timely goals and away they went! The Finns are similar but different, they play a more smothering old-school NJ Devils type of hockey, defense, defense and more defense (but yet no player EVER in Olympic hockey has more points then their own Teemu Selanne)…4 goals allowed in 4 games and 2 shutouts… yeah that’s pretty tight, and Kipper is maybe the best goalie in hockey that no one talks about…. so this should be an epic battle today!!!

  • First Period
  • (I like this way or writing a little better… it adds some flow and the jokes make a bit more sense this way… opinons??)
    – Slow start to the game but loved Ryan Miller coming out and putting a courtesy check on a Finn to clear the puck, I love when goalies do dumb things like I do!…. and just as I talk about dumb shit that I do in goal….

    (1 – 0, USA) Malone[3] (should be Kipper, and Kessel deserves one too… but no one gets one) {2:04}
    Malone chips it out and off goes Kessel to come fetch it….Kipper comes WAY out to get it and makes a TERRIBLE pass that goes right to Malone… sweeps the shot past and it’s one-zip just like that!!

    – and the next few shifts after, the Americans turn up the heat (Rafalski all over the damn place)… not a good sign for the Finns when you NEED to answer the bell after such a gaffe!!
    – and people PLEASE stop texting me that Kipper pulled a Scott… I’d have cleared the zone on the bonehead pass, thanks!!
    – the Finns look VERY nervous here… alot like the US Women did last night….
    – Man the US speed and forecheck is all over the Finns and it drew an interference call…and right off the faceoff!!

    (2 – 0) Parise[3-pp] (Statsny, Rafalski) {6:22}
    AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Rafalski’s shot is blocked, but the Finn who gets a stick on it kicks it right to Statsny who waits and cuts the pass through three people and right on Parise’s stick… holds… flips… TOP SHELF and the Finns are in it and DEEP already!!!!

    – and the Finns now doing their best team Russia impression and US right back to the pp

    (3 – 0) E.Johnson [1-pp] (Pavelski, Malone) {8:36}
    Kipper can’t handle the dump in and punches it to the corner…Malone hustles and gets to it… pops it behind the net… Pavelski to it… throws it in front.. and in American fashion it’s KICK/WHAM/STUNNER!! 3-0 and time out Finland… and maybe bye-bye Kipper!

    – 6 shots on goal…. 3 goals… WOW
    – and keeping with the every other shot thing…

    (4 – 0) Kane[2] (none) {10:08}
    Patrick Kane is dominating the play here….Kane the shot… Brown kicks it back to him…. cuts around everyone… looks.. dump… SCWWWAAAARRRR…. and this is a beatdown!! KIPPER TAPS OUT AND RUNS FOR THE BENCH!!!

    – the only way the US could beat them down so savagely would be simply to invade them and take over :p
    – Enter the Backstrom!!!! And he actually makes a successful save without letting a goal in!!
    – Err nevermind what I said!

    (5 – 0) Kane[3] (Rafalski) {12:31}
    He just walks in, wide open… cuts wide, shoots far side… and I think they can put BOTH goalies in net and we’d still pound them!!

    – I CAN’T KEEP UP!!!!

    (6 – 0) Statsny[1] (Langenbrunner, Parise) {12:46}
    2 goals in 15 seconds… and they had to change goal songs now it’s so ABSURD!!! Parise to the corner… leaves for Langs in the faceoff dot… across to Statsny… and BAM… can … you…. dig… that… SUCKA!!!!!!!! I’m running out of catch-phrases!!!!

    – the Finns would run off the ice and go home right NOW if they could …. really…..’
    – by the way… fuck you NBC, your exclusive crap with the highlights made seeing what happened in the late games impossible and it was a damn near needle in a haystack finding your crappy scoreboard!!!! It’s been annoying me all Olympics and now I can say it!!!
    – Great line from no-longer-cousin Rob… “programming note: the role of the Finnish goalie is now being played by Vessa Toskala”… sure looks it don’t it??? I think Rafalski may shatter Selanne’s scoring record in this game alone!!
    – Shots were 13-4 in the period… and holy God that was just a brutal beatdown!!

  • Second Period
  • – I needed that whole intermission to double check all the goals… and what’s up with no goals in 10 minutes of play?? Really??
    – Rob’s now trying too hard to be funny cause this game is in trash time (though the US is putting the foot off the gas a little soon here)… “who had the worse day… Kipper or Sea World?” Least Kipper only killed himself in this one… Sea World left thousands scarred and I think Finn-Nation is used to this kinda Olympic FAIL
    – Ruttu takes a penalty and a misconduct… at this point it’s for pretending to be a hockey player, totally against the rules on team Finland when medals are on the line :P

    NEWSFLASH… USA DOESN’T SCORE ON POWER PLAY… they’re partying in the streets in Finland I swear!!!

    – Man if this game was somewhat close I’d be raving about Kessler’s block on that play… at this point I’m just trying not to type for the sake of typing…..
    – It’s the second period and Doc is talking about preggo Dogs and pups… oh boy it’s going to be a SLOW third period…..

  • Third Period
  • – Really ain’t much to say here unless something absurd happens right? Least the US is getting some penalty kill practice here…
    – Ryan Miller pulled for Tim Thomas (who should have played one prelim game if you ask me)… I get the move… it’s classy and to protect the goalie and all…but geesh I have issues doing that with a shutout on the board……
    – uh-oh Bobby Ryan (maybe the one guy who didn’t score today) takes a puck to the noggin… that HAS to hurt… save him for Sunday… he should be alright….
    – See what I mean about the shutout ??

    (6 -1) Mettinen[1] (Lepitsto) {14:46}
    The Finns actually pretend they can play some hockey and pass the puck around…. the long shot comes from
    Jack Johnson tries to block it and it hits his knee (OW) and it kinda goes bullet-time Matrix style from going right to going left…Tim Thomas can do not a damn thing about it on that one….. but still kinda sucks to lose the “zero”… an annoyance at best at this point

    – and that’s gonna do it!!! IMPRESSIVE win for the US… not too much fun to watch once the wolves feasted on the carcass but you can bet Sunday’s gonna be one HELL of a slobberknocker!!!!

    IT’S A TRAP!

    Jacques Lemaire, to the surprise of absolutely no one who follows hockey at all, is the new head coach of the Devils.  God help us all.

    I’m going to give this a month or two before deciding whether it’s a bad move or not, but it doesn’t feel good right now. Lemaire is terribly old-school, and the Devils were finally turning into a strong forechecking team, and a pretty exciting one at that.

    On the other hand, Lemaire, while successful with the Wild, wasn’t THAT successful, and he’s gotta know that at his age (64 in September), this is his last shot to prove that he can win in the new NHL. Maybe he can change. Probably not, but stranger things have happened.

    Hey, at least Brian Rolston can be counted on for a good chunk of goals this year. It was under Lemaire that he scored 30+ per season for three years before signing with the Devils last year.

    For those wondering, Lemaire brings Mario Tremblay with him as assistant coach. The Devils retain Tommy Albelin, and Johnny MacLean moves down to Lowell as the new head coach there. Congrats to Johnny Mac, as this, I think, essentially guarantees him the Devils head coaching job in two years.

    It’s definitely a decision that leaves us much to discuss for the rest of the summer. Your thoughts, ladies and gentlemen?