Thoughts from Section 209: Devils vs Panthers 1/20/2009

January 20th already?? Holy Shit where does it go??? Well 2 and a half hours kinda slowed down today…. it wasn’t exciting… it wasn’t 96 shots on goal level epic…. but it was a win and a needed (with some spolied asshats Devils fans out who OMG WE LOST THREE IN A ROW were contemplating suicide… for Christ’s Sake… try being a Buffalo fan then whine about Panic… and Chan Gailey… ouch), but the Devils needed some rest and a willing opponent and they certainly got that in the Florida Panthers who looked like the Benoit Family Show on Ice tonight :p

the Good:
— Jacques Lemaire… he has the pulse of this team…. he knows they’re tired and it showed on the road trip, and this team needs a break, but the schedule isn’t giving them one… so he’s cutting back on the practices and even cancelled the morning skate:
“Go back to bed,” Lemaire said…. “They looked different,” Lemaire explained. “What’s wrong? I don’t know. That’s the million dollar question, what’s going on. A lot of things are not going right. It’s how to fix it.” (from my point of view some time off was a good way to do it!!)
— Nick Palmeri… he was in the good spots on the ice (gotta love a rookie who gives the goalie the ol’stinkface during the pp)… he was in the nasty areas (something the Devils need more of)… and he set up the Devils winning goal… he played good and I was happy to see him get his just rewards today (which is funny because if you remember WAY back in the rookie game I blasted him cause he just sucked with Tedenby)… but like that game this was only one game and he DID whiff on an empty net pp-rebound…. so no one’s perfect but a damn good debut!! (Patrick Davis was far more forgettable and served his purpose in making Rod Pelley be PIST… or perturbed if you have problems with me stealing the butchery of the Enlgish Language and making it good again :p).. and it was good to see Palmeri get rewarded with some first line ice time (and his in your fact style will make room for Zach and Zajac!)
— Dean McAmmond… he had a nice game, but man that blocked shot and beat the clock empty net goal was again a thing of pretty and good to see hard work rewarded like that!!!
— Colin White…. had a good smart game and two great knock em down hits in open ice… was good to see…. he covered alot of….ummm… gaffes (I’ll be generous)…..of Mike Mottau tonight, who was certainly gonna play his way out of the lineup this way…
— Also… how could I miss on my Andy?? <3 … good smart solid game… and a wicked "how do you do" shot that went through everyone and Vokun was lucky to get a leg on!
— the penalty kill…. barely had time to yell KILL KILL KILL…..not that anyone was paying attention anyway…..

the Bad:
— this game was kinda sleepy and lifeless at points… but hey you win ugly to get out of a funk (and the morbid douchebag side of me wanted to see more spoiled Devil-bitch-fan paranoia…. oh well)
— the power play is STILL O fer Oh-Ten… that's not good… it came close, and I loved the puck possession and most of the pp time was in the Florida End… it's getting there and Palmeri getting his shit dirty was a good thing too…..
— 27 games in a row for mb30?? Really??? I understand he played good and we go through this shit every year… but it's still an Olympic Year… and a night off Mentally…. it's a good thing now and then….
— And yeah Vokun played well too… but one goal?? That's still not gonna cut it more often then not…. again it's a win and you take it… but there's gonna be a lotta ugly nights with Elias out (again)

the Funny:
— it was quite amusing to see after some big saves and nice play both way to see the only goal scored on the goalie was a simple faceoff dot blast that gets a stick and just squeezes by Vaokun… go figure!!
— Well where to start tonight??
The crowd was kinda dead and we were too… though Patrick Davis blowing a tire and damn near smashing into Pando was funny… there wasn't a lot tonight… (hell even poor Clutch was in hiding tonight!!) but we got two gems for ya:
— Me and her LordShip went to the restaurant tonight to use my buy one get one coupon (was kinda nice to have something good given to me as a STH that wasn't demanded or bitched for by the people who buy tickets from me :p)… anyway… so for some reason the main area was "all reserved" (for a Panther game?? CMON)… so we got stuck in the bar area… by the kitchen… this was a good thing… there was a lil black woman yelling out some GEMS (I called her the kitchen Nazi, her job was to crack the whip and make all the cooks… well… cook and do their job)… and she let out some gems I tell ya!!
** "Yo these meatballs need a sista!!"
** "oh shit I needed a triplet"
** "Get this sista a finger and NOW!!!"
(I do recommend the bar seats for this amusement alone!)
— One thing that can't be left out was the standard badgering of Tasha (birthday tomorrow or not) and her Parise/Bergfors curse of not being able to see them score goals when she watches (and no assists don't count, i tried that rationalization… we know how well that works on women :-)… right?)… so we took turns trying to screen HER on the power play… the things we do for team and her sitting in the fetal position trying to cover her eyes… good stuff!! And it did lead to this semi-disgusting line:
Tasha: I wanna be in the middle of a Parise/Bergfors sandwich
Me: Well then ya might wanna start learning how to take faceoffs!!
(not exactly the way she wants the cream filling from a twisted oreo cookie)

…. well that was a nice easy way to shake off the hockey writing rust and get back to shit… back at it Friday Night!!!!

Devils… Panthers (Game 4-10/10/2009)… thoughts from the Gas Light grill?

I felt a little road trip in me… and doing all 82 games just ain’t gonna happen ever again in my life but I did want to practice a little for when I take my politically incorrect thoughts on the road for Buffalo… and friend wanted to go out… it all.. just… fell… into…. place… so after the fact from the Gas Light Grill in South Orange (thank you Mike Jeckel for intro’ing me to the joint)…. here we go!! But first… a much-advertised public statement… almost a “State of the Union” or at least “the State of the Devils From Section 209” (get yo popcorn ready!)

It has come to our attention that …. certain people… over at NJDevs… Facebook… and of course… our flagship publisher…. two man advantage….complaints… emails… heck, golly gee even unhappy comments all over that place. Seems there are certain “standards and practices” people are supposed to hold up to when they recap hockey games with hearts on their sleeve….

So in response to this, us here (ok… well just ME… no one else is posting :p)..have come to an agreement… during our pre-game and the “bad” comment… we will only use the words… “Ass”…. “Damn”… “Hell” (of course we’ll use hell… WE’RE THE FUCKING DEVILS… aw shit watch your godamn mouth Scott… holy shit… I forget how easy it is to fucking curse…. hey… knock it off!!… well fuck me!!!!) … and “bitch” (in reference to our goaltender or crazy Drunks pointed out by Lil Nicky!)…. we will NEVER however… use the words “shit… fuck…. god damn…. Jesus Christ (again… we’re the Devils… not the Arizona Cardinals… THEY love Jesus!).. faggit (then again I never used that… I’d just called shit *oops* as simply “gay”…

As for the “Good” segment of our writeups…. no will we use racial or sexual slurs… though Kevin Weekes shall still be referred to as “our homeboy”… also in the reference of my clusterfuc…. ahhh… gotcha this time…. I will try to make less ex-GF references in my writing (why not since I have new victims to bag)….We also promise to make less jokes about recently dead celebrities (though Billy Mays STILL says YOU WILL SHUT YOUR BITCH WHORE MOUTH WHEN I’M RECAPPING!!!)

During the ever-popular “funny” segments….since you can’t hold back funny… your ass is on your own!! Sorry about yo’damn luck!!!!

Gotta love when WWE 24/7 puts something timely on that I can turn into my own hockey thing, right?? Anyway……WE GOT A WINNING STREAK!! Gimme a fuc…errr… whoops… GOLLY GEE YES THAT’S SUPER!!!!

the Lines:
Parise-Zajac-Langs, Pandolfo-Niedermommy-Rolston
Halischuk-Zubrus-Bergfors, PL^3-Pelley-Clarkson

Martin-Oduya, White-Mottau, Salvador-Greene (the offense machine!)

the Good:
— Travis Zajac… seriously… he’s on the cusp of going from “good” to STAR, and its been great to see! (17 shots….COMBINED for that line… that’s almost PG-13 language worthy!!)
— Also liked seeing our little, Forsberg-spelled-sideways, Nic Bergfors getting some shots at the net tonight… damn I’d love more points from him (IS IT OK TO SAY DAMN, DAD??)
— Rob Niedermommy… again the right place at the right time and the right way (you can say that about David Clarkson’s goal too… it’s those little things they do not they didn’t do under Captain Quitter)
— Add some love for Clarkson too.. gets stuck in the abyss with Pelley and PL^3 and still finds ways to add to the team!!
— A WIN IN REGULATION!!! Praise Jesus… after all it IS Sunday now :p
— the shot total pro-Devils was simply awesome and it was good to see them overwhelm a lesser team that was beat down the night before so badly and not let them catch themselves…..
— the Andy Greene love is even spilling over on to NJDevs… I am getting really close to being able to said I told you again, just like I did with Johnny Oduya… respect muh AUTHORITYYYY!!!!!

the Bad:
— the shot total while being pro-Devils and owning most of this game, this game in NO WAY should have only been 3-2
— maybe I’m nitpicking and I expect the “best in the world” to always square to the puck, but the amount of net he left open on that second goal was just atrocious… and he only did make 19 saves… guess we’ll see when we travel to see the Ovenchicken eh?
— Well the penalty killing failed again (least they got three out of four right)
— and yeah Zajac’s been awesome… but man that gaffe with the gimme from Langs at point blank… that’s not cool…..
— PL^3 didn’t hit ONE SINGLE PERSON… WTF??? That is of course… what the FUDGE mister…. take those dirty thoughts elsewhere bucko!!! He’s still better then Peters though

the Funny:
— how many phone books did Cangelosi need to actually sit at eye level with David Clarkson in that interview??? Also introducing more people to the term Five-head (for his overdone crainal region)… and simply calling him a tiny troll gnome… that was also gratifying!!
— Seeing a really large woman (I admit I am no tiny fella but I am in the best shape I’ve been in maybe ever and still working to improve… while this woman’s thyroid excuse went out with the Regan years)… trying to sit in that one and a half chair… and the typical rude/doesn’t give a DARNED PEANUT about anyone else mister…. come over and squeeze her tiny self into the chair, making Orca-ette sit in one chair… damn it’s always funny when it ain’t you!
— Almost starting a race riot as the one black yelled YEAH DEVILS as we left and his white friend using language a I DARE NOT REPEAT… or I will get a scolding mister (don’t worry I’ll curse again on Friday…. gotta show how DUMB the bit it until it bleeds first!) going back… HELLS NO ISLANDERS BABY!!! I just didn’t wanna be there when the guns came out!
— and sorry girls… I seen it enough times… the “I’m gonna be really cute and pouty blonde” technique… I seen it WAY too many times in my life… it has ZERO effect on me (past, present or future women… be warned!)

Mo-Town, Mo’ Problems.

With the dawn of each new NHL season, I wait very impatiently for the schedule to be released. When it finally is, I plan which games I want to attend, whether or not I’ll take a road trip, and other fun and extremely expensive ordeals. Then there is that game… that one single game that you want more than any other one. The one that makes you more wide-eyed than an all-night eight-ball-induced hallucination. That’s the way I always feel when I see the Devils squaring off with the Detroit Red Wings. So, let’s take a look at what tonight’s contest has to offer…

Ever since that fateful day back in 1995 the Devils have enjoyed very limited success against the fellas from mo-town. Winless at “The Joe” since 1996, the Devils will take to the ice against the defending Stanley Cup Champions without the likes of Brian Rolston, Bobby Holik, Andy Greene, Paul Martin, and world-class goaltender Martin Brodeur.

Wait… I was looking forward to this?!

Tonight’s contest had the potential to be one of the most entertaining showdowns of the entire season. Instead, it is shaping up more and more to be a crime scene with the victim being the Devils’ pride. However, I’m doing every little bit that I can to remain optimistic… and who else to supply a little pep than Devils captain Jamie Langenbrunner. Langs issued the following statement in the Nov. 6 edition of The Bergen Record:

“We’re still a very good team and if anything it’s a chance for us to prove that it isn’t just him [Brodeur] like all of you always write.”

That’s exactly the mentality that I’ve had since I learned that Marty will be out for an extended period of time. This isn’t just a period of survival for the Devils, it’s a chance for them to silence the critics once and for all. It’s a chance for the team to show everyone what we, the fans, have known all along. That the Devils win because they are the Devils. The fans are united, and apparently (and more importantly) so are the players.

With enough emotion and heart, tonight could still be one to look back on come the end of the season. Then again, it could also give us flashbacks from those Devils teams of the ’80s.

I’ve officially tweaked myself out. Is anyone else scared sh!tless?!

Hold On To Your Horns.

So the boys have completed their first road trip of the season and are returning home with a very respectable 4-1-0 record. The trend thus far seems to be thousands of shots on goal with minimal results on the scoreboard, but apparently that’s all that’s been needed. Marty has been Marty, and the D has been…well, the D. You know — giving us the occasional coronary every now and then, nothing out of the ordinary.

Oh, right — and we’ve lost Bobby Holik and Brian Rolston. Yup, Both of them. Rolston probably for a month or two.

I really don’t know what to make of this situation. It’s kind of funny — in a cosmic sort of way. Ya know, we bring back two veterans from the past and instantly our team is somewhat of a threat again. We get all amped up about it, and now they’re both sidelined less than three weeks into the season. On the other hand, there’s the fact that neither one of them has really had much of an impact on the outcome of the first five games, aside from Rolston’s game-winner in Atlanta.

As a Devils fan, I almost feel contractually obligated to round up my fellow fans and organize a cult-like mass suicide. But, for some reason or another, I’m still optimistic that the favorable results will continue. (Maybe that’s you-know-who’s way of telling me to stop drinking.)

This year’s Black & Red squad is a deeper one than last year’s, and I think we will be reminded of that over the next month or so. For instance, the group is definitely younger. Vrana is much more favorable to have in the lineup than Sergei Brylin; and on the same side of things I’d rather have Leblond playing over Aaron Asham. (Leblond has been called up to fill in for Holik for Wednesday’s game vs. Dallas.) Are they going to be easy replacements for Holik & Rolston? No. Hell No. But I think they will fit in nicely with the mold of the team and continue to help do the little things right. After all, that’s what has gotten this team to where they are now.

At one point or another, every team in the NHL will be going through a scenario similar to this. There will be other star-players that will go down and other rookies will get their shots with the big boys. I guess a positive to take out of this would be the fact that we’re only five games into the season, we have a .800 winning percentage, and six of the next seven will be home games for New Jersey. Not to mention the upcoming opposition hasn’t exactly been making much noise thus far.

The next several weeks will be very telling of the dynamic and character of this year’s New Jersey Devils. I’m tempted to watch with my hands half-covering my eyes, like it’s a badly-written television drama.

I guess what I’m trying to say is… Don’t hit that panic button just yet. I think you will be pleasantly surprised with the way the team will perform in the absence of Rolston & Frankenstein.

If, two weeks from now, all hope seems to be lost…just be happy it’s not the last week of March.