Thoughts from Section 209: Devils vs Penguins: 12/30/2009

Wow…. the last recap of 2009….(and sadly the end of the “REALLY??? …. in 2009???” comeback…. *sigh* we’ll miss you, but not the jean shorts that inspired them…..)….and what better way to end a decade, then a game like THIS??? Playoff crowd, semi-playoff atmosphere….playoff intensity on the ice… damn it gets ya excited for April doesn’t it??? And oh yeah.. ANOTHER SHUTOUT for those smug douche Pitt announcers to call right… ahhh it’s all good!!!!!

the Good:
— Before I start here (and yes this counts as good)… my friend Rob runs a charity hockey tournament in Woodbridge, NJ.. usually about every six months… and game 1 was today (my team won, and yes this is half the reason I am mentioning it)… and it is a good cause… so if you’re not doing anything tomorrow about 12:30… stop by… heckle… boo… cheer… just DONATE and do whatever the hell ya want… there’s a chance our little Winter Classic, may have some SNOW late in the 3rd Period http://www.fordscup.com/ has all the information…. come see me chase the all-time wins record (and try to lower the lowest GAA in the event’s history.. and pad my goalie scoring stats!)
— NO ANDREW PETERS!!! Instead of skating laps he should be made to tie jerseys down until his hands bleed!!!!! At least he admitted his own idiocy tonight!!!
— it’s funny, Jacques Lemaire bags on Nick Bergfors… and when he does, the fan base FREAKS OUT in fear that Lemaire is gonna “Brent Sutter” the kid… and well NO… there’s no exercise bikes involved, and Lemaire has the faith in his teachings to LET his rookies get REAL ICE TIME… and you know.. he like does that thing called COACHING and GETS THE MOST FROM HIS PLAYERS… and every time he bags on Bergofrs, the kid ANSWERS AND PERFORMS… so again, get off Jacques’ nuts… he shits more about hockey then you know in your little life!! (and 20 minutes of ice time, and he was awesome with Zajac and Parise)
— mb30.. holy shit were you GOOD tonight…. as the game got going more… SO DID YOU… and I bag on you… but this one was most credit worthy (and so was the slash at Rupp’s ankles!!), I just hope this playoff-like effort shows up for a long playoff run, one more time… (please… I might even use your name again!)
— ONE minor penalty taken and it was at the end of the game… that’s a good thing and discipline is HUGE when you play a team that can kill you on the pp like they can (I don’t care what their stats are I do NOT want to be the team that wakes them up and fixes them!)
— Oh Roderick Pelley… how we have a love/hate with you (and ok it’s hilarious to bag on Rob who hates him because he has Sesitito-envy)…. I was going to comment on him tonight… but our Lordship of Krang NAILED this one… so I let her speak:
Poor Pelley… i know he sucks, but he tries so hard and his heart is in the right place. AND he know how to dress himself! Zharky and Clarky have to go SOMEWHERE, and do you want Pelley and Pandolfo on the ice at the same time? hey, i say just enjoy the amusement from the line. Pelley gets a little more practice at center (and with some good players to support him), and it’s not like that’ll be a line for very long anyway! we may never see it again, in fact! (we kinda put this in the GOOD section so he doesn’t GET PIST at us and board us!)

the Bad:
— well I gotta say it… no matter how retarded good Brent Johnson was (and he WAS tonight)…. you HAVE to get more then one fluke goal past him in the game… that’s a kinda worrisome sight….
— Patrik Elias… is he hurt??? He seems slow out there…. is something else wrong?? He DID get 17 minutes tonight… but no shots and he just looked slow and kinda dead out there… something to be worried about… Elias and Rolston are gonna be needed to take the scoring pressure off the top line when the big Silver Cup Tournament begins in April….
— the power play stunk and ANOTHER 5 on 3 was wasted (you know the league knows your pp sucks when they put Cyndy Crosby in the damn box to put you up 5 on 3 and let the Golden Brat cry in the box for 2:00)
— *sigh* Clarkson got hurt again dammit…..Devils right wing David Clarkson reinjured his fractured right leg in tonight’s 2-0 over Pittsburgh and did not accompany the team to Chicago for Thursday’s game, a source said. Instead, Clarkson is to have his leg examined again by team doctors Thursday in New Jersey. Tonight’s game was just his second game back after missing 13 contests with a fractured right fibula. He was injured initially when he blocked a shot by Boston’s Zdeno Chara on Nov. 27.

the Funny:
— Well I had a unique group with me tonight… her Lordship as she does for all Wednesday Games….. Returning again “cover your eyes so Bergfors and Parise can score” aka Tasha (and man it was fun to yell all game long… GO TO THE BATHROOM, we need a Bergfors goal… yes I know he scored tonight… but someone was stuck on the escalator and never saw the puck hit the net… hell I had the row behind her cheering for it :)… and my 3rd… one of the people who’s known me the longest…holy shit was there in 1995 when the old CRASHER Line took off…. yeup… ex-fiancee #2 (and to be honest each and every one of you over her a debt of gratitude for getting me the HELL away from the first one :p)… and again she deserves credit…for an opposing team fan she got NO SHIT from the section….I guess a little coach purse incident kinda squashed that…..but still it’s kinda odd to hear the Beyonce song “single girls”… when you’re sitting with a girl you DID put a ring on it with :p
— Now for a little facebook, stream of conscious conversation……
** Me: Clarkaround sighting!!!
** Kristyn Holleran: how many times has the Clarkaround actually worked lol
** Me: How many goals does Clarkson have? Divide by two for toe-drags!
** Kristyn Holleran: i really dislike mike rupp
** Me: I like rupp, now that he’s in the other jersey!
** Chris McCabe: I like Rupp simply because he can score a hat trick against the Rangers….
** Kristyn Holleran: i’m just bitter than he was useless with us and is now 4th in the NHLfor shot % lol
** Me: Playing with 87 and 71 will do that :p
** Barry Meikle: Of course by useless you mean, scored the 2003 Cup winning goal. Good enough for me.
** Me: Dude if ya wanna be a one game wonder
THAT was the game of choice!
— and I’d be a fool to leave out Pete serenading Clutch to some creepy kinda love song (and even his voice failed him in the try), and not to mention the near-riot cause Pete stepped on a $900 coach-bag (allegedly)… one thing I learned this year… if you’re dumb and whipped enough to buy a girl THAT kinda stupid expensive gift… well then you better be all ready to pump yer fist and go all Guido Beach to defend that bag (really, you coulda had season tickets for THAT much)… but really… treat it like an autographed jersey of your favorite player… DON’T bring it to the hockey game… really, you’re just asking for some idiot to spill beer on it (and then you get stuck in the middle of the fight… and oi vey… whatta mess!!)

Man it was a good, but scattered night… and one more time… CLOSE YOUR EYES TASHA WE NEED A GOAL!!! (some people are just NOT team players I tell ya :p)… fun times… fun times… Everyone have a GREAT and smart New Year!! Back at you with a month in Review probably on Saturday!!!!

Mr. Shutout

I’m a busy, busy man for the next week and a half.  My posts will be few and far between.  But I have the time for this.  There’s ALWAYS time for the Wonka picture.

Martin Brodeur, to the Buffalo Sabres, as he’s said to 102 others before them:

Marty, you’re the man.  ‘Grats, sir.

Hurricanes @ Devils SORTA-CAP!

9:29 PM: Game over.  I can’t believe this, I thought this team was too good this year for the annual March swoon, but…I don’t know.  2-1 Hurricanes.  Good thing I only did a half-assed Cap tonight.  Goodnight.

9:28 PM: 10 seconds left, Devils on the offensive zone faceoff.

9:26 PM: Less than a minute to go and the Devils pull the goalie.  That missed penalty is brutal, Langs right next to the Carolina net in a goalmouth scramble.  Just brutal.  Timeout Devils.

9:24 PM: Scramble in the goal month and we can’t buy a penalty, despite Captainbrunner getting his feet taken out from under him.  I think that’s probably the end of the game for us now.

9:22 PM: Oh for eff’s sake.  Rutuu pounds home a rebound and it’s 2-1 Hurricanes.  C’mon now, this is sad.

9:21 PM: Paul Martin takes some sort of penalty.  Hooking, I guess.  Four minutes left in the game.  Gulp.

9:15 PM: Goddammit.  Clarkson can’t clear it, and eventually Samsonov bangs home a rebound.  1-1 game, and we can stop holding our collective breath for shutout 102 now.  Sad.

9:08 PM: If Zubbie’s name was Scott Stevens, there would have been a Hurricane on the ice that you’d need a ShamWow to mop up.  Alas, Zubbie ain’t Scotty, and the open ice hit didn’t even knock the other guy down.

9:00 PM: Mike Rupp takes a high sticking penalty.  Rats.

8:55 PM: That woulda been a nice breakaway if anyone but Bobby Holik were the one sprung on it.  Instead of being a breakaway, though, it became more of a one-on-two slapshot-into-the-goalie’s-crest type deal.  Sigh.

8:36 PM: Second period, over.  Remains 1-0 Devils.  Decent period, nothing great, but not god-awful, either.  CRAZY saves on each end of the ice.  Zach should be at goal #43 if not for a crazy shortstop like dive by Cam Ward, while a pair of ho-hum-just-another-wicked-insane-Marty-glove-save keeps it a slim Devils lead heading into the third.

8:25 PM: Marty with another stellar save and then a bunch of scrummy stuff in front of the net.  Some guy named Convoy and Colin White get angry at each other, and MSG+ catches them yelling at each other from their respective penalty boxes.  Funny as hell.   Also, PIERRE CHAMPIOUX SIGHTING!

8:18 PM: Dammit Cam Ward, don’t you know you’re not supposed to make stops like that on Zach Parise?  Goaltender’s duel tonight for sure, sick save for sick save.

8:14 PM: I think Zubbie is protesting the 27 Dresses picture.  Between last night and that trip…jebus Zubbie, have a sense of humor, man.  Also, flat out ridiculous save by Marty.  RI-FRIGGIN-DICULOUS.

7:43 PM: Welp, that Elias goal certainly woke me up.  Perhaps I was being unfair on this game because of my own mental state.  It wasn’t that bad, and they seemed to wake up a bit as the game went on.  Only one penalty called, against the Devils, but that’s still an improvement over the last few games.  Big hit by Patty Elias late in the period, knocking Babchuk over, which is cool by me.  Devils lead 1-0 after one.

7:38 PM: Ooooooooh!  Odd-man rush, Madden dashes in as a decoy while Gionta passes to a trailing Elias and we gots ourselves a lead!  1-0 Devils.

7:34 PM: Spoke too soon, Niclas Havelid held someone.  Great.

7:30 PM: Maybe it’s because I’M tired, but the team looks terribly tired tonight.  Marty’s bobbling pucks, passes are off the mark.  No penalties yet, at least.

7:16 PM: See?  It’s a good thing I’m only Sorta-Capping this thing.  Slow start so far.

7:09 PM: Puck’s on the ice.  Doc’s intro was…weird.

6:32 PM (Pre-game): I know what you’re thinking…”Sorta-Cap?!”  Let’s just put it this way – I don’t feel particularly well this evening.  It’s been an exhausting week.  I’m not sure I have the ability to give you a good, insightful, funny-type LiveCap.  But I also don’t wanna just, y’know, do nothing.  We’ve been doing nothing ’round here too much lately.  So, the Sorta-Cap.  I’ll update after each period and occasionally when the fancy strikes.  And if, at some point I disappear, avenge my death.  (Or I fell asleep.  Whichever.  You can still avenge me, though.)

Thoughts from Section 209….Devils/Wild 3/20/2009

One mere section over from Section Two-Oh-Ten (hey I said it I’ll take my shit for it :p)… well at least for now… there’s gonna be some bitching about THAT in a minute… and it just seemed like just another night in the office for the Devils… and an impromptu 2ma reunion in the section too!!!!!

the Good:
— after a first period that was coma-like… Jesus was mb30 in a ZONE last night… willing that game to shutout 101, well once Lemaire gave up and started playing offense
— the penalty killing… yeah the refs got a little too into the “College Basketball chant” coming from 209 and kept calling penalties to see how long they could keep it going… but a 7 for 7.. what can you ask for!!
— It’s amazing how now a bad game for Parise is “only 2 assists” and the record watch is now at 7 goals and 9 points with 11 games to play (not to mention 13 points from a 100-point season… and NO ONE saw this coming this year!)
— then again this team’s offense as a whole is stupid good this year… Parise over 40… Elias at 30 goals
.. Langenbrunner and Zajac over 20 and Gionta, Zubrus and Clarkson close to the 20 mark (not like all of them will get it… but hell, anything is possible with this team… well except reasonable prices up high :p)
— and speaking of… Paul Martin’s diving keep and then shot to the net which lead to Elias breaking the 30-goal mark… as gorgeous a goal as you’ll see with your own eyes!!

the Bad:
— Well my mood was set well before I got to the game tonight, I saw it on NJDevs this morning… and I got the thing in the mail to make it WORSE… now come this time of year when you get a package from the Devils I was like.. ohhh… playoff tix are here… oh no no no NO…. what did I get in the mail you ask??

“Please note your invoice reflects the new pricing for the 2009-10 season….If you PAY IN FULL by April 17th, you will receive your 2008-09 season ticket price of $22 per game, pay in FULL by April 17, or three monthly installments in April, May and June” (yeah you know when the second PLAYOFF invoice kicks in)

yes they give you a bunch of shit like a BBQ and a meet and greet… but you know what I’ll take NONE of that and keep my fucking prices!!!

(and oh yeah, your parking got jacked $3.50 a game too)… more of this to come after a VERY angry phone call on Monday to the Devils front office!!
…. and in case ya cared… my options if they continue this donkey-fuck…
1. move to 208…. 2. I’ll be taking road trips and fuck that arena ever sees my money again!
— Also… by the Way… the Wild fucking SUCK too… thank God I was pissed off and ranting… that first period was TERRIBLE!!!

the Funny:
— Well trying to tell poor Jamie on the phone I was on the 208/209 side of the section with people wondering why she needed a phone to hear me at that point (when I get loud and people don’t hear me I get confused… I ain’t used to it)… and of course the 5-time slip of saying I’m not on the 2-oh-10 side… ah well… it was amusing!
— AS we all know we have some fine young draft picks up and coming in section 208/209 (well if THEY don’t get priced out of the fucking building!)… we have the biggest star of the lot in Little Nicky… and the ever-famous Beer Plinko Kid
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCIupHdUuVM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erSN2IogQjs and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNwRqPH4-s4 … for reference!) …. Beer plinko kid’s dad buys his boys’ ice cream (I could spend days ranting on the price for a family of 4 in the building)… he goes to his kids and goes “Hey you guys better enjoy this… you ain’t getting nothing else here tonight”…. so I turn and go “Better eat it slow guys”…. lil Nicky picking up his game in superstar mode turns and starts chanting “EAT IT SLOW … EAT IT SLOW …. EAT IT SLOW!!” If I ever fool a woman into being crazy enough to let me have a kid with her… I want a lil Nicky dammit!!!!! (not to mention the same 6-year old giving grief to the guy who couldn’t change his own tire on this car!)

–I might have more later… I’m still pissed that in the middle of a magic amazing season like this I get donkey-punched and blindside like that… and anyone who knows anything about me… when I get attacked in my crease… someone gets fucked up!!!!

Devils @ Panthers LIVECAP!!

10:06 PM: So a five-game winning streak for NJ after nearly losing the game in a poorly-played few minutes in the third. Nothing like a little tension to head into turkey day. That’s it for me tonight. Check back in the next few days for the launch of a major initiative from the 2ma! Goduya! Happy Thanksgiving!

10:01 PM: Johnny mothereffin’ Oduya!!!!! After botching a 2-on-1 just minutes ago, the reborn defenseman rips one through Anderson to win the game for New Jersey! Devils win! 3-2 in OT.

10:00 PM: Penalty killed, Devils on the attack. Thankfully the Panthers are still playing like little more than an AHL squad.

9:56 PM: OT underway and hot jesus on a hammock, they throw the puck over the glass and draw a penalty. Would somebody please find the Devils from 90 minutes ago?

9:53 PM: Damn. David Booth puts one home with 7.8 seconds left. We’re going to OT folks! Major Buzzkill is undoubtedly laughing from the bench, twirling his evil mustache. I completely blame this on my girlfriend, who wished against the shutout so her fantasy team would do better.

9:52 PM: Stop by Clemmer. Good pressure by the Panthers though, under 30 seconds left.

9:51 PM: Buzzkill pulled. Less than a minute to play.

9:49 PM: Ooof. Out of nowhere the Panthers put one in on a quick bang-bang play to Bouwemeester in the slot. 2-1. Two minutes to play.

9:43 PM: Major Buzzkill strikes again. Anderson stones Parise on a great breakaway chance. I feel like Anderson was stroking his Snidely Whiplash mustache under his helmet after that one.

9:41 PM: And now what it would have looked like if it were 1943! Anyone else getting sepia-tone replays?

9:38 PM: The Panthers look like the mighty mites on the 5-on-3 and Clemmer shuts them down when they get their act together for the subsequent 5-on-4. Still 2-0 in the second half of the 3rd.

9:35 PM: Ooooh boy. Now it gets interesting. Gio takes down a Panther and is called for tripping in what was a far more legitimate infraction. 5-on-3. The Panthers have “Right Now” by Van Halen on in the arena to boot. This sh*t’s about to get intense, hair band style.

9:33 PM: BS roughing call on Colin White. Nathan Horton comes up high on a hit on Whitey in the corner and he retaliates and gets called for a minor.

9:28 PM: 7 minutes of unremarkable hockey is broken by an absolutely absurd pair of saves by Clemmer! He made a solid save on an initial shot and I think somehow detached his spine to catch the rebound with his lower back. Johnny Oduya backs him up by kicking the puck out of harms way near the goal line. Whew! That woke me up.

9:22 PM: Back at it here in the third. Man, I agree with Josh, this Craig Anderson character is a bummer.

9:01 PM: Clemmer’s looked great during a bit of pressure from the Panthers at the end of the second there. Might be time for Weeksie to find that crossword puzzle book he was working on last year. Devils still up 2-0 after two.

8:58 PM: It even looks like the refs are taking pity on the thus-far hapless Panthers. Jay Leach gets called for a questionable interference minor and the Panthers are on the PP.

8:53 PM:Man, Patty and Gio are playing like it’s ’05-’06. Every shift has just been gold for them lately. A great give and go gets stopped by Anderson, who admittedly has done well to stonewall the Devils here in the second.

8:47 PM: And another powerplay without a goal. Still, as MSG-1294 just flashed up on the screen, the scoring chances are 16-1 at this point, so I’m not going to throw a pissy fit over it.

8:43 PM: Another penalty to the Panthers!

8:42 PM: My girlfriend, who has been affectionate to me in the comments arena tonight, just pointed out that Clemmenson is quite intimidating in net. I never noticed it, especially since there’s been no focus on him whatsoever tonight, but the dude seriously looks Devilish in net with his dark pads and mask.

8:39 PM: Another strong powerplay by the Devils with nothing to show for it. Still, the Devils look like they’re in a different league than the Panthers, who might have stayed a little too long out in the sun today.

8:36 PM: 17-4 is the shot total right now in favor of New Jersey. 17-4! Clarkson takes a spill (which I’m convinced has more to do with the fact that his skating ability is akin to Happy Gilmore than a trip) for a penalty and we’ve got another Devils powerplay!

8:29 PM: Back again for the second to find that Thomas Voukon has made a hasty exit in lieu of Craig Anderson. That’s two games straight that the Devils, the New Jersey Devils mind you, have chased goalies in consecutive games. What’s going on here? I ain’t about to question it.

8:11 PM: Hahaha. Doc ends the period with the most uncomfortable “whoohooo” ever to announce the Devils next Nathan’s hot dog night.

8:09 PM:Wow! A beautiful tic-tac-toe passing play from Parise to Cap’n Langs on over to Zajac and it’s a 2-0 game. All four lines are looking great heading into the final minute of the period down in Florida.

8:06 PM: Man, the boys are buzzing tonight. I’m almost terrified at this point that Rolston and Holik coming back will upset this magnificent chemistry that’s been stumbled across.

8:03 PM: Some good puck movement on the powerplay but nothing to show for it. The Devils are outshooting the Panthers 9-2 so far this period, so I’m not gonna complain. Are we on MSG-153 tonight? This looks like it’s being filmed in a cave.

8:01 PM: Penalty on Florida! Looked like a hook as Elias is taken down. Devils PP!

7:55 PM: Back and forth hockey here, nothing too spectacular. We could invent some Devils drama in the process I suppose. Bryce Salvador totally just rejected Parise’s stick after he broke his in the defensive zone. Is there trouble in paradise?

7:51 PM: The Devils really have a zip to their game again tonight. I dunno what Grumpy McMonkey Ears behind the bench has been saying to them lately, but he better keep it up. Is it injuries? Is the road to Lord Stanley paved with sports hernias? No probably not.

7:47 PM: Gionta scores!! The streak continues! Five straight games with a goal for Gio on another beautiful deflection setup by Mr. Johnny Oduya, who has looked freakin’ phenomenal this year.

7:45 PM: Elias just barely fans on an opportunity in front. Chico points out that this is in fact hockey and not soccer and Elias would not have been able to kick the puck into the net. Whew, that’s a load off.

7:43 PM: Penalty killed. Jesus, are the Devils really only 68 percent on the penalty kill at home? WTF? Devils powerplay as the Panthers take a minor!

7:40 PM: After figuring out some dual live-cap madness we’re underway! And less than 2 minutes in we’ve already got a penalty to Elias. Devils on the PK early.

7:35 PM: I think this truly must be a 2ma first.

7:32 PM: Oh! Dueling livecaps!!!! Damn you Burnett!!

7:30 PM: P.S. I had some trouble finding the game tonight on my cable. If you’re having the same problem, this is where I found the info on what asscrack of television the devils broadcast is on tonight.

7:25 PM:So Scottie Clemmensen gets the start tonight as we continue to work through the weird and wild post-Brodeur apocalypse. We’re still working on fixing the Zubbie Counter after last night’s explosion, but those repairs could be helped along by some continued stellar play (ahem).

7:19 PM: Hey all, it’s been a while I know. I’ve been giving a little too much love to my other wordpress baby lately (i sorta get paid for it), and I apologize. But OMG, two livecaps in a week?! We’re totally spoiling you. Let’s go Devils!