Scott Stevens, was that you? (A half-cap, if you will)

11:53 PM ET: A bittersweet moment, but we must give congratulations to Richard H. as he has taken home the 2MA t-shirt. Thanks to all who entered!
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10:10 PM ET: What a waste. Season over.

10:08 PM ET:
…and that’s that. Staal fires one past Marty with just seconds left. You’ve gotta be kidding me.

10:07 PM ET:
Devils with the timeout. I’m not sure my heart can handle this.

10:06 PM ET:
Well, we have a minute left. Please do not break my heart, New Jersey.

10:05 PM ET:
DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT.  Tied game.

10:01 PM ET:
Marty with a purty glove save on Rod Brind’amour. Do I need to bust out the You Go Girl picture? I think I do. Ever since that crap goal Brodeur gave up early in the first, he’s been on FI-YAH.

9:57 PM ET:
Two-on-one, Madden and Whitey. That’s almost as good as a Colin White penalty shot.

9:51 PM ET:
Martin Brodeur is a pretty darn good goalie. Just sayin’. He’s keepin’ the lead for the Devils right now.

9:51 PM ET:
Cam Ward is a pretty darn good goalie. Just sayin’. He’s keepin’ the Canes in it right now.

9:47 PM ET:
Madden with the game on his stick, can’t quite get it high enough on Ward. Consequently, Tuomo Ruutu gets absolutely reamed by Patty Elias. This has not been Ruutu’s night.

9:47 PM ET:
GOOD KILL GOOD KILL GOOD KILL

9:46 PM ET:
MARTIN BRODEUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11ONE!1

9:45 PM ET:
Captain-brunner takes a bad penalty…no good. This is a huge kill here. DO IT.

9:38 PM ET:
Madden and Pandolfo on a two-on-one? Wow, I’m having serious flashbacks here.

9:33 PM ET:
So, yeah, normally the Rangers Suck chants annoy the heck outta me, but there’s something so divine about hearing 17,625 fans mocking the failed season of the Blueshirts in unison.

Loves it.

9:32 PM ET:
HOW DID THAT NOT GO IN? Elias, you’re fired.

9:29 PM ET:
Let us all take a moment bow our heads in silence for the Rangers’ 2009 season. Rest in Peace, New York. Rest in Peace.

…Nelson, I need to borrow your laugh right here.

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9:15 PM ET: Oh, and thanks to everyone who entered the 2MA t-shirt contest! Winner will be announced at the conclusion of tonight’s contest!
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9:13 PM ET: And we’re done with two! Devils with an additional buck-twenty left on the power play going into the third period.  I need a drink.

9:11 PM ET: Atta-boy, Zachy. Good to see Parise back on the ice immediately after getting his cheek ripped open.

9:08 PM ET:
Okay, I was totally kidding about, you know, any injury to Zach Parise. Poor pretty boy takes a stick to the face, draws blood and we’re on a four-minute man advantage. Make Gleason and the Canes pay Black ‘n Red!

9:04 PM ET:
GOOD KILL GOOD KILL GOOD KILL

9:02 PM ET:
I’m going to punch Zach Parise in the knee. Keep your stick down holmes! ‘Nother penalty kill for the Devils. Gotta stop taking the penalties.

9:00 PM ET:
GOOD KILL GOOD KILL GOOD KILL

8:56 PM ET:
If Facebook had a Does Not Like button, I’d click it for that play. BAD PENALTY CALL for flip’s sakes! Two-man advantage for the wrong team. Huge kill coming up. DO IT BOYZ! ‘Kay, maybe Facebook has taken over my life too.

Speaking of, add us on Facebook! …ah crap. Addicted.

8:50 PM ET: YUS!! POWER PLAY GOAL SUCKAS! 3-2 NEW JERSEY! What a PLAY by Brian Gionta! Amazing awareness, throws it over to Brian Rolston who *gasp* FINALLY GETS A GOAL! Oh my GOSH it’s like it was in the stars…

8:48 PM ET:
Solid shift by Black ‘n Red results in another pee-pee. If I don’t get my power play goal, I’m going to cry.

8:37 PM ET:
Uh…defense? Hello? Tied game. That power play goal would have been lovely, eh? Whatever, Ray Whitney is stupid.

8:36 PM ET:
Why does our power play suck so much?

8:34 PM ET:
Huge pee-pee! …uh…that sounds wrong. I WANT A POWER PLAY GOAL DARN IT.

8:33 PM:
‘Kay, Brendan Shanahan is awesome. Solid two-way play tonight by the 75893-year-old forward.

8:15 PM: PS Jay Pandolfo can grow a playoff beard like no one’s business. Shades of Scott Niedermayer anyone? …lies. That man came out of the womb with a full, furry, fantastic beard.

8:14 PM: Shaky start, solid ending. Good period overall. I like when the defense doesn’t completely suck. I also like when Captain-brunner looks like his old self.

KEEP IT GOING
KEEP IT GOING
KEEP IT GOING
KEEP IT GOING
KEEP IT GOING

8:03 PM: I LOVE JAY PANDOLFO.
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Holy…Johnny O-flippin-duya!

That was the hit of the playoffs right there ladies ‘n gents. I’m pretty sure poor Tuomo is still shakin’ in his skates right now…if he even remembers what skates after that boomer of an open ice hit.

KEEP IT GOING
KEEP IT GOING
KEEP IT GOING
KEEP IT GOING
KEEP IT GOING

Devils/Sabres…thoughts from Section 209

(heh… who knew people READ this crap?? Man posting pressure here too!!)

But before I even get to the game….
– Having a home game against Monday Night Football is about as dumb as asking Chris Berman to ask the questions that are going to make ME CHOOSE WHICH PRESIDENT I WANT TO VOTE FOR TOMORROW … oh yeah… that’s happening ain’t it?? (and damn the Devils I’d have stayed for a shootout tonight to miss that softball tossing at half time!)
– the Devils Den… so I walk in today… wanting to get the jersey I got for donating blood done up… I wanted old school… I wanted the guy who’s goal in game 7 in 1994 sealed the Devils Deal for LIFE… I wanted Valeri Zelepukin…. (if you don’t know who he is…. go away now!)… and it was bad enough I got a “WHO” from the employee…. (not to sound like it sounds… but if he bounced a basketball she’d KNOW)… but they don’t have all the right letters in stock for it… HOW HARD IS IT TO STOCK JERSEY LETTERS??? Anyway… so I go get my annual yearbook…. and show my Devils Legion card…. hey I got season tickets at basically FACE VALUE so I don’t get TEN DOLLAR DISCOUNTS like they had tonight… but I get my nifty 10% discount… OH WAIT… WE DON’T DISCOUNT THE YEARBOOKS!!! No wonder I am still waiting for my best buy coupons!! Thank God the product on ice is so well oiled and deep eh?? (do you really need a sarcasm meter on that one??)
– the place was SO DEAD before the game the season ticket beggars in suits were timing my laps around the concourse (best time… 3:34 beatches!!)
– Scott Clemmensen… why so depressed looking… oh it’s cause you’re back in the NHL, but with more of an AHL Team in front of you then you had in Toronto!!!!! I’ve never seen a guy look so sad for someone who had NO business being in the NHL again (well maybe Christian Berglund, but he was pathetic out of the womb!)

– as for the game….. yeah … they looked BAD… when was the last time a Devils goalie made 20 saves.. in a PERIOD… it’s funny we used to make the other team’s backup look like the Vezina winner… somewhere Marty lit up a cold one or twelve going “thank God I’m off for this”
– Sheldon Brookbank, keep taking penalties… it means you’re off the ice (we bench Vrana and Bergfors when they SCORE GOALS and this stiff gets more shifts then Patrik Elias)
– Jamie, I respect you dearly, but you’re slipping and you looked HORRID again tonight… please vacate the point on power plays forever!
– THE WEEKES WAS UNLEASHED AND IT WAS MIGHTY!!!! (no not the Scum in Anaheim)
– 6 forwards on the ice with an empty net… and NO ONE REMEMBERS TO COVER THE POINT.. well not Jamie… he’s banned from the point… it’s pointless!!
– I know I was asked to watch my F-Bombs but when I see a boxscore and see:
N. Bergfors 04:36, P. Vrana 07:11, J. Langenbrunner 23:47
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!! Sutter needs to lose his job just for this bullshit on the rookies ALONE
– WEEKES!!!!!
– Oh Patrik… can you miss any better a chance like you did… what.. three times?? *argh* COME OUT OF IT!!!
– I can’t get on Zubrus, Gionta or Parise… they did their jobs… Zajac was ok until that stick broke (but rant #16 tonight… WHY DO PLAYERS WHO HAVE A PEANUT BUTTER SLOW SLAPSHOT USE THE I BREAK IF YOU FART ON THEM COMPOSITE STICKS… it’s like a .220 hitter taking steroids… you still suck if you hit .245!!!!)
– Oh I can’t forget my asshole fan line of the night:
“WE BELIEVE IN YOU RYAN MILLER!!!”
“YEAH… YOU BELIEVED IN JIM KELLY TOO”
The painful cringes I got from the Buffalo fans was only matched by my follow-up Kurt Cobain references!!
– Sorry no Beer Plinko tonight kids…. the family wasn’t there… maybe his wife saw the facebook pics… oi vey!!
– At least if we have this effort on Wednesday… by golly we’ll make it to a SHOOTOUT and that will be SWELL folks!!!! :-)

(hope this was worth you’re time! Then again… no one else is left here to write eh??)