Archives for December 2006

I am better than Sidney Crosby

Your pads are ugly.Yay for first place!

Yay for Marty shutouts!

Good win, friends, good win. It’s always fun to beat the Pittsburgh Penguins. Granted, I’d like to see a game where the Devils don’t lose 26 of their defensemen to injury, but whattaya gonna do? Richard Matvichuk, we need you.

Hey, at least we beat Banana Pads again. Boy oh boy are the Devils in the head of this poor kid, he can’t seem to buy a vowel against New Jersey!

And now, for a plea…

And may I present to you, Scott Poo-mezScott Gomez, we seriously need you to actually DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE. Skating in circles, missing the net, and not backchecking was all nice and fun at first, but I gotta say, it’s really played out now. So, uhm, could you actually earn your paycheck? I know it’s tough and all, being that you can’t wait to bolt to the Rangers for that $58393.5 billion dollar thirty-year contract next year, but come on…come on!

Merry Holidays!

Number five, two minutes for existing.So, the Devils couldn’t pull out a win against the Thrashers last night. No worries, they never win against that team anyways. What does worry me, though, is injuries for Patrik Elias and Colin White. Let’s hope both aren’t serious…because, well, if they are, then that sucks. I mean, who will take the obligatory dumb penalty at an important stretch in the game? Whitey, we need you!

Holidays!!!1!@Alas, all is well in the Atlantic Division as the Rangers are not one to disappoint. Fresh off a 9000 game losing streak, the Broadway Blues looked to obliterate Tampa Bay, only to give up four consecutive goals and lose 4-3.

Thanks Santa…or should I thank the Rangers D?

First place at the Holiday break, I’ll take it. Penguins up next, Malkin and Crosby have been giving the world fits lately but I think the Devils can stand up to Pittsburgh’s painfully-lacking defense and goaltending.

Happy Holidays from 2 Man Advantage!

Back on Top

YOU WILL GET NOTHING AND LIKE IT!I have one word for you, Alex:  OWNED.  Undoubtedly the play save of the game goes to Brodeur. (…As usual) Much praise to you, Marty, for making AO look like a ham sandwich.

The Devils decided to show the happy side of their bi-polar play as they romped the Caps 4-1.  The win, paired with an Islanders massacre in Carolina, puts New Jersey back atop the Atlantic Division!  (I can hear the Ranger fans crying ‘flu-bug’.  Eat it.)

A good offensive show tonight: Zajac finally breaks the slump, Sarge continues his point streak, even Lukowich did something!  …And Zach Parise apparently has taken some sewing lessons.  (Ok, did everyone get it who’s going to get it?!)  Moving on… In a nutshell, the Devs played a great road game.  The penalties are still mounting up during recent games, but I did notice a shorter box-parade tonight.

Thanks to the scheduling daults that Mr. Bettman deems compitant, New Jersey will travel to Atlanta tomorrow night.  (Hmm, Devils/Thrashers, …sounds familiar.)  Time to grab some revenge, fellas, or would you like to view this as another opportunity to cement yourselves as Atlanta’s bitches?

Guys, seriously, win one damn game against them, would ya? 

You’re happy, we’re happy

Hell yeah. Nothing like a good Ranger spanking to put me back into positive hockey spirits. Tis the season, eh?

Watch out, Johnny is about to skyrocket another puck into the stands!It’s always refreshing to see the Devils bust a game wide open, seeing as generally fans are treated to grand offensive displays of one or, dare I say, two goal outbursts. But…six goals? Oh yeah. Oh hell yeah.

One gripe, if I may. If I could ask for anything this Holiday season, maybe could it be for Johnny Oduya to stop flinging the puck into the crowd like it was his job? Come on. I mean, come on. His delay of game penalty tonight had to have been his 905th of the season…at least. No joke.

Otherwise, I’m happy. You happy?

Good.

Big Weekend

GO SIT IN THE CORNER!Ok, I know what you’re thinking. “Nice, Joe, blame the losing streak on the coach, real cool.” Hold on there, Jethro.

The losing streak itself is not the work of one Claude Julien, but he sure isn’t helping the cause. His latest brainfarts?

1) THE TIMEOUT vs. BUFFALO

» I can’t think of a worse time to take a timeout than the one Julien called against Buffalo. The Devils had just scored 2 goals in like 20 seconds, and the Sabres were on the ropes and you could see the frantic look on Ryan Millers face, even from my seats. The timeout gave the Sabres time to regroup and clear their heads. They took advantage, won the faceoff, and frustrated Langenbrunner into taking his 47th penalty of the game. Smooth.

2) PULLING CLEMMENSEN IN BOSTON

» Were you watching the game or did the fat, hairy beerman in the 8th row seduce you again? The Devils D was pathetic the entire game, what made you think you could get away with an empty net for over a minute? Clemmy held the Devils in all game. So he gave up a bad one early on, it happens. The penalties are what ultimately sunk New Jersey, but this move removed all hope that was left in the last 1:45.

«»«»«»

Now that we’re all on the same page, Detroit is in town in just a few hours. If you think this game is going to be easy, you probably should be at the bus stop waiting for the Sped Wagon. Today’s game, coupled with tomorrows debacle in MSG, makes for a huge weekend for New Jersey, and for Claude Julien (You can bet Lou will be taking notes.)

Show us something, boys.

Bi-Polar Devils recapping!@@!!

Joe and I are trying something a bit different tonight…complete in-game ramblings, non-stop. Enjoy!

Whoo-boy.

Breather. Let’s take a breather. You got this, Scotty. Stay focused.

…5 seconds later (literally):HE IS AWESOME!!

Nevermind. Not your night.

Is it really too much to ask for the Devils D to actually do something positive? I mean, really?

Edit #2:

Clemmensen is on pace for 9000 nine million saves at this point.

Edit #3:

Scott Clemmensen is better than you. I don’t care if he’s given up two goals. He’s made five billion saves. 2-1 now, give a whole helluva lot of credit to Clemmy.

Edit #4:

OH HELL YES. WE ARE TIED. JAMIE MOTHER’FRIGGIN LANGENBRUNNER, 2 MAN ADVANTAGE STYLE!

…and now let’s turn it over to Joe:

Edit #5: Jamie Langenbrunner, I Want Your Hand in Marriage

Jamie Langenbrider( I don’t wanna hear anything about the crappy photoshop job, I’m busy dag nammit! )

This is easily becoming the most frantic, out-of-control entry in this blogs young life, and we’re only through 1 damn period! But then again, that’s exactly how this game has unfolded.

Jamie Langenbrunner has reconciled all sin thus for tonight. Now that the Devils have got themselves back to the surface, let’s see if they can find the dry land.

I’m gonna come right out and say it…shoot the puck, because Tim Thomas is a rented retard.

Oh, and btw, the quote of the night goes to Dr. Mike Emrick: “..the Bruins will be shorthanded and Chara is shnookered!”

Back to Patricia…

Edit #6:

Scott Clemmensen. You are The Man.

Edit #7:

If I haven’t made it known yet, let me say that Scott Clemmensen is terrific. Tim Thomas is not.

Edit #8:

…poop. Here’s a novel idea: stop taking penalties. Clemmensen is not God, contrary to what I may write.

Edit #9:

Re-mem-mem-ber?Mike Rupp. On behalf of Devils fans across the nation…or, well, for the 35 of us, I’d like to say thank you. We are happy you are back. And we forgive you for sucking in 2004.

And for Erik Rasmussen…I knew you had it in you, you scoring monster you.

3-3 folks. Sit tight.

Edit #10:

Smooth move pulling Clemmy, idiot.Are you kidding me? 4-3. It must be a blast taking penalties all gosh darn night and giving the Bruins opportunities left and right to score. I think Boston has scored 24 power play goals tonight. Can’t play catch-up all night boys, you will lose.

Edit #11:

Well, uhm, Bruins get the empty-netter. Julien pulled Clemmy too soon like the idiot that he is.

That’s all she wrote.

Oh my.

By the way, your wrist shot sucks.Silly Devils, did you guys really think you could actually compete with the Buffalo Sabres?

Lies!

Granted, the Devils really outplayed the Sabres in the first two periods, which of course, I did not get to watch, but for the third…well, our lovely defense decided to take a swing a handling things.

Brian Rafalski is starting to replace Brad Lukowich as most annoying, crappy defenseman on the team. Gosh darnit, Raffy…are you serious?

And on another note…I’d like to give props to Erik Rasmussen. Apparently he wanted to prove me wrong and show he can score more than one goal this season. Good for you, Erik. Bad for the rest of the team, since they’re still getting their asses handed to them in the span of one period.

Uh…on ANOTHER note, wow. Gionta. 3-2. Making it close. Woo.

…but then Jamie decides to end the game for the Devils. Close, but no cigar.

On a serious note

Get well soon, Phil!Reports out of Boston indicate that Bruins rookie Phil Kessel has been diagnosed with testicular cancer and will be sidelined for an indefinite period of time.

While it is unknown how long Boston will be without their 2006 first-rounder, the Kessel family did issue a statement Monday asking for privacy, also stating “When there is an update, and it is appropriate to do so, we will update everyone on Phil’s health.” Respecting the request for privacy, head coach Dave Lewis had no comment on Kessel’s situation or status.

Drafted fifth overall in last year’s entry draft, Kessel has appeared in 27 games for the Bruins this season, posting five goals and four assists for nine points.

We wish Phil a speedy recovery!

Tip of the Day!!!

Lying down on the job again...2 Man Advantage’s Tip of the Day #2: If you’re waived by one of the league’s worst teams not once, but twice in less than one season, you should really highly consider retirement.

Yes, Petr Nedved, I am talking to you.

To the surprise of absolutely no one…

He hurts.So the Devils placed injured winger Cam Janssen on the long-term injury list this weekend. Still unknown what actually ails Janssen, we are left only to assume his aching shoulder is probably more than a mere dislocation or separation. Me thinks he suffered some structural damage and Louie Lams just doesn’t want to make it known to the media. Oh how I love our mysterious GM…

And he's back in the game!Filling in for Janssen is Dan LaCouture, making his second appearance as a New Jersey Devil. Skating in six games this season with New Jersey, LaCouture racked up seven penalty minutes and has gone pointless thusfar for the Devils.

Granted, he’s no goal scorer, but an assist here and there would be nice. I know, I’m asking a lot here, but at least it’s worth a shot. If Erik Rasmussen can get a goal or two this year (and he’s well on pace after Saturday’s affair in Boston), then Danny Boy can get a few assists!

Alas, welcome back Danny Boy!