Archives for March 2007

How Happy We Are Now

…how quickly things can turn around in the Garden State, eh?

What slump?Let us celebrate Zach Parise’s career high 30th goal of the season, along with Martin Brodeur’s franchise record 44th win of the season, both achieved tonight in the Devils 3-2 win over the New York Islanders.

Oh, and of course the minor detail of New Jersey’s tenth straight playoff clinch. Yes, yes folks, the Devils will be making yet another post season run in their 25th season at the Swamp.


It’s official: David Clarkson rules


Was there really any doubt?


Okay, so I feel bad for the Islanders, I really do. Voted Most Amazing General Manager In The World, Garth Snow constructed a team that he really thought would contend in the playoffs. Alas, Ricky DiPietro can’t get those damn birds to stop circling his head (with his latest blow coming courtasy of everyone’s favorite NHLer Sean Avery), and the Isles, unfortunately, have no backup goaltending to speak of. Poo. My heart goes out to you, Islander fans.

But back to the task at hand — talking about the sheer awesomeness of David Clarkson. Why hasn’t this guy made the team sooner? He’s purely amazing.

Guess Who’s Back?


Yes yes, Mr. Elias will suit up for Tuesday’s game on Long Island. We’ve missed you, Patty. Never leave us again. Never. Ever. Ever.


‘Jersey’ Jim to the Rescue!

Still Got It!
Me without makeup, not pretty.So the streak ends at three! Everyone bow to Mr. Dowd. Jim Dowd rules, but having the flu…well that sucks. So being the reason for the lack of updates around here…my apologies! Patricia is in Pennsylvania enjoying a Hershey Bears game but will be back shortly! I’m carting my infected respiratory system to the doctor today – mainly because I’m out of blowpops. ;-)Thanks for sticking around, we’ll be back soon!

And that’s three

Stop sucking, okay? Okay.Rod Pelley: Ain’t no way Vinnie Lecav’s gonna score on me!

Word of advice, Roddy, keep your mouth shut. I fully expect Vinnie to net his 50th of the season now that Pelley has vowed he will not let the former Bolts cap’n light the lamp on his watch.

Oh boy. It’s going to be a loooong night.

Joe and I will be live-capping all game. It’s gonna be fun…I hope.

EDIT: Parise-Zajac-Langenbrunner are finally back together. About time, eh? Julien is scrambling here — he ain’t got poo on offense right now. Oh, and by the by: Elias, Gionta, Madden, and Rasmussen are all out tonight. Le sigh.

EDIT #2: Game underway. Let’s go Lowell!

EDIT #3: 1-0 Tampa. Didn’t take long for the defense to break down there.

EDIT #4: The craptastic power play gets a chance to (not) score a goal. Team hasn’t netted a pee-pee goal in its last 15 chances. Yikes.

JOE’S 2 CENTS: Of course a crappy redirection puts the Devs in a hole. I gotta give an ‘awesome’ nod to Mr. Colin White, something that happens about as often as Sergei Brylin scoring in a shootout. Don’t worry Rad Brad, didn’t forget about ya: smart penalty. So the ‘D’ has saved our butts a few times, now it’s time for a counterpunch. D+O=DO, as in ‘do something’. Like putting the puck in the net. To the 2nd we go. It’s all yours, Patricia.

EDIT #5 (WHICH IS MORE LIKE #6): Langenbrunner hits a goal post, redirects to Parise, Zachey misses it with the stick after being screened and can’t convert to put the puck in a wide open net. Seriously? Hockey Gods, you suck right now.

EDIT #6: Yays a goal. Karma’s a bitch. Stupid refs cost the Devils a goal, so Parise took things into his own hands with the hum-dinger past Marc Den-eeey to knot the game at one…oh, it was a powerplay goal. Haven’t seen one of THOSE in a while! Let’s hope for a few more now, mmmkay?

Joe says no posts. I say, no logos!EDIT #7: Stop it with the penalties now! Oh, and I would like to further elaborate on Joe’s previous brilliant illustration of where to and not to shoot. Goal posts are a no-no, but, uh, can you guys stop pelting pucks into the chest protector of the goalie? Last time I checked, it’s quite hard to force a puck through a goalie’s body. Stranger things HAVE happened though…

JOE’S 2 CENTS: Well, boys: more of the same. The penalties have to stop, seriously. Brodeur is giving you guys a chance to win this game, now respect his authori-tah and give him something to work with! And listen to Patricia, you really can’t shoot a puck through a goaltender’s stomach. I tried. Just ask Mike. Oh, hey, Rod: do you always play with your head up your ass? LOOK UP before you shoot! First you shoot from 20 feet out on a breakaway last night, then you completely miss Brylin clunking his way to the net on a 2-on-1. Wrap this one up, boys. Now a nifty, between-the-legs drop pass back to Patricia! Bury it!!

Gee, thanks Johnny.EDIT #8: You suck, Jonny Oduya.

EDIT #9: 3-1 Tampa Bay. Martin St. Louis with his second goal of the night. Aaaaaaaaaand that’s game.

EDIT #10: Why bother? Less than a minute left, don’t even pull Marty. Don’t even call a timeout. You’re just wasting your time Julien. This team is purely an offensive joke without Elias and Gionta…and Madden…even though he doesn’t really score too much. Le sigh.

EDIT #11: Game over. Devils lose again. That’s three.

JOE’S FINAL THOUGHT: Plain and simple.

Logo is seriously depressed now.

Oh come on.

Poor Logo.Tuomas Pihlman has been called up for tonight’s game against the Tampa Bay Lightning.

You know what THIS means: Erik Rasmussen is the latest poor soul to be thrown into the pile of injured Devils.

Suffering an “upper body injury” aka “spleen removal,” Rasmussen was going to accompany the team to Tampa Bay but was instead sent home by Louie Lams for further medical examination. Oh boy.

This is just getting ridiculous now. Not awesome.

Tip of the Day!!!

2 Man Advantage’s Tip of the Day #5: Don’t eff with Colton Orr.

Especially if your name starts with a Todd and ends in a Fedoruk.

Boy better watch out, Mr. Sandman is next!Poor guy was down for the count and knocked out cold after getting clocked in the cheek by the Blueshirt Bad-Ass. After being carted off by the Meat Wagon, Fedoruk was later taken to an area hospital where he will stay overnight for observation. Probably gots a concussion, I’d reckon.

The fight, which took place a mere 21 seconds into the game, obviously shook the Flyers up — last place Philly ended up losing 5-0.

Sure, I highly, hiiighly dislike both the Rangers and Flyers, but ya gotta hate seeing any player go down like that, even if it’s the likes of Chris Simon and Todd Bertuzzi. Oh well. Best wishes to Fedoruk on a speedy recovery. And, Todd, word of advice — don’t go for a rematch with Orr…he’ll probably literally kill you next time.

Now wouldn’t that just create some more wonderful press for the league?

Maybe THIS will cheer you up…

How aboot that, eh?…it sure made me smile after tonight’s latest loss in the skid.

WATCH: Clark, the Canadian Hockey Goalie (link opens in new window)

Quick description: Hockey Goalie Clark, absolutely dreads the offseason, so he decides to pick up a new summertime hobby to fill the void that seemingly lacing up the skates can only do for him. Will playing in the infield for the Bears satsify that craving for Clark and put him in the ranks of Bo and Deion, among others? Find out by watching the brilliant movie short, Clark, the Canadian Hockey Goalie!

…okay I’m done playing Movie Critic…tee-hees.

Thanks goes out to Mandy for the link!

Goalpost Love Affair

Have you seen the new Devils practice nets?Well, that game was an atrocity.

I’m getting really sick and tired of watching the offense, or lack thereof, miss chance after chance.  I mean really, what is so immoral about focusing on offense for a while?  Is it really that unforgiving of a practice to run and gun some offense and maybe get yourselves a lead by more than one goal?!  Claude, you’ve taken this ‘conservative’ style to a whole new level.  In the last 3 games the Devils have now been outscored 12-3 which is actually forcing me to experience an inhuman type of nausea.  But, I guess that’s what happens when people like GOMEZ decide to take an empty-net opportunity and shoot the damn puck WIDE.  Cute, Scott.  Way to earn that paycheck.  The Goalpost love-triangle wasn’t funny either, guys.  Save that crap for The Maury Show.

So much for the game-in-hand over Pittsburgh.  Congrats boys, you’ve somehow let a 9-point division lead blow up faster than Lindsay Lohan’s car insurance rates.  This is not the time to be having a team-wide meltdown!  Hit the showers and please, for the love of Leif Ericsson, get your act together.  This is no way to build momentum going into the playoffs.  These last few games are going to be huge – so quit with the circus act, would ya?!

Oh, and Rod Pelley: You suck.  Hard.

Okay, I’m back

…too bad the refs are nowhere to be found.

Seriously.Holy potatoes was that a craptastic non-call on that Jay Pandolfo takedown. Boy has rough luck when it comes to these things, remember Detroit in 1999-2000? Yeah, me too. Apparently one would have to decapitate Mr. Pandolfo to actually receive two measly minutes in the box.

EDIT: Goal posts are stupid.

Just, go away. Please.EDIT #2: Puck mishandled, Gomez gets ahold of it, wide open net. What do YOU think happens? …of course it goes wide.

EDIT #3: Sigh. I feel like I’m watching the 2007 Edmonton Oilers right now.

EDIT #4: Yays. A goal.

EDIT #5: Am I blind? What happened to the broadcast? Le sigh. …no, Chico, I cannot see right now. Someone alert the feds, we have no picture. At least tell the production crew about the techniculies. Great timing for this little problem, really.

EDIT #6: Whew. Picture’s back. About 30 seconds left. This may just be a cruel joke played by FSN though, bringing the picture back just in time for us to watch the Devils lose again…if so, I’m sad.

EDIT #7: Okay, I’m sad. Devils lose again. Are they ever going to win again this season? Granted, effort was MUCH better than lately, but, yikes, this lineup is scary without the likes of Gionta, Madden, and Elias. Not good.

Logo is really starting to bum guys.