Meet our new whippping boy, ladies and gents.9:57 PM ET: Game over — Devils start the season 0-1. No excuses, Red ‘n Black should have won this game tonight. Lame. Lame, lame, lame. LAME.

9:55 PM ET:
Wow. Clarkson is not happy. Barely pushes Kuba into Holmqvist, Gratton flips out and decides to take matters into his own hands. The two lads fight, edge Clarkson.

9:53 PM ET:
Prospal with the empty netter. 3-1 Tampa. This game is done. Give the first star to Holmqvist.

9:51 PM ET:
Ah, time for the last minute flurry. 1:17 left in the third. Zubrus, I fully expect you to score the game-tying goal right now. Time out, Devils.

9:47 PM ET:
Are you kidding me? Johnny Oduya, you are friggen garbage. Good job giving the entire net to Vinny Lecavalier. 2-1 Bolts, under four minutes left in the game.

9:43 PM ET:
I want a Zubrus goal, damnit.
JOE SAYS: I’m really disappointed in this team right now. I expected a better effort than this.

Brodeur = God9:36 PM ET: Whoa. Marty. Glove. Denied. Beautiful save.

…and now the Devils D starts to break down.

9:33 PM ET:
Thank you, FSN replay. I didn’t catch which idiot turned the puck over to Gratton when the Devils were on the man-advantage. Turns out, it was Johnny Oduya. How lovely.
JOSH SAYS: Way to make me sound like a loser. Thanks, Johnny.

9:30 PM ET:
The ice in Tampa is poop.

9:28 PM ET:
Prospal back in the box on a holding call, let’s see what the Devils can get going on this pee-pee.

9:26 PM ET:
Wow…Bergfors just got taken out by Ranger. Boy-oh-boy, hard hit right there.
JOSH SAYS: Poor Niklas. He got picked on pretty bad on that shift.

9:25 PM ET:
Looks like the Bolts have life. Marty already called upon to make a solid save.

9:22 PM ET:
Third period!
JOSH SAYS: Johnny has had a pretty not-bad-game so far.

9:05 PM ET:
Tied at one after two periods of play. Been quite an entertaining game so far, I must say. The third should certainly be interesting.

HE WILL CRUSH YOU! 9:02 PM ET:
What an open ice hit! Vishnevski with a huge hit on Richards, yet Jay Pandolfo somehow takes a penalty in the process. I did not see the penalty. Refs are stupid.

8:56 PM ET:
Wow, poor Zubbie. Twice now he’s been denied of sure-goals. Alas, that was a solid power play, boys had more than a few good chances.
JOSH SAYS: I’m not used to our power play being, well, good. It’s weird.

8:53 PM ET:
Poor Rad Brad. Can’t seem to hold on to a stick tonight. Keeps droppin’ ‘em or breakin’ ‘em. And now we have a Devils pee-pee, Zubrus got it pretty bad from Prospal. He seems to be okay, but note to the kids — keep your sticks low!

8:47 PM ET:
Butt. Tampa Bay finally realizes they need to do something to stay in this game, Lecavalier fires a nice wrister past the stick-side of Marty. Game is knotted at one.
JOSH SAYS: Booo.

8:46 PM ET:
Holy crap! These here Devils are nuts! I think I might have to change my pants, seriously.

8:44 PM ET:
Gratton decides to do something other than take a penalty, Marty denies him with those pretty pads. You suck, Chris Gratton.

Just kidding.

Keeping 'em in it. 8:42 PM ET:
St. Louis and Lecavalier come up with their best chance of the period, still manage to miss the net. Ha-ha. Gionta takes matters into his own hands, Holmqvist forced to make another nice save. Seriously folks, if not for Holmqvist, this game would be like nine ba-gillion-to-nothing.

8:40 PM ET:
Uh, David, maybe try being outside the net next time. The goal might count that way. Thanks.

8:40 PM ET:
Forechecking is awesome.

8:36 PM ET:
This offensive display is quite impressive. Yes, it’s only 1-0, but man, the boys are really throwing some great chances at Holmqvist. Quite frankly, this is almost too much for me to handle!

8:33 PM ET:
Zubrus almost knocks one home! Holmqvist with another strong save. I gotta say, I’m totally not used to this…you know, seeing, well, offense.

8:31 PM ET:
Game on. Boys start the second with a solid minute on the man advantage.

8:14 PM ET:
Oh man! Bergfors with a last second chance, denied by Holmqvist. We’re done with one, folks. Devils up 1-0.

We enjoy when you sit in the box. 8:12 PM ET:
Chris Gratton back to the box again. Keep it up, Gratton. Keep it up. Devils PP.

8:11 PM ET: Andy Greene is looking solid so far, very good to see. Keep it up, Greene. Keep it up.

8:09 PM ET:
Whew! Take that, Johan. Marty with another pretty glove save on Tarnasky.

8:07 PM ET:
The remarkable chemistry of Zajac and Parise continues. Zach-ey with a nice wrister on Holmqvist, who in return makes a pretty pad save.

8:06 PM ET:
Tampa seems to be settling down themselves a bit.

8:03 PM ET:
Man, the boys are causing turnovers galore for the Bolts. Theys be dominating right now!

8:02 PM ET:
Time out Tampa Bay. Tortorella does not seem too pleased with Red ‘n Black’s forecheck. Poor Torts.

7:56 PM ET:
What better to follow up a bee-yu-tee of a goal than a sparkling save by Mr. Vezina? The boys are waking up. Hooray!

Good start, good start. 7:53 PM ET:
Excuse me while I pick my jaw up from the floor. That was a RIDICULOUS play by Zach Parise. Off balance, spin-o-rama, shovels the puck for Gionta to tip in.

Red ‘n Black now up 1-0.
JOSH SAYS: That was…awesome.
JOE SAYS: WOOT!

7:53 PM ET:
Torts is bitching already. In other news, the sky is blue.

7:50 PM ET:
That was a crappy power play. But that’s okay, Tampa just took another penalty. Take two, anyone?
JOSH SAYS: It would probably be a bad sign on our season if Arron Asham has scored our first goal.

7:48 PM ET:
…and now he’s drawn a penalty! Atta-boy Davey! Chris Gratton off for roughing, time for a Devils pee-pee.

Hearts. 7:46 PM ET:
And David Clarkson hits the first post of the season!

7:46 PM ET:
We’re getting outplayed.
JOSH SAYS: Badly.

7:44 PM ET:
Uh, defense?

7:42 PM ET:
Zubrus and Brylin on the PK? This going to take some time to get used to, I reckon.

7:40 PM ET:
And the first penalty of the season has already been taken by New Jersey, Paul Martin is the lucky lad on quite the questionable call. The Devils are scrambling out the gate, quite nerve racking.

7:39 PM ET:
Okay boys, settle down!

7:38 PM ET:
Parise, Zajac, and Gionta are our starting three. HERE WE GO!

7:36 PM ET:
Ew. I had forgotten how ugly the new Tampa jerseys are. Seriously.

7:30 PM ET:
Oh we are a mere minutes away from the start of the season. Excitement. Lot’s of excitement.
JOSH SAYS: Hockey! Hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, HOCKEY!
JOE SAYS: Bergfors scores tonight, I’m callin’ it!

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