Archives for July 2008

I Just Couldn’t Resist.

Clearly, I need not remind you that updates around here have been few and far between this off-season. So given the fact that I am suffering from a writer’s block that could easily be mistaken for the after-effects of a lobotomy, you could imagine how I reacted when I read this.

It was too good to be true… just the thing I needed to get myself going!

But where oh where do I begin?? Maybe I should compliment the author on his prodigious use of the English language and befitting grammar. Perhaps I could chalk his argument up to the rose-tinted glasses he so blatantly dons. Tempting? Yes. However, doing so is far too pellucid. That being the case, allow me to generalize my rebuttal: Michael M. Ramos, you are a cretin.

use it, don't abuse it!

I should have halted my eyes when I realized that the opening argument against New Jersey was the ol’ “Mickey Mouse” comment. (Although I can’t blame the poor chap, it was either that or the infamous attendance crack…). Granted that 1983-84 season was dismal… but since tallying 7 Division Titles, 4 Conference Championships, 3 Stanley Cups, and a four-year winning streak over the New York Rangers, I think it’s time to put that comment to bed, eh? If those credentials make the Devils a “Mickey Mouse” franchise, then the New York Rangers should be branded as the NHL equivalent of John Holmes with Erectile Dysfunction — nothing more than a marquee name that can’t live up to the glitz and glamor.

As if citing a 25-year-old Wayne Gretzky faux-pas wasn’t bad enough, now we have to deal with the Barry Melrose factor. First of all… the words “Barry” and “Melrose” are meant to be used solely in conjunction with “pompous ass” at all times. Yes, Mr. Melrose did make a comment to the effect of “Don’t carry your wallet with you when visiting Newark“. But how convenient of you, Michael, to conveniently forget to mention the part about Barry admitting, after the fact, that he had never even been to Prudential Center and thusly accepted a tour of the city from Mayor Corey Booker that he thoroughly enjoyed. I guess it’s fitting you find his words worthwhile.

On a somewhat related note, the “closing” of Prudential Center this summer that you refer to was merely due to technicalities because of documents not being turned in on time, not for “endangering the lives of all those who attend.”

Wow…all this, and we haven’t even hit the ice yet!

Now, I cannot sit here and say to you with a straight face that I am not disappointed by watching the likes of Scott Niedermayer, Brian Rafalski, and Scott Gomez leave the team after such memorable moments. What I can say to you, is that they (with the exception of Niedermayer) left for a big paycheck elsewhere. I would rather have a group of guys that are willing to compete fiercely every shift for a shot at glory than have a roster full of Scott Gomez’s that feel they deserve a $10 million paycheck for 13 goals. While I admit that Lou Lamoriello hasn’t exactly struck gold in the FA market since the lockout, and I won’t sit here and feed you some bullsh!t about me liking Vlad Malakhov, I will point out how you graciously opted to ignore the addition of Brian Rolston not even a month ago. Not a wise move. Not a wise move at all.

Others like Grant Marshall, Brad Lukowich, and Richard Matvichuk were victims of the new Salary-Cap era, not roster eviscerations. Speaking of the Salary Cap, I’d be a little worried if I were you, Mr. Ramos, as it seems that the Rangers have over $145 million combined tied up in 5 players until the 2013-2014 season. Not to mention The Rangers will be paying Bobby Holik even more than we are this season, and he’ll be playing for US! What were you saying about ludicrous signings? 2002 wasn’t that long ago.

It’s obvious that down in Lowell things haven’t been all roses, but saying that the team is filled with “old AHL players without any chance to make it to the NHL” is a little much… I mean, you did just sign Aaron Voros didn’t you?? Delving further into the minor leagues, I’d like to point out that the Trenton Devils of the ECHL will not be kicked out of their building… it is nothing more than a rumor. And a weak one at that.

Allow me to end this with some blogger-to-blogger advice… An article meant to ridicule a rival that is devoid of facts and supporting arguments is about as effective as a mesh condom. The next time you are going to write a whole bunch of smack, it might be a good idea to at least do your homework.

Devils Home Opener Announced – Countdown Begins Now!

Start up your countdown calendars, folks.  We’re exactly 85 days away from the Devils home opener 2008-09.

It’s been confirmed that the Devils will open play next season with a division matchup against the New York Islanders on Friday, October 10th, 2008.  I guess they took pity on us for giving us a red-hot Ottawa team to open the Rock last year, so they went the complete opposite this year.  I’ll take it!

The full schedule doesn’t get released until tomorrow, but other little tidbits are coming out as we speak.  Following the Devils home opener, the boys will travel to Pittsburgh to partake in their opening night festivities the following evening, October 11th.  The Red N’ Black will also be the road team for Dallas’ annual New Year’s Eve matchup on December 31st.

Remember, the schedule changes go into effect this year – only six games each against division opponents (down from eight); the same 40 games against non-division conference opponents, and 18 against the other conference – one either home or away against each team; three of those teams will be played both home and away.  The Devils three home-and-away Western Conference opponents will be Chicago, Los Angeles, and Dallas.

I’ll be back tomorrow with the full schedule.  And maybe even charts!  Or, y’know, some sort of lame graphic.  We’ll see.

The Prodigal Son Returns

Yes, the rumors are true. Scott Clemmensen will once again don the Red & Black! Of course, it’ll be the baby Red & Black, but nonetheless Scott Motherfriggin Clemmensen is back where he belongs! 2ManAdvantage once again is armed with all it needs!

Patricia, remember to call your pharmacist and cancel your Ambien CR Refill.

Who Needs Markus Naslund?!

Welcome back, Mr. Holik!! (…You too, Brian!)

Free Agent Signing Day Happy Fun Time & Box Social

NEW JERSEY SIGNS BOBBY HOLIK, 1 year, $2.5 million.

2MA COLLECTIVELY SAYS: Welcome back Bobby!

, 4 years, $20 million.

STEVE SAYS: I couldn’t be happier with this signing. Rolston fills alot of our needs all at once. We get a top-six forward who can play center AND QB our power play. He’s been here before and has played in a similar system with the Wild for the last few years. Attaboy, Lou.

JOSH SAYS: Exactly what Steve says.

JOE SAYS: $^&! YEAH!!!!!

PATRICIA SAYS: Well, actually, Pat says nothing, as she’s off doing cartwheels somewhere. She’ll be back with actual words on the deal later.


Vancouver signs Darcy Hordichuk, two years, financial terms undisclosed.

Philadelphia signs Nate Raduns, one year, financial terms undisclosed.
Philadelphia signs Glen Metropolit, two years, financial terms undisclosed.

Rangers sign Patrick Rissmiller, terms undisclosed.

Philadelphia sign Ossi Vaananen, 1 year, $1 million.

Columbus signs Mike Commodore, 5 years, $18.75 million.

St. Louis matches Vancouver’s offer sheet on David Backes, 3 years, $7.5 million.

Chicago signs Brian Campbell, 8 years, $7.1 million per year.

Buffalo signs Patrick Lalime, 2 years, $1 million per year.

Philadelphia trades Denis Gauthier and a 2010 second round pick to Los Angeles for Pat Hersley and Ned Lukacevic.

Ottawa signs Alex Auld, two years, $1 million.

Tampa Bay signs Olaf Kolzig, one year, $1.5 million.

Colorado signs Darcy Tucker, 2 years, $4.5 million.

Vancouver signs RFA David Backes to an offer sheet, 3 years, $7.5 million. Compensation if St. Louis does not match is a second round draft pick.
Vancouver re-signs Kyle Wellwood, one year, $997,500.

Florida signs Corey Stillman, 3 years, $10.6 million.

Chicago signs Cristobel Huet, four years, $5.625 million per year.

NY Rangers sign Aaron Voros, terms undisclosed.

Pittsburgh signs Eric Godard, terms undisclosed.

Tampa Bay signs Adam Hall, 3 years, $1.8 million.

Toronto signs Jeff Finger, 4 years, $3.5 million per year.
Totonto signs Curtis Joseph, one year, $700,000

Phoenix signs Todd Fedoruk, 3 years, financial terms undisclosed.

Detroit signs Ty Conklin, one year, $750,000.

Montreal re-signs Andrei Kostitsyn, 3 years, $3.25 million per year.

Phoenix signs Kurt Sauer, four years, $1.75 million per year.

Colorado signs Andrew Raycroft, one year, $800,000.

Washington signs Jose Theodore, 2 years, financial terms undisclosed.

Minnesota signs Andrew Brunette, terms undisclosed.

Nashville trades Marek Zidlicky to Minnesota for Ryan Jones and a 2nd round draft pick.

Chicago trades RFA Rene Bourque to Calgary for a conditional 2nd round draft pick.

Boston signs Blake Wheeler to an entry-level contract.

Tampa Bay signs Radim Vrbata, 3 years, $3 million per year.

Anahiem re-signs Corey Perry, 5 years, $5.325 million per year.

Edmonton trades Raffi Torres to Columbus for Gilbert Brule.
Edmonton trades Joni Pitkanen to Carolina for Eric Cole.

Pittsburgh re-signs Pascal Dupuis, 3 years, $1.4 million per year.
Pittsburgh re-signs Mark Eaton, 2 years, $1 million per year.

Detroit re-signs Brad Stuart, 4 years, $3.75 million per year.

New Jersey re-signs Bryce Salvador, 4 years, $2.9 million per year.
New Jersey re-signs Jay Pandolfo, 3 years, $2.5 million per year.
New Jersey re-signs David Clarkson, 2 years, $837,500 per year.
New Jersey re-signs Barry Tallackson, terms undisclosed.

Morning FA roundup: Devs sign Salvador

4 years, about $2.9 per season, according to TSN.

The poetic Mark Everson from the Post has quotes from Brian Campbell’s agent confirming that Lou has been on the phone discussing signing him

There are also plenty of rumors swirling involving the Devils interest in Brian Rolston, Marian Hossa, Radim Vrbata, Darcy Tucker and others, but none as concretely confirmed as Everson’s tidbit on Campbell.

Keep it hear for updates all day/week and for the triumphant return of Patricia Greuter! Woo