Why don’t you take a seat?

It sucks to be a Devils fan if you have a fat ass.

…what, too blunt?

I apologize.

Let’s be frank here though. The round buns of many Devils fans far and wide (pun partially intended) are wedged between a Rock and a, well, plastic seat.

What the heck am I saying?

Oh, the seats are too cramped!

Or so says the organization and its fans, as Black ‘n Red has outright refused to pay $1.2-million to the Michigan-based seating company Irwin Seating.

Buggers filed a lawsuit against the Devils!

As reported by John Brennan over at NorthJersey.com, New Jersey ain’t payin’ ’cause Irwin Seating “failed to perform its obligations in accordance with the (January 2007) agreement.”

Ouch.

Common complaints across the Rock range from cramped, narrow seats to lack of cupholders (as previously promised, of course). The small seats make for very little arm and leg room between patrons. And forget about it if you’re a bit thicker — there ain’t much space for that derriere.

Some fans also argue the seats to be “too low,” making the sightlines a bit less than favorable. Granted, it won’t be as hard to spot Devils players next season with the departure of four-foot tall Brian Gionta, but STILL! Actually being able to see the game is always a plus, right?

So, what happens? Do we beg for Devils fans to enroll in Jenny Craig or should we unleash the wrath of a couple Newark thugs on Irwin Seating?

I kind of want to vote for the latter. If nothing else, it would at least be funny.