I Just Couldn’t Resist. Again.

Ya know, it really is funny. It seems like the newest fad in the hockey blogosphere is to grab a keyboard and wax poetic about how the Devils just destroy the game, disappoint hockey naturalists, sport lousy attendance, and simply aren’t getting it done anymore. But as we learned last time, it’s probably a good idea to make sure you have at least…I don’t know… watched a live hockey game before you plunge right in and scrap together a literary abortion. After all, it really isn’t fair to ask someone to resist temptation twice.

Let’s take a little trip over to Arthur Staple’s latest, shall we? Go ahead… I’ll give you a few.

Ok. Changed your underpants? Good, let’s go.

As a Devils’ fan, I’m obviously used to reading such poorly-written, devoid-of-substance attacks against one of the NHL’s most successful teams. However, I must admit that this is the first time I have read a piece focusing on playoff success in November. Really, Arthur? You’re going to sit at your little cubicle and write an article about the NHL Playoffs… in November?!

Brilliant. Well, your first self-contradiction comes with a statement that Lou Lamoriello “has it wrong” and that he’s “had it wrong since the lockout… even though the Devils have won three Atlantic Division titles in those four seasons.” (Could this be a test market for Microsoft’s new “does-this-make-sense?” feature?!) But wait, it gets better: Mr. Staple even makes his very own “trap” comment.

Arthur, seriously — you wouldn’t know the ol’ 1-2-2 if it kicked in your bathroom door and video-taped you reading Parade Magazine while you were waiting for the generous amount of Rogaine you graciously applied to your testicles to dry. I know this because had you recognized any trace of the “trap”, you would have easily detected it when the Rangers, Islanders, Penguins, Flyers, Capitals, Bruins, and Panthers executed it all year long. But no, no criticism of the sexy NHL clubs.

Oh look, kids — Brodeur comments, too?! How original, Arthur. Oh! You realized he got hurt last year, very good!

But Lou didn’t have a backup plan?

Really? I thought Scott Clemmensen came in and won a few games (or twenty-something) for the team and led them to an Atlantic Division championship? But ya know, Lou had no idea what he was doing. After all, Clemmensen was just signed to be a towel boy that happened to be an NHL-caliber goaltender. Who knew.

But when it’s down to the playoffs, the Devils only have Parise, Zajac, and Martin. No other Devils capable of taking a game on their shoulders, you say? My records show Langenbrunner, Pandolfo, Greene, and Clarkson — in addition to Parise and Zajac — all with registered playoff game-winners since 2006. Not to mention many from ex-Devils Gomez, Madden, and Gionta.

Sure, roster moves and player exits have caused holes to be “plugged” in New Jersey and Brian Rolston and Dainius Zubrus have filled those roles. Why? Because they want to be here. It isn’t about the money or the Broadway lights. It’s about playing a system that year after year proves itself to be one of the best in the league. Sure, the Devils have fallen on dark times in recent playoff years. But as I recall, the same string of disappointments befell the team in the late 90’s. After all was said and done, and numerous carbon-copied recycled bullcrap from “writers” like yourself — the Devils would go on to advance to the Stanley Cup finals in three of the next four seasons, winning the Stanley Cup twice.

Arthur, you can’t look me in the eye and tell me that Lou Lamoriello has no idea what he is doing. While the goal and the philosophy may stay the same year in and year out, master plans aren’t instantaneous in professional sports. Could these Devils be a part of a bigger puzzle? Who knows? I don’t have ESP, and neither do you.

Which is why you shouldn’t be writing this type of crap in November.


  1. Holy crap, we get vintage Steve AND vintage Joe in one week?!

    Life is friggin’ sweet.

  2. Very interesting post Joe

  3. Zubbie Counter Fan says:

    Should I print out a copy in hopes that one day you could have it signed? Amazing, sir.

  4. @ ZCF:

    It would be an honor, lol. Bring the original while you’re at it 😉


  5. This shit does get tiresome, doesn’t it? When the Devs handed the Rangers their asses a few weeks ago, after the game Dave Maloney and Joe Dickeletti were taking turns blaming the Devs’ success on “their system.” Never mind that Marc Stahl and Dan Girardi, two dim-witted and slow-footed defensemen who are clueless whenever they venture outside a 40-square meter area of their defensive zone, tried to stickhandle through traffic in the neutral zone and were stripped and burned for goals. See, it wasn’t Stahl or Girardi’s bad judgment, nor was it that the Devs are clearly a superior team, it was that goddam system in Jersey!

  6. @Dago Red:

    I remember watching that post-game that you were speaking of. Tiresome, yes. But Arthur Staple’s article goes way beyond the Rangers and their “glamour.”

    Staple’s article was just a devoid-of-substance attack on New Jersey. It wasn’t even so much the trap comment but the lack of supporting detail and the authors obvious lack of knowledge for an “NHL Insider” that really aggravated me. Rather than give credit where credit is most certainly due, Staple just rattles off merit as condescendingly as possible. Why focus on PLAYOFF success in NOVEMBER?! The past is the past — how about an article about how the Devils are still handing the league its collective ass even without one third of its NHL roster?!

    Still, your comment does support a good chunk of my argument!

  7. Yes, the Devils fill out their roster with so many overpriced players. That’s why they have such terrible cap issues right now. They keep making these dumb moves, like shelling out 25 million for Gionta. What a silly team!