Why don’t you take a seat?

It sucks to be a Devils fan if you have a fat ass.

…what, too blunt?

I apologize.

Let’s be frank here though. The round buns of many Devils fans far and wide (pun partially intended) are wedged between a Rock and a, well, plastic seat.

What the heck am I saying?

Oh, the seats are too cramped!

Or so says the organization and its fans, as Black ‘n Red has outright refused to pay $1.2-million to the Michigan-based seating company Irwin Seating.

Buggers filed a lawsuit against the Devils!

As reported by John Brennan over at NorthJersey.com, New Jersey ain’t payin’ ’cause Irwin Seating “failed to perform its obligations in accordance with the (January 2007) agreement.”

Ouch.

Common complaints across the Rock range from cramped, narrow seats to lack of cupholders (as previously promised, of course). The small seats make for very little arm and leg room between patrons. And forget about it if you’re a bit thicker — there ain’t much space for that derriere.

Some fans also argue the seats to be “too low,” making the sightlines a bit less than favorable. Granted, it won’t be as hard to spot Devils players next season with the departure of four-foot tall Brian Gionta, but STILL! Actually being able to see the game is always a plus, right?

So, what happens? Do we beg for Devils fans to enroll in Jenny Craig or should we unleash the wrath of a couple Newark thugs on Irwin Seating?

I kind of want to vote for the latter. If nothing else, it would at least be funny.

Get well Burnsie

Just wanted to say that the entire 2ma staff is hoping for the good health of former Devils bench boss Pat Burns, who unfortunately has been diagnosed with cancer for a third time.

Burns, who of course led the boys in red and black to their third cup in 2003, apparently is dealing with some sort of cancerous activity in his lungs. According to TG over at Fire & Ice he still operates as a special assignment coach for the Devils, helping out where he can. While he has evidently opted not to go with chemo to treat the cancer, he has been receiving some sort of treatment since learning the cancer had returned last spring.

He’s a fighter, as evidenced by him beating cancer twice before, so let’s hope he can put it to bed for the hat trick. Get well Burnsie!

Alexei Cherepanov dies during game in Russia

TSN is reporting that Rangers 2007 first round pick Alexei Cherepanov has died after collapsing on the bench towards the end of a game with Russian team Omsk of the Kontenential Hockey League in Russia. He was 19 years old.

Everyone here at 2 Man Advantage send our condolences to Cherepanov’s family, friends, fans, and teammates. He may have been drafted by the Rangers, but he was a member of a much larger hockey family that transcends fan/team affiliation. The hockey world lost one hell of a young player this afternoon.

RIP

Our stories can wait…

On behalf of the 2MA Crew, I would like to say that our prayers are with Richard Zednik, his family, and the entire Florida Panthers organization and its fans.

I know we joke around a lot here, but there’s nothing funny about what happened last night.

GET WELL SOON!

Rest up buddy! The entire NHL and its fans are rooting for ya!

On a personal note…

That Johnny is so silly.

_____

Today’s Mr. Bechtel’s day of birth ladies and gents! Wish him a happy birthday, will ya? He ain’t gettin’ any younger, ya know!

Fancy.

So, I get e-mails.

Quite a few e-mails, actually.

Some proclaim I can enlarge my (non-existent) male genitalia, others promise low price Xanax from Canada shipped right to my door.

Same old, same old, right?

I get other e-mails too, though. Some of these e-mails, actually, really make me happy. Happy enough I don’t need that Xanax, and that’s always good, because let’s face it, who really buys fake drugs on the internet?

Oh, lots of people do?

My bad.

Anyway, I received one particular e-mail a few weeks ago from a 2MA reader named Barry, who proclaimed his undying love for this very website. He even said he’d take a bullet for the boys and me. Okay, I may have exaggerated a wee bit there, but it’s the thought that counts.

Note to self: find a point.

Ah, yes. Barry is actually quite the interesting fan, as he’s not only from Edinburgh, Scotland, he’s also a hockey player who skates for the Edinburgh Eagles. Cool, huh?

I’ve been corresponding with my buddy Barry for a little while now, and I just wanted to make note of our most recent conversation:

FAN MAIL!!

Neat, huh?

I’d like to take a little credit in Barry’s super awesome goal he scored, I mean, clearly the 2MA sticker had a lot to do with it.

Kidding, Barry. Please still read this site.

Alas, we love hearing stories from the 2MA readers! Don’t ever shy away from sending us a note about how awesome we are or, well, if you hate us — that’s cool too. I mean, can’t win ’em all, right?

Heck, even send us your stories or your own commentaries, you never know, maybe they’ll pop up on 2MA sometime!

From the 2MA Crew to you…

Gobbles.

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

Max McNab, 1924-2007

The Devils lost another member of their family as Max McNab passed away on September 2nd.

For those that don’t know the name, Max was the Devils second GM, replacing Billy MacMillan mid-season in 1983. Current GM Lou Lamoriello suceeded McNab in 1987.

The Devils drafted such players as Kirk Muller, Chris Terreri, Sean Burke and Eric Weinrich during his tenure, and these draft moves would help change the team image from a Mickey Mouse club to respectability. He remained with the team as Executive Vice President until retiring in 1994.

I tend to think of the Devils organization as a close knit family and anytime we lose a member of that family, we should take a moment and say a little prayer. So as training camp looms on the horizon, take a moment and think about Max and what he did for our little hockey team. His son David McNab is Assistant General Manager with the Anaheim Ducks and I hope that Max got to spend one more day with the Cup before his death.

Darren’s Award Winners

With the NHL handing out its annual awards on Thursday night, I thought today would be a good day to share my list of who I think should win these awards.

Lester B. Pearson
– Sidney Crosby: No doubt that everyone in the NHL looks at Sid the Kid as the best thing to happen to this league. I’ve never heard one player in the league say the guy was overrated or didn’t deserve all the attention he gets. This kid IS the present and future of this league.

Calder Trophy
-Evgeni Malkin: With 33 goals and 52 assists the 20 year old Russian had an instant impact on the Penguins as he helped Sidney Crosby win a scoring title at 19, and made the Penguins a playoff contender again. A star from the word go the only difficulty he had in the NHL was getting out of his Russian contract, now the only question is how many years will him and Crosby take before they are the new Mario and Jagr leading the Penguins not just to the playoffs but to the Stanley Cup.

Frank J. Selke Trophy
-Jay Pandolfo: In College Jay Pandolfo at Boston University was one of the top goal scorers in the NCAA. However, upon joining the Devils Pandolfo was asked to sacrifice scoring to be a defensive forward in the team’s trapping defensive system. In 2006/07 Pandolfo once again was solid on defense and also had one of his finest offensive season while taking few penalties, which should have made him a Lady Byng candidate. However, before the Byng, Pandolfo deserves his first Selke.

Jack Adams Trophy
-Michel Therrien: Last year the Penguins were one of the worst teams in the NHL as they finished in last place with a 22-46-14 record. This year they challenged for a division title until the very end of the season and went to the playoffs for the first time in 6 years. While the development of players like Sidney Crosby, Jordan Staal and Evgeni Malkin were the main reason. All three being under the age of 20 had to learn to win from someone and that is the coaching job Therrien did as the young Penguins have a bright future.

Vezina Trophy
-Martin Brodeur: One day Martin Brodeur may be looked upon as the best goalie in the history of the NHL as the two-time Vezina Winner is quickly moving up the all-time wins list and career shutout lists. This year may have been the best of Brodeur’s career as he set a new single season record with 48 wins, true the shoot out adds a big asterisk, but with 13 shut outs, and many coming in games he saved 30 or more shots as the new NHL forces goalies to be on their toes much eliminating the old Devils tactic of playing keep away with a lead.

Hart Trophy
-Martin Brodeur: There are rare occasions when a goalie wins the Hart Trophy as the league MVP. However, this is one of those occasions, while Sidney Crosby was the best skater, nobody not even Crosby was more valuable to his team then Marin Brodeur was to the Devils. Brodeur started all but 5 games this year as he set records for minutes played and wins with 48, while posting 13 shutouts. However it was the 33 wins by just one goal that illustrates how valuable Bordeur was to the Devils who won another Division Title.

Duck Season – Scotty Wins Another

I have to say this day is a little bitter. I know, I know get over it already but watching Niedermayer lift that Cup last night was the last thing I wanted to do. It is just a little aggrevating that in the two years since he left New Jersey, he’s been to a Conference Finals and in his second season, wins the big prize. Even though the boys have put together two decent seasons since his departure, lets be realists when we say we aren’t that close to the big prize. On top of all that I had to watch Chris Pronger also raise the Cup.

Excuse me while I look for the closest toilet.

But I don’t want to take anything away from Scotty. He’s an incredible player and a player that can leave a championship calibre team and lead another team in the same direction, as Captain, deserves a lot of praise. I do believe Anaheim realized what they were getting back on August 4, 2005 and again realized it last night. I’m sure Paul Kariya wishes he stuck around now!

Anaheim is an amazing team and while their free agent list is a little large, I do think they should be right in the thick of things next season too.

I am starting to believe that there might be something to the Canadian Curse (although I wish they would name it something else as I don’t believe in so called “curses.”) Of the three teams that recently made it to the Finals, I thought Ottawa had the strongest chance but in the end made the weakest showing.

Since the moment the Devils lost to the Senators I wanted the Stanley Cup Finals to be over because I want to get on with answering our off-season questions. We are finally there and I guess seeing Scotty raise the cup could have been a little worse, he could have done it against New Jersey.

Congratulations Anaheim on hoisting Lord Stanley’s Cup!!