Why don’t you take a seat?

It sucks to be a Devils fan if you have a fat ass.

…what, too blunt?

I apologize.

Let’s be frank here though. The round buns of many Devils fans far and wide (pun partially intended) are wedged between a Rock and a, well, plastic seat.

What the heck am I saying?

Oh, the seats are too cramped!

Or so says the organization and its fans, as Black ‘n Red has outright refused to pay $1.2-million to the Michigan-based seating company Irwin Seating.

Buggers filed a lawsuit against the Devils!

As reported by John Brennan over at NorthJersey.com, New Jersey ain’t payin’ ’cause Irwin Seating “failed to perform its obligations in accordance with the (January 2007) agreement.”

Ouch.

Common complaints across the Rock range from cramped, narrow seats to lack of cupholders (as previously promised, of course). The small seats make for very little arm and leg room between patrons. And forget about it if you’re a bit thicker — there ain’t much space for that derriere.

Some fans also argue the seats to be “too low,” making the sightlines a bit less than favorable. Granted, it won’t be as hard to spot Devils players next season with the departure of four-foot tall Brian Gionta, but STILL! Actually being able to see the game is always a plus, right?

So, what happens? Do we beg for Devils fans to enroll in Jenny Craig or should we unleash the wrath of a couple Newark thugs on Irwin Seating?

I kind of want to vote for the latter. If nothing else, it would at least be funny.

Hey, It’s the Off-Season.

I don’t now if global warming has anything to do with it, but the summer seems to be getting a little longer. Well, at least for us Devils fans it is.

The summertime is always a fun time to go through old hockey video clips and just talk puck with your buddies in anticipation of the new season.

Well, how about a little reminiscing, eh?

Oh, Mr. Richer. To this day you are still my favorite Devil of all-time, hands down. I don’t think I’ve ever loved a team like I did the boys in Black ‘n Red all the way back in 1995.

Not a bad pass by Broten, either. 😉

Game 5: Devils @ Hurricanes LIVECAP!

10:02 PM: I’m goin’ to bed.  I think none of us are all that shocked that this series is gonna go seven.  My heart might not make in ’til Tuesday night.  G’night gang.

10:00 PM: Game 7 is Tuesday night at The Rock.  Let’s just pretend like tonight didn’t happen.  Game 7 is all that matters now, and despite how tonight’s game looked, these two teams are still amazingly evenly matched.

9:59 PM: And that’s it.  4-0.  I’m sick to death of 4-0 games this year.

9:58 PM: Gionta can’t stuff it home with a little room in front – one minute left in the game.

9:56 PM: The Devils are playing without a fourth line right now – apparently both Rupp and Clarkson earned 10 minute misconducts in that little scrum before.  Only Gleason picked up one for Carolina.

9:55 PM: Three minutes left in this humiliation of a hockey game.

9:51 PM: And another blatant penalty, this one a trip via Brian Rolston.  Guys, I agreed to LiveCap this game, which means I HAVE to watch it.  At least stop taking boneheaded penalties while I’m still forced to pay attention!

9:49 PM: Shorthanded three-on-two but Shanny can’t bury the puck.  One goal would be nice at least…

9:47 PM: Somehow in the fight, the Hurricanes wound up with a power play.  Great.  Rupp took the extra two for roughing.

9:44 PM: Hey, a sign of life!  Clarkson pulls Gleason out of a scrum and after a bit of hugging, they finally give us a full-fledged fight.  Hey, it worked for the Penguins.  Problem is, Clarkson waited one goal and one period too many.

9:39 PM: Jussi Jokinen, 4-0.  Marty had no chance, of course.  Sigh.

9:37 PM: Someone on TV wasn’t happy.  Dunno if it was a fan or player, but someone yelled pretty loudly “HEY!  WHAT THE F&$% WAS THAT?!”  Immediately afterwards, Madden’s off for roughing.  A long 5-on-3 for the Hurricanes, and if you don’t have ’em yet, I’d go pick up your game 7 tickets right about now.

9:36 PM: Travis Zajac with a pretty obvious hook.  11:30 left in the third.  Bad timing, Trav.  Bad timing.

9:35 PM: Even our chances aren’t actual chances – Shanahan has Ward out of position but can’t get a shot away through the Hurricane defense.

9:32 PM: So, how ’bout them Mets?  …seriously?  8-1?  To the NATIONALS?  Ugh.  I got nothin’.

9:27 PM: That was pretty indicative of how this game’s been going:  Andy Greene with a nice run up ice, all by his lonesome, chips it past a defender at the blue line, chases after it…and trips and falls into a massive heap over a random ‘Cane.

9:24 PM: Well, here goes nothin’.  Third period on.

9:06 PM: And the second period is over.  Thank god.  3-0 Hurricanes.  Book your game seven tickets now kids, there isn’t even a hint that the Devils can come back from this one a la Tuesday night.

9:02 PM: A few seconds of serious offensive flurry in front of Cam Ward, but nothing doing.  BAH!

8:59 PM: The response is not as immediate as it was Tuesday night.

8:55 PM: I’m gonna try something.  It worked last time:

Attention Devils:

WAKE UP!

Thanks.

-2 Man Advantage.

8:52 PM: I was really hoping there wouldn’t be a game seven, because dammit, I have stuff to do Tuesday night that I’m gonna have to cancel in favor of going to The Rock.

8:48 PM: Hey hey, a shot on goal!  Stopped by Cam Ward, but at least there was a shot within the area of the red pipes, that might have gone into the net had there not be a human being standing in front of it.

8:44 PM: I give up.  AWFUL two-on-one and Marty’s just left out to dry.  3-0, Staal’s goal again.  I really don’t feel like watching this game anymore at this point.

8:41 PM: Shots on goal currently sits at 22-5 in favor of Carolina.  THAT should tell you who’s bothered to show up in Raleigh this evening.

8:38 PM: …dammit.  2-0 Hurricanes, Staal.  Dammit dammit dammit.

8:37 PM: The Devils just cannot make it to any loose pucks.  It’s scary how much better the Hurricanes look right now.

8:36 PM: Zubbie outta the box.

8:35 PM: ‘Canes gotta be up to eight or nine shots on just two power plays so far tonight.  Meep.

8:33 PM: Not the love I was speaking of.  Zubbie takes a retaliatory roughing call and it’s Carolina to the PP.

8:32 PM: Second period on.  C’mon Unseen Hand, a little love, eh?

8:14 PM: And that’ll do it for period one.  Devils start with a two-second power play to start the second period.  Shots on goal:  Carolina 15, New Jersey 4.  Oof.

8:12 PM: Uhm, guys…we ARE on the power play…That means that, well, the puck should be in the offensive zone and controlled by you the majority of the time.

8:11 PM: NICE sliding breakup of the two-on-one by Mike Mottau, then Zubbie draws a tripping penalty via Pitkanen with about two minutes left in the first.

8:10 PM: I hear it’s hot in Raleigh today – it sure is hot here – and it shows in terms of ice quality.  Or it could also be us sucking.  That’s possible.

8:08 PM: On a happier note, I’m watching this game in HD for a  change!

8:07 PM: Aaand that’s why I don’t get my hopes up.  Not a bad power play per se, but nothing to show for it nonetheless.

8:05 PM: Pitkanen hooks Gionta and we’re on the (PSE&G) Power Play.  I’d get excited if I thought we had a chance to score.

8:04 PM: Or crossbar.  Possibly holy crazy crossbar save.

8:03 PM: Holy crazy blocker save!

7:59 PM: And when I say that they’re not trying, I of course am not including Marty.  This game would be 4-0 without him right now.

7:58 PM: I understand that it’s hard to match desperation when a team’s got it’s back to the wall, but jeez, trying a little would be nice.

7:54 PM: DAMMIT!  Ray Whitney finally cracks Marty, batting a puck out of mid-air baseball-style.  1-0 Hurricanes, and perhaps more telling, 12-1 shots in the Hurricanes favor, and I refuse to believe the fact that we actually have a shot on goal.

7:51 PM: Penalty kill’d.  Thankfully, and not for lack of trying on Carolina’s end.  Eleven and a half left in the period.

7:48 PM: Oh jebus.  Pandolfo loses his stick during the PP, as does Marty, with chances galore for the ‘Canes, but STILL we finally manage to clear.  Oh man this is gonna be a crazy game, just like every other one this series before it.

7:46 PM: Well the Hurricanes sure realize that this could be their last game.  And the fans sure realize that this could be their last game as well.  Mike Rupp does not realize this, apparently, and takes a holding penalty on Jussi Jokinen.

7:45 PM: Oh, right, no Doc tonight.  Blast.

7:43 PM: I got stuck at work, but I am here now.  Langs back in, Holik’s a scratch, Greene’s still in, still no Salvador, game in 2 minutes old, no score yet.  Get it?  Got it?  Good.

Thoughts From Section 209…. Devils/Canes Round 5!!

Holy Shit I’m still exhausted from this one… and I’m sure I ain’t the only one…. You could feel it in the air, you could hear it in the fans… you DAMN WELL SAW IT ON THE ICE… My God that was one of the most intense, hard played… passitionate…. energetic and flat out fucking ANGRY hockey games I think I’ve ever seen in my life… so much to say but still pushing the exhaustion aside and the coffee down my throat… here… we … go!!

the Good:
— I don’t do this often (cause let’s be honest you don’t read this to see me kiss ass to the opposition, I leave that to Chico Resch :p)… but Cam Ward played ONE HELL OF A GAME LAST NIGHT and I wanted to get that out of the way… he was just as sick tonight (though I did love the attending media shitting on Ward and not naming him one of the three stars of the night!!)… and if that puffypadded douche across the Hudson made that glove save on Parise, Sam Rosen would STILL be creaming his pants!
— ANDY GREENE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What can I say?? Hearing the thousands….. AND THOUSANDS… chant his name all night long!! (ok that’s a bit much but the whole car ride home was ANDY GREENE … ANDY GREENE… ANDY GREENE… given some of that was to drown out the audio cancer known as the Ducks radio announcers)… kid got put in and do what kids do in the playoffs… played the game of his DAMN LIFE… now this isn’t a knock on Salvador (I think he’s interchangeable with Havelid on this)… but putting Greene with either one of them makes them and that pairing better!! If Andy keeps playing like THIS it matters not how healthy Salvador is, GREENE MUST PLAY!!! (and I expect to have a #6 jersey by the fall!)
— oh MB30… I’ve been hard on you… and I will be again, I know this…. but good sir… you got woken up with that lame call in game 4 (for the record I would have ruled no penalty, but no goal)… it FIRED YOU UP… it MOTIVATED YOU… and it MADE YOU ANGRY!!! And NO ONE wants to see mb30 angry!!!! (well I do for 13 more games!)
— David Clarkson…ever since you got called up and started seeing regular ice time… I’ve been a bit harsh on you too… I expected more…. I saw it in you… I even kinda passed the torch to you… I saw Randy McKay, Version 2.0 in you… and now it’s starting to come to life… you raised hell, you were on Cam Ward like a fucking hemorrhoid, you stood there… ok you dove and flopped some… but you also DELIVERED in front of the net when it mattered the most!
— Man I even left out the biggest and best thing about tonight… THAT CROWD!!! Oh my god… loud, intense, PASSION FILLED FANS SCREAMING THEIR BALLS OFF (or girly parts too :p) … ALL GAME LONG (though I have to admit… my PMS this time of year is crazy… seeing Mindy all but reach over and pick that girl up and DEMAND she stand up for the last 4 minutes of the game…. that was 5-stars… like I said in the car… it was like watching me, but female at work… I got a kick out of it!!

the Bad:
— well you ain’t gonna win many games scoring on one goal in 48 shots… but fuck it!!! I don’t think we may EVER see both goalies play this well (except maybe that classic game 5 in the 2000 Finals, where I defy you to find two goalies do it better!)
— Colin White had a moment of PURE STUPID in the 3rd period where he chased and chased till he got called for it, he’s just DAMN LUCKY mb30 was in a “I WILL NOT LOSE” mode tonight!!
— Clarkson as good and big a game as he had… only 6:32 of ice time?? Eh?? I know Holik and Rupp suck, but still.. it’s time to give him some time with Parise and Zajac too then… this kid HAS to be out there more!
— One goalie gets body splashed upon… the other one gets baseball slid into… one goalie gets some back… and HE gets called for a penalty?? WTF!??! Maybe as a violent goalie I should not be one to bitch… but if you are gonna let the goalies get pounded like VEAL you DAMN WELL BETTER let them get some back (and given the goalie who got called got his at the end of the game!)
— Brian Gionta… lose that damn playoff beard… it just looks silly!!! It’s no Jay Pandolfo “Afro on the Chin” for sure!!

the Funny:
— to be honest there wasn’t alot…. this was all about the game tonight… but still… this was worth it!!!
(though I wonder if I keep making Andrew Speed Racer jokes in here will he get cranky and reply, or just realize I am giving him shit about his claim to fame just like I do with anyone else, and more so when you join the Section 209 EXPERIENCE!)
— We did have a good pre-game moment… Mindy brought her Brian Gionta BC Jersey to the game and had a moment of puck bunny… kinda (it’s ok it’s the playoffs…. she’s allowed!!) holding and waving her jersey on the boards… a couple of guys looked at it and got… here comes John Madden… looks at the jersey… looks up and goes WHAT THE FUCK… and you can see his mouth moving it too…. always loved that about Madden… the dude is mister fucking cerebral!!!
— One good little story was the dope in 208 with the PuffyPadded Douche jersey…. while he sat there and took his grief and wasn’t an assclown about it… he did get some in the second intermission… Lil Nicky’s sister (Maggie, right?? it’s hard to remember her name since Nicky is the Super Star of the two… don’t worry I do the same with my nieces… and I badly want to keep lobbying my sister to let Bella meet lil Nicky… yeah she’s four but she can hang with him… hell I allow them to date in like 12 years from now :p)… anyway… Maggie walks up to the Ranger Fan with one of the RANGERS SUCK bumper stickers her mom makes and sells (well worth the $5 people… go get one when you’re by 208!)… and offers it to him as a peace offering…. quite funny!!!!
— Also in the funny note was lil Nicky’s dance to the music that MIGHT just end up on You Tube this afternoon!!
— I can’t remember the play but just being able to yell… ZACH PARISE SPINNING NO LOOK BACKHAND PASS OF AWESOME THROUGH THE LEGS …. of DOOOOOMMMMMMM… was worth the re-mention!!

Devils @ Panthers LIVECAP!!

10:06 PM: So a five-game winning streak for NJ after nearly losing the game in a poorly-played few minutes in the third. Nothing like a little tension to head into turkey day. That’s it for me tonight. Check back in the next few days for the launch of a major initiative from the 2ma! Goduya! Happy Thanksgiving!

10:01 PM: Johnny mothereffin’ Oduya!!!!! After botching a 2-on-1 just minutes ago, the reborn defenseman rips one through Anderson to win the game for New Jersey! Devils win! 3-2 in OT.

10:00 PM: Penalty killed, Devils on the attack. Thankfully the Panthers are still playing like little more than an AHL squad.

9:56 PM: OT underway and hot jesus on a hammock, they throw the puck over the glass and draw a penalty. Would somebody please find the Devils from 90 minutes ago?

9:53 PM: Damn. David Booth puts one home with 7.8 seconds left. We’re going to OT folks! Major Buzzkill is undoubtedly laughing from the bench, twirling his evil mustache. I completely blame this on my girlfriend, who wished against the shutout so her fantasy team would do better.

9:52 PM: Stop by Clemmer. Good pressure by the Panthers though, under 30 seconds left.

9:51 PM: Buzzkill pulled. Less than a minute to play.

9:49 PM: Ooof. Out of nowhere the Panthers put one in on a quick bang-bang play to Bouwemeester in the slot. 2-1. Two minutes to play.

9:43 PM: Major Buzzkill strikes again. Anderson stones Parise on a great breakaway chance. I feel like Anderson was stroking his Snidely Whiplash mustache under his helmet after that one.

9:41 PM: And now what it would have looked like if it were 1943! Anyone else getting sepia-tone replays?

9:38 PM: The Panthers look like the mighty mites on the 5-on-3 and Clemmer shuts them down when they get their act together for the subsequent 5-on-4. Still 2-0 in the second half of the 3rd.

9:35 PM: Ooooh boy. Now it gets interesting. Gio takes down a Panther and is called for tripping in what was a far more legitimate infraction. 5-on-3. The Panthers have “Right Now” by Van Halen on in the arena to boot. This sh*t’s about to get intense, hair band style.

9:33 PM: BS roughing call on Colin White. Nathan Horton comes up high on a hit on Whitey in the corner and he retaliates and gets called for a minor.

9:28 PM: 7 minutes of unremarkable hockey is broken by an absolutely absurd pair of saves by Clemmer! He made a solid save on an initial shot and I think somehow detached his spine to catch the rebound with his lower back. Johnny Oduya backs him up by kicking the puck out of harms way near the goal line. Whew! That woke me up.

9:22 PM: Back at it here in the third. Man, I agree with Josh, this Craig Anderson character is a bummer.

9:01 PM: Clemmer’s looked great during a bit of pressure from the Panthers at the end of the second there. Might be time for Weeksie to find that crossword puzzle book he was working on last year. Devils still up 2-0 after two.

8:58 PM: It even looks like the refs are taking pity on the thus-far hapless Panthers. Jay Leach gets called for a questionable interference minor and the Panthers are on the PP.

8:53 PM:Man, Patty and Gio are playing like it’s ’05-’06. Every shift has just been gold for them lately. A great give and go gets stopped by Anderson, who admittedly has done well to stonewall the Devils here in the second.

8:47 PM: And another powerplay without a goal. Still, as MSG-1294 just flashed up on the screen, the scoring chances are 16-1 at this point, so I’m not going to throw a pissy fit over it.

8:43 PM: Another penalty to the Panthers!

8:42 PM: My girlfriend, who has been affectionate to me in the comments arena tonight, just pointed out that Clemmenson is quite intimidating in net. I never noticed it, especially since there’s been no focus on him whatsoever tonight, but the dude seriously looks Devilish in net with his dark pads and mask.

8:39 PM: Another strong powerplay by the Devils with nothing to show for it. Still, the Devils look like they’re in a different league than the Panthers, who might have stayed a little too long out in the sun today.

8:36 PM: 17-4 is the shot total right now in favor of New Jersey. 17-4! Clarkson takes a spill (which I’m convinced has more to do with the fact that his skating ability is akin to Happy Gilmore than a trip) for a penalty and we’ve got another Devils powerplay!

8:29 PM: Back again for the second to find that Thomas Voukon has made a hasty exit in lieu of Craig Anderson. That’s two games straight that the Devils, the New Jersey Devils mind you, have chased goalies in consecutive games. What’s going on here? I ain’t about to question it.

8:11 PM: Hahaha. Doc ends the period with the most uncomfortable “whoohooo” ever to announce the Devils next Nathan’s hot dog night.

8:09 PM:Wow! A beautiful tic-tac-toe passing play from Parise to Cap’n Langs on over to Zajac and it’s a 2-0 game. All four lines are looking great heading into the final minute of the period down in Florida.

8:06 PM: Man, the boys are buzzing tonight. I’m almost terrified at this point that Rolston and Holik coming back will upset this magnificent chemistry that’s been stumbled across.

8:03 PM: Some good puck movement on the powerplay but nothing to show for it. The Devils are outshooting the Panthers 9-2 so far this period, so I’m not gonna complain. Are we on MSG-153 tonight? This looks like it’s being filmed in a cave.

8:01 PM: Penalty on Florida! Looked like a hook as Elias is taken down. Devils PP!

7:55 PM: Back and forth hockey here, nothing too spectacular. We could invent some Devils drama in the process I suppose. Bryce Salvador totally just rejected Parise’s stick after he broke his in the defensive zone. Is there trouble in paradise?

7:51 PM: The Devils really have a zip to their game again tonight. I dunno what Grumpy McMonkey Ears behind the bench has been saying to them lately, but he better keep it up. Is it injuries? Is the road to Lord Stanley paved with sports hernias? No probably not.

7:47 PM: Gionta scores!! The streak continues! Five straight games with a goal for Gio on another beautiful deflection setup by Mr. Johnny Oduya, who has looked freakin’ phenomenal this year.

7:45 PM: Elias just barely fans on an opportunity in front. Chico points out that this is in fact hockey and not soccer and Elias would not have been able to kick the puck into the net. Whew, that’s a load off.

7:43 PM: Penalty killed. Jesus, are the Devils really only 68 percent on the penalty kill at home? WTF? Devils powerplay as the Panthers take a minor!

7:40 PM: After figuring out some dual live-cap madness we’re underway! And less than 2 minutes in we’ve already got a penalty to Elias. Devils on the PK early.

7:35 PM: I think this truly must be a 2ma first.

7:32 PM: Oh! Dueling livecaps!!!! Damn you Burnett!!

7:30 PM: P.S. I had some trouble finding the game tonight on my cable. If you’re having the same problem, this is where I found the info on what asscrack of television the devils broadcast is on tonight.

7:25 PM:So Scottie Clemmensen gets the start tonight as we continue to work through the weird and wild post-Brodeur apocalypse. We’re still working on fixing the Zubbie Counter after last night’s explosion, but those repairs could be helped along by some continued stellar play (ahem).

7:19 PM: Hey all, it’s been a while I know. I’ve been giving a little too much love to my other wordpress baby lately (i sorta get paid for it), and I apologize. But OMG, two livecaps in a week?! We’re totally spoiling you. Let’s go Devils!

Alexei Cherepanov dies during game in Russia

TSN is reporting that Rangers 2007 first round pick Alexei Cherepanov has died after collapsing on the bench towards the end of a game with Russian team Omsk of the Kontenential Hockey League in Russia. He was 19 years old.

Everyone here at 2 Man Advantage send our condolences to Cherepanov’s family, friends, fans, and teammates. He may have been drafted by the Rangers, but he was a member of a much larger hockey family that transcends fan/team affiliation. The hockey world lost one hell of a young player this afternoon.

RIP

Listening & Working

I’d like to thank everyone who dropped by and hung around for the Live-Cap of the Devils/Rangers game a few nights ago.  As you may have noticed, we’re toying with something new as far as the structure of our Live-Cap is concerned.

Frankly, the maiden voyage has generated some mixed reviews.  It mainly breaks down like this:

But on a serious note…

– Those of you that attended and interacted in the Live-Cap had fun with it and seem to be giving it a thumbs up.

– Readers who checked it out after everything was wrapped up (I happen to fall into this category) are generating the more negative responses.

There are also plenty of readers I’ve spoken to that need to see some more of it before they can form an opinion.

This being the case, I wanted to let all of our readers & fans know that we truly appreciate your feedback on the matter and we assure you that we are listening to your advice and we will be trying different approaches, set-ups, and structures for our Live-Caps for the remainder of the pre-season.  We would love it if as many of you as possible could get involved and be a part of the process.

More or less, we’d like to use the comment-thread for this post as a braindump for you and ourselves to share ideas and explore some possible improvements.  So get to typing!!

I’d also like to point out that there is not necessarily a definite change taking place to the Live-Cap structure.  It’s very possible that we could end up using the original format, thus wasting our time after all. 😉  Hey, change isn’t always a bad thing.  Just ask Larry Robinson.

Thanks again for getting involved, 2MA loves you!